Post your corny jokes - Page 869

**Jeff Vader** · October 13th, 2014, 09:35 PM

Pfizer has come out with a new tablet after Viagra.

To honour Tiger Woods, they have named it Tiagra.

The punch line: Good for 18 holes.

**SanteeFats** · October 13th, 2014, 10:12 PM

I was over at a buddies a while ago. He and his girlfriend were watching Dr. Doolittle. The one with Eddie Murphy. When the scene came where the wife was going to represent him in court she turned to my friend and sais there is no way that a wife can represent her husband in court. Yet she had no problem with talking animals???? As Bill Engvall would say "Here's your sign". Oh yeah I did say that and now I can't go over there anymore.

**dbailey** · October 13th, 2014, 11:55 PM

I've been spending a lot of time at the wife's grave lately.

......she still thinks it's a fish pond !!

vincere · October 14th, 2014, 09:22 AM

An old guy went to the Dr's complaining he was still in the mood for fun with his elderly wife but his penis was not. Knowing his medical history the Doc told him Viagra was out of the question but he could refer him to a psychiatrist who could help. The psychiatrist hypnotised the old guy and planted the suggestion in his subconscious that to achieve an erection he just had to say 1 2 3 . To return to a normal state after making love to his wife he just had to say 1 2 3 4. When the shrink awoke the old geezer from his trance he warned him that due to his age the treatment had a short term of effectiveness. He warned him to just use his gift for Christmas and birthdays . On returning home the old guy could not wait to try out his gift. That night in bed he turned to his wife and said "ONE TWO THREE ! " His wife looked at him puzzled and said "what's all this ONE TWO THREE FOR ?"

**Jeff Vader** · October 14th, 2014, 03:41 PM

I like to go to beaches early in the morning and bury metal items with 'Get a life!' written on them.

**Jonno71** · October 14th, 2014, 04:22 PM

My mate said he had got himself a cracking holiday deal today where for £1,270 you can have a holiday that lasts not only 7 months but you also get paid holiday pay from work for that length of time, free health and medical care while everyone waits on you. It’s called the MICHAEL SCUMAKER SKIING ADVENTURE package.

**Jonno71** · October 15th, 2014, 11:08 AM

My girlfriend asks me every single day what her best feature is. After two years I have come to the conclusion it’s her perseverance.

**Jeff Vader** · October 15th, 2014, 01:47 PM

The boss of Dulux paints has died of hypothermia while trekking across the Antarctic.

Medics say he needed a second coat.

**seany65** · October 17th, 2014, 01:05 AM

Given the worries over terrorism that have recently come up, shouldn't ISIS Nile and ISIS Love have their threads renamed "Evil scary terrorist Nile" and "Evil scary terrorist Love"?

**Jeff Vader** · October 17th, 2014, 10:51 AM

I was given a very expensive looking camera as a gift today.

They were foreign tourists, so I didn't understand the rest, but it was still a nice gesture.

October 13th, 2014, 09:35 PM	#8681
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,031 Times in 6,511 Posts	Pfizer has come out with a new tablet after Viagra. To honour Tiger Woods, they have named it Tiagra. The punch line: Good for 18 holes. __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

October 14th, 2014, 09:22 AM	#8684
vincere Member Join Date: Oct 2014 Posts: 27 Thanks: 23 Thanked 304 Times in 25 Posts	terrible "joke" An old guy went to the Dr's complaining he was still in the mood for fun with his elderly wife but his penis was not. Knowing his medical history the Doc told him Viagra was out of the question but he could refer him to a psychiatrist who could help. The psychiatrist hypnotised the old guy and planted the suggestion in his subconscious that to achieve an erection he just had to say 1 2 3 . To return to a normal state after making love to his wife he just had to say 1 2 3 4. When the shrink awoke the old geezer from his trance he warned him that due to his age the treatment had a short term of effectiveness. He warned him to just use his gift for Christmas and birthdays . On returning home the old guy could not wait to try out his gift. That night in bed he turned to his wife and said "ONE TWO THREE ! " His wife looked at him puzzled and said "what's all this ONE TWO THREE FOR ?"

October 14th, 2014, 03:41 PM	#8685
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,031 Times in 6,511 Posts	I like to go to beaches early in the morning and bury metal items with 'Get a life!' written on them. __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

October 15th, 2014, 01:47 PM	#8688
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,031 Times in 6,511 Posts	The boss of Dulux paints has died of hypothermia while trekking across the Antarctic. Medics say he needed a second coat. __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :

October 17th, 2014, 01:05 AM	#8689
seany65 Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 3,663 Thanks: 80,576 Thanked 32,813 Times in 3,540 Posts	Given the worries over terrorism that have recently come up, shouldn't ISIS Nile and ISIS Love have their threads renamed "Evil scary terrorist Nile" and "Evil scary terrorist Love"? __________________ <-- That's Emer Kenny and I want to be stuck in her front bottom. Quote from electrofreak : I'd rather have questions that can't be answered, than answers that can't be questioned.

October 13th, 2014, 10:12 PM	#8682
SanteeFats Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Santee, Ca Posts: 60,942 Thanks: 282,146 Thanked 815,667 Times in 60,990 Posts	I was over at a buddies a while ago. He and his girlfriend were watching Dr. Doolittle. The one with Eddie Murphy. When the scene came where the wife was going to represent him in court she turned to my friend and sais there is no way that a wife can represent her husband in court. Yet she had no problem with talking animals???? As Bill Engvall would say "Here's your sign". Oh yeah I did say that and now I can't go over there anymore.

October 13th, 2014, 11:55 PM	#8683
dbailey Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Wharfedale, Yorkshire, UK Posts: 2,298 Thanks: 137,978 Thanked 24,966 Times in 2,218 Posts	I've been spending a lot of time at the wife's grave lately. ......she still thinks it's a fish pond !!

October 14th, 2014, 04:22 PM	#8686
Jonno71 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Right here... Right now. Posts: 1,497 Thanks: 8,831 Thanked 75,964 Times in 1,503 Posts	My mate said he had got himself a cracking holiday deal today where for £1,270 you can have a holiday that lasts not only 7 months but you also get paid holiday pay from work for that length of time, free health and medical care while everyone waits on you. It’s called the MICHAEL SCUMAKER SKIING ADVENTURE package.

October 15th, 2014, 11:08 AM	#8687
Jonno71 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Right here... Right now. Posts: 1,497 Thanks: 8,831 Thanked 75,964 Times in 1,503 Posts	My girlfriend asks me every single day what her best feature is. After two years I have come to the conclusion it’s her perseverance.

October 17th, 2014, 10:51 AM	#8690
Jeff Vader Moderator (Retired) Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cheam AKA the land of Cheese and Canals Posts: 6,352 Thanks: 156,898 Thanked 140,031 Times in 6,511 Posts	I was given a very expensive looking camera as a gift today. They were foreign tourists, so I didn't understand the rest, but it was still a nice gesture. __________________ Please read the To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Model ID To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. :