Post your corny jokes - Page 1217

Aaron · April 25th, 2017, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bp666

I've got a job as part of a human chess board.

I'm on knights this week.

The king of jokes has pawned off a stinker. I feel rooked.

SOMEbody had to say it!

**bloke57** · April 25th, 2017, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bp666

I've got a job as part of a human chess board.

I'm on knights this week.

I heard you'd had a chequered career.

**Mal Hombre** · April 25th, 2017, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bp666

I've got a job as part of a human chess board.

I'm on knights this week.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aaron

The king of jokes has pawned off a stinker. I feel rooked.

SOMEbody had to say it!

It degenerated into a fight and I ended up bashing the bishop..

**ruffroundedges** · April 26th, 2017, 02:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

It degenerated into a fight and I ended up bashing the bishop..

Did you beat it single handedly?

**ruffroundedges** · April 26th, 2017, 02:15 AM

What do you call it when Batman skips out on the cheque?

- A Christian Bail

Do you think all the Christian Bale fans out there have Ben Afflekted by the new Batman?

When is The Joker not plotting a murder?
- When he's riding his Harley.

When does Poison Ivy change her underpants?
- When they get soiled!

Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting & wanted to go out & party so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club & pick up some girls. Batman said Robin was ill & he had to look after him. A little disappointed, Superman called Spider-man to see if wanted to grab a couple of beers. Spiderman told him he had a date with Catwoman. As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonderwoman's apartment to see If she was free. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Woman naked on the bed with her legs open. Superman thought to himself "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I could be in there, have sex & out again before she knew what was happening." So Superman did his super thing in a split second & flies off happily. Meanwhile on the bed, Wonder woman said "Did you hear anything?"
"NO"! said the Invisible Man, "But my ass hurts like hell!"

**bp666** · April 26th, 2017, 07:22 AM

My boss said to me, “You're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?”

I said, “I'm not sure, it's hard to keep track.”

**bp666** · April 27th, 2017, 08:40 AM

What do you call a hippy's wife?

Mississippi.

**bp666** · April 27th, 2017, 08:58 PM

A man appeared in court today and pleaded guilty to damaging a library book by using Correction Fluid on all the full stops.

He's expecting a long sentence...

**Mal Hombre** · April 27th, 2017, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bp666

A man appeared in court today and pleaded guilty to damaging a library book by using Correction Fluid on all the full stops.

He's expecting a long sentence...

He'll be spending a period in jail..

**ruffroundedges** · April 27th, 2017, 09:23 PM

- What season is it when you are on a trampoline?
Spring time.

- If you had 5 oranges in one hand and 5 pears in the other hand, what would you have?
Massive hands.

- How did the beaver get online?
He logged on.

- I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.

- What do bumblebees put in the bathtub first?
Their bee-hinds.

- Did you hear the story about the ceiling?
I'm afraid it's over your head.

- Did you hear the story about the unsharpened pencil?
There's really no point to it.

April 26th, 2017, 02:15 AM	#12165
ruffroundedges Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: In a cave, havn't you been paying attention? Posts: 5,198 Thanks: 79,034 Thanked 95,993 Times in 5,282 Posts	What do you call it when Batman skips out on the cheque? - A Christian Bail Do you think all the Christian Bale fans out there have Ben Afflekted by the new Batman? When is The Joker not plotting a murder? - When he's riding his Harley. When does Poison Ivy change her underpants? - When they get soiled! Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting & wanted to go out & party so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club & pick up some girls. Batman said Robin was ill & he had to look after him. A little disappointed, Superman called Spider-man to see if wanted to grab a couple of beers. Spiderman told him he had a date with Catwoman. As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonderwoman's apartment to see If she was free. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Woman naked on the bed with her legs open. Superman thought to himself "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I could be in there, have sex & out again before she knew what was happening." So Superman did his super thing in a split second & flies off happily. Meanwhile on the bed, Wonder woman said "Did you hear anything?" "NO"! said the Invisible Man, "But my ass hurts like hell!" __________________ Pull my finger..... To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

April 27th, 2017, 09:23 PM	#12170
ruffroundedges Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: In a cave, havn't you been paying attention? Posts: 5,198 Thanks: 79,034 Thanked 95,993 Times in 5,282 Posts	- What season is it when you are on a trampoline? Spring time. - If you had 5 oranges in one hand and 5 pears in the other hand, what would you have? Massive hands. - How did the beaver get online? He logged on. - I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork. - What do bumblebees put in the bathtub first? Their bee-hinds. - Did you hear the story about the ceiling? I'm afraid it's over your head. - Did you hear the story about the unsharpened pencil? There's really no point to it. __________________ Pull my finger..... To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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April 26th, 2017, 07:22 AM	#12166
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	My boss said to me, “You're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?” I said, “I'm not sure, it's hard to keep track.”

April 27th, 2017, 08:40 AM	#12167
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	What do you call a hippy's wife? Mississippi.

April 27th, 2017, 08:58 PM	#12168
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,520 Thanked 14,183 Times in 1,074 Posts	A man appeared in court today and pleaded guilty to damaging a library book by using Correction Fluid on all the full stops. He's expecting a long sentence...