|
Best Porn Sites | Live Sex | Register | FAQ | Members List | Calendar | Mark Forums Read |
Funnies Got a joke or something funny that you want to share? Post it here! |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
August 26th, 2015, 11:31 PM | #10021 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Elm Street
Posts: 9,401
Thanks: 165,774
Thanked 114,810 Times in 9,416 Posts
|
I just heard on the news that they have uncovered a new pyramid in Egypt. Inside they found a grave with a mummy inside. The mummy is covered in what looks like chocolate and crushed hazelnuts, wrapped up in very shiny gold foil. Egyptologists think they have found the remains of Pharoah Roche
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator? |
The Following 21 Users Say Thank You to mrfixit For This Useful Post: |
August 28th, 2015, 02:50 AM | #10022 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Location: Location
Posts: 3,583
Thanks: 37,920
Thanked 127,769 Times in 3,570 Posts
|
A blonde decides to try horseback riding even though she has had neither lessons nor prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the horse’s side anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup; she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune… Frank, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.
|
The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to photoflex For This Useful Post: |
August 28th, 2015, 02:16 PM | #10023 |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Santee, Ca
Posts: 60,813
Thanks: 281,805
Thanked 813,771 Times in 60,861 Posts
|
Q. What do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates?
A. A tearjerker. Q. What do a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common? A. A wet nose. Q. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? A. Gagged |
The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to SanteeFats For This Useful Post: |
August 28th, 2015, 03:59 PM | #10024 |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Santee, Ca
Posts: 60,813
Thanks: 281,805
Thanked 813,771 Times in 60,861 Posts
|
So, I was walking through a local mall and came upon a "Mexican Book
Store." Never having seen one before, I went in. As I was wandering around, a clerk asked if he could help me find something. I asked, "Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book about his proposed immigration policy regarding Mexicans?" The clerk said, "Fuck you, get out and stay out!" I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?" |
The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to SanteeFats For This Useful Post: |
August 28th, 2015, 09:34 PM | #10025 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 7
Thanks: 5
Thanked 34 Times in 4 Posts
|
Look, in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it an unrealistic comic book character?
Oh; it's a bird. |
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to akabob For This Useful Post: |
August 29th, 2015, 02:15 PM | #10026 |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Santee, Ca
Posts: 60,813
Thanks: 281,805
Thanked 813,771 Times in 60,861 Posts
|
Q. Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A. So men can be open minded. Q. What do you call a virgin on a water bed? A. A cherry float. Q. What’s the difference between men and government bonds? A. Bonds mature. |
August 29th, 2015, 06:17 PM | #10027 |
Veteran Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 3,234
Thanks: 19,879
Thanked 69,306 Times in 3,171 Posts
|
I took one of those pills that makes a man think like a woman. I was in a right strop down the pub. One of my mates was wearing the same T shirt as me.
|
The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to gedly For This Useful Post: |
August 30th, 2015, 12:12 AM | #10028 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Somewhere flat, that's either hot, cold, or windy ... Canada?
Posts: 1,966
Thanks: 42,100
Thanked 21,351 Times in 1,903 Posts
|
|
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to electile disfunction For This Useful Post: |
August 30th, 2015, 01:31 AM | #10029 |
Vintage Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Elm Street
Posts: 9,401
Thanks: 165,774
Thanked 114,810 Times in 9,416 Posts
|
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.' A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...' After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.' Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.' Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed. The wife says, 'What the hell was that?' The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator? |
The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to mrfixit For This Useful Post: |
August 30th, 2015, 01:40 PM | #10030 |
Super Moderator
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Santee, Ca
Posts: 60,813
Thanks: 281,805
Thanked 813,771 Times in 60,861 Posts
|
High School
Graduation in Detroit Darqueeze played high school football in Detroit. He was a great running back, but a really poor student. At graduation, he didn't have enough credits. But he was a great football star and the students held a rally and demanded the principal give him a diploma anyway. They were so insistent that the principal agreed that if Darqueeze could answer one question correctly he would give him a diploma. The one question test was held in the auditorium and all the students packed the place. It was standing room only. The principal was on the stage and told him to come up. Diploma in hand, the principal said: "Darqueeze, if you can answer this one question correctly I'll give you your diploma." "Darqueeze, how much is three times seven?" Darqueeze looked up at the ceiling and then down at his shoes, pondering the question. The other students began chanting, "Graduate him anyway! Graduate him anyway!" Then Darqueez held up his hand and the auditorium became silent. He said, "I think I know the answer. Three times seven is twenty-one." A hush fell over the auditorium and then all the other students began to chant: "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!" |
The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to SanteeFats For This Useful Post: |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|