Lewd Limericks - Page 11

spandrel · August 25th, 2010, 05:42 PM

There was a young girl from Aberystwyth
Who took grain to the mill to make grist with
The millers son, Jack
Laid her flat on her back
And united the organs they pissed with

IvanHardonUK · August 26th, 2010, 03:43 PM

There once was a lady from Exeter
So pretty that men cranes their necks at her
And some were so brave
As to take out and wave
The distinguishing mark of their sex at her.

To his girl said the lynx eyed detective
Could it be that me eyes are defective?
Has your east tit the least bit
The best of your west tit?
Or is it a trick of perspective?

david3731 · August 31st, 2010, 07:36 AM

Slid into the kitchen, slid too far
Stuck my dick up Grandma's ass
Got it in the kitchen, got it in the hall
Got it on my fingers, and slung it on the walls !

david3731 · September 12th, 2010, 03:07 AM

There once was a man from Nantucket who's dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin, if my ear was a cunt I could fuck it !

**Clouddancer** · September 12th, 2010, 04:11 PM

There was a young man from Devizes
whose balls were two different sizes
one was so small it was no ball at all
The other so large it won prizes

**Clouddancer** · September 12th, 2010, 04:16 PM

There was once a young lady called Horton
Who had one long tit & one short one
To make up for yhe loss,
she had a cunt like a hoss (horse)
And a fart like a 500 Norton

sueryan · September 18th, 2010, 03:39 PM

It is purely co-incidental that that the Catholic church is involved in inquiries regarding the abuse of young boys and that Pope Benedict is in Birmingham UK this weekend.

There once was a bishop from Birmingham
Who buggered young boys while confirming 'em
He would kneel on his hassock
and lift up his cassock
And pump the episcopal sperm in 'em

sueryan · September 18th, 2010, 05:48 PM

The most eminent Duchess of Howell
examined a turd from her bowel.
She said, rather miffed,
"I don't think I've sniffed
anything so foetid nor foul"

sueryan · September 19th, 2010, 08:52 AM

There was a young lady from Neath
She circumcised cocks with her teeth
Twas not for the treasure
Nor sexual pleasure
But to get at the cheese underneath

sueryan · September 19th, 2010, 08:57 AM

There once was a man from Newcastle
who received a brown paper parcel
In it was shit,
and on it was writ,
a present from somebody's arsehole...

September 12th, 2010, 04:11 PM	#105
Clouddancer Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Spain - Costa Blanca Posts: 811 Thanks: 10,238 Thanked 11,624 Times in 809 Posts	Young Man from Devizes There was a young man from Devizes whose balls were two different sizes one was so small it was no ball at all The other so large it won prizes __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. [Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner.

September 12th, 2010, 04:16 PM	#106
Clouddancer Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Spain - Costa Blanca Posts: 811 Thanks: 10,238 Thanked 11,624 Times in 809 Posts	There was once a young lady called Horton Who had one long tit & one short one To make up for yhe loss, she had a cunt like a hoss (horse) And a fart like a 500 Norton __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. [Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner.

September 18th, 2010, 03:39 PM	#107
sueryan Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 41 Thanks: 160 Thanked 336 Times in 31 Posts	Bishop of Birmingham It is purely co-incidental that that the Catholic church is involved in inquiries regarding the abuse of young boys and that Pope Benedict is in Birmingham UK this weekend. There once was a bishop from Birmingham Who buggered young boys while confirming 'em He would kneel on his hassock and lift up his cassock And pump the episcopal sperm in 'em

September 18th, 2010, 05:48 PM	#108
sueryan Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 41 Thanks: 160 Thanked 336 Times in 31 Posts	The Duchess of Howell The most eminent Duchess of Howell examined a turd from her bowel. She said, rather miffed, "I don't think I've sniffed anything so foetid nor foul"

September 19th, 2010, 08:52 AM	#109
sueryan Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 41 Thanks: 160 Thanked 336 Times in 31 Posts	oung lady from Neath There was a young lady from Neath She circumcised cocks with her teeth Twas not for the treasure Nor sexual pleasure But to get at the cheese underneath

August 25th, 2010, 05:42 PM	#101
spandrel Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 168 Thanks: 2,091 Thanked 5,298 Times in 172 Posts	There was a young girl from Aberystwyth Who took grain to the mill to make grist with The millers son, Jack Laid her flat on her back And united the organs they pissed with

August 26th, 2010, 03:43 PM	#102
IvanHardonUK Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 2 Thanks: 509 Thanked 23 Times in 2 Posts	There once was a lady from Exeter So pretty that men cranes their necks at her And some were so brave As to take out and wave The distinguishing mark of their sex at her. To his girl said the lynx eyed detective Could it be that me eyes are defective? Has your east tit the least bit The best of your west tit? Or is it a trick of perspective?

August 31st, 2010, 07:36 AM	#103
david3731 Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 76 Thanks: 286 Thanked 819 Times in 67 Posts	Slid into the kitchen, slid too far Stuck my dick up Grandma's ass Got it in the kitchen, got it in the hall Got it on my fingers, and slung it on the walls !

September 12th, 2010, 03:07 AM	#104
david3731 Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 76 Thanks: 286 Thanked 819 Times in 67 Posts	There once was a man from Nantucket who's dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin, if my ear was a cunt I could fuck it !

September 19th, 2010, 08:57 AM	#110
sueryan Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 41 Thanks: 160 Thanked 336 Times in 31 Posts	Man from Newcastle There once was a man from Newcastle who received a brown paper parcel In it was shit, and on it was writ, a present from somebody's arsehole... Last edited by sueryan; October 2nd, 2010 at 07:49 AM.. Reason: typo