Little things in life that make you happy.

[PatentHappy]

Sometimes I fall asleep...while my wife's yelling at me. She usually knows what to do.

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by PatentHappy

Sometimes I fall asleep...while my wife is yelling at me. She usually knows what to do.

Yell louder
Spike your beer
Clean the house

[PatentHappy]

Someone called me passive-aggressive for being nice to jerks. I look at it as choosing to not be manipulated by someone's rudeness...which not only surprises them, but frequently gets them angrier. Yup, I guess that is passive-aggressive. All I know is it feels too good to stop because I win either way. Sometimes, they respond kindly (win). Sometimes I get them upset instead of them, me (bigger win).

Remember kids: Stay...Off...Rudeness. Rudeness keeps both your salary and girl-count low.

[footstep]

When my latest son (7 months) falls asleep!

[PatentHappy]

Murphy's Law dictates that I will accidentally upset my wife just before we both have to go somewhere in the car. She's so angry she jerks the seat belt too hard so it locks before fully retracted. She rapidly repeats the sequence which keeps re-locking it. She yells at me because 'the seat belt's broken' while I calmly attempt to explain how the inertial locking mechanism works.

Me: "Maybe a littler slower this time, honey."
Her: "I AM!"

I try my best to stifle a laugh because the scene is painfully funny (picture a registered rageaholic with a record of violence toward inanimate objects).

Those are some of my best days. You can't buy humor like that...but you have to pay with a lot of bitten lips.

[Roubignol]

Going to bed early and wake up early to listen at the birds.

[Roubignol]

Originally Posted by thunderfly

Having a day without pain in my knees would be good.

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

Amen Brother,I've got arthritis in both..

I worked with an old miner, who told me that due to arthrosis, he had to remove his both knees and put "artificial" ones in something that look like "teflon".
According to him, he never suffered again after his operation, while before it, he sometimes was unable to sleep.
My older cousin change his ankle in the same way. He was unable to walk and a few monthes after the operation, we made long walk in the mountains together.

Did you speak to maybe put artificial joints with your doctor?

[PatentHappy]

Originally Posted by bloke57

I was sorting out my garage when out rushed a couple of rats...I hate bastard rats! What if they got in the house!!!??

Out of nowhere and like lightning, the cat leapt into action - within seconds one under his paw and the other between his teeth. A couple of whacks with a trowel later and no need to spend money on the problem.

He's now enjoying a treat of raw liver...might just buy him a superhero cape to wear.

I'm not normally a fan of cats that don't go by the name of Julie Newmar, but yours sir...that's the kind of cat you don't eat all at once. (Obscure reference to the farmer's pig that saved the life of several members of his family from a house fire...
Q: "But how did it lose its leg?"
A: "A pig like that, you just don't eat all at once.")

[PatentHappy]

15 minutes after I've taken 2 Excedrin to stave off a migraine, its caffeine kicks in. What usually follows is a non-stop, involuntary (but welcome) brain-storming session of ideas, inventions, and well-turned-phrase-wanna-be wording to the family member in closest proximity.

I usually shoot for endearingly annoying, but settle for mid-wit. The caffeine buzz can last an hour...or until I hear the familiar 'you're not funny, dad'.

I repeat my mantra: "They only respond if they love you." That's when I know I'm in my zone.

[otokonomidori]

Dreaming I'm having a fag !