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Old 09-06-2017, 12:22 AM   #12831
Aaron
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Pinocchio's last name was Woodson.
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Old 09-06-2017, 04:56 AM   #12832
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The verdict is out on Kate's topless photographs.

They're awesome!
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Old 09-06-2017, 03:08 PM   #12833
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Adam wasn't the first man.

God made a prototype on the second day, by the name of Fabio.
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Old 09-06-2017, 11:35 PM   #12834
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An Irishman walked into a pub with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender took a look and asked, "Hey, that's pretty neat. Where'd you get him?"
"Dublin," the parrot responded.
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Old 09-07-2017, 02:16 PM   #12835
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Then there's the one about the tuff female diver, who always found her self with muff in her mouth

Last edited by ball7; 09-08-2017 at 10:28 PM..
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Old 09-09-2017, 07:44 AM   #12836
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While golfing, a senior gentleman accidentally overturned his golf cart late one afternoon.
A very attractive, young, female golfer, who lives in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you OK?"
"I’m OK, thanks," he replied, as he pulled himself out of the twisted cart.
She said, "Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I’ll help you get the cart up later."
The old guy noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure.
"That’s mighty nice of you," he answered, "but I don’t think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on now!" she insisted. She was so pretty, and very, very persuasive. He was weak.
"Well, OK," he finally agreed.
After a couple of Scotch and sodas, he thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better now. But I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I’d better go now."
"Don’t be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open. "Stay for a while. Your wife won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?"
He replied, "Still under the cart, I suppose."
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Old 09-10-2017, 05:01 AM   #12837
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Q: What do a tribe of pygmies and a women's track team have in common?
A: The tribe of pygmies is a cunning bunch of runts.
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Old 09-10-2017, 12:19 PM   #12838
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I recenty had to name my first born.
Since I want him to grow up to a dreamer and a achiver.

So I named Cunt Hunter Funkel
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Old 09-10-2017, 04:11 PM   #12839
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Q: What does a hooker with the runs and an epileptic corn husker have in common?
A: The epileptic shucks between fits.

and now for something completely different:

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Old 09-10-2017, 06:57 PM   #12840
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I don't want to admit to my wife that I've started using Viagra. Not sure how long I can keep this up though.
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