Stupid movie cliches and impossibilities

[eelcat]

Hero walks into a Monte Carlo casino and goes to hugely popular roulette wheel and immediately places a bet at 33 to 1. After collecting his 5 grand he then meets his very beautiful contact and moves on to the next scene. This applies not only to Bond or the Saint

[dickerbetwixt]

Man picks up binoculars, tv screen immediately gains a black binocular shaped surround so you can see what he is seeing, hmmm.

[Tmee2020]

Originally Posted by palo5

It might sound strange, but I have read that one of Hitler's headquarters had a self-destruct facility, or at least had one planned

They definitely did palo, I can confirm this.
The inmates!

[scoundrel]

The First Law of Action Movies.

If you are an intruder in occupied enemy buildings:

• Doors are never locked.
• There is always a corner or an empty room strategically placed to hide you exactly when you need to hide.
• Floorboards do not creak
• Your feet do not make noise.
• You can traverse snow without leaving compromising tracks to show that you have entered the building.

The Second Law of Action Movies.

When you need to kill people:

• You can stab them and they will not scream or cry out before dying. Their arterial blood will not project in a gushing arc all over your clothes.
• You can shoot them in the throat or the abdomen and they die immediately, without making a noise.
• It’s not difficult or strenuous to carry their dead bodies around.
• Even if you need to leave their bodies strewn around like litter, their mortal remains will not be prematurely discovered.
• As soon as you commence hostilities, a magical transformation turns you into the energizer bunny. You can climb precipices, carry dead bodies, shove cars over cliffs and keep on doing it indefinitely without getting tired.
• Pistols and machine pistols fired from very unstable platforms such a stagecoach, the back of a horse or a fast moving vehicle are more accurate than rifles or heavy automatic weapons fired from prepared defensive positions.
• Men placed in prepared defensive positions get killed, whereas men fighting in the open without cover and with inferior weapons walk away from the skirmish unharmed.

The Third Law of Action Movies.

When you need to burgle premises in order to gather intelligence:

• Extremely sensitive and compromising documents are always easy to find. I wish my own passport was always as easily located.
• It’s quite easy to be in exactly the right place and at exactly the right time in order to overhear the enemies discussing critically important stuff and share knowledge you need in order to thwart them.

Supplementary Regulations To Be Observed.

• Cars explode for no particular reason when you shove them into the sea or into quarries and the like.
• No matter what the characteristics of the vehicle and regardless of whether you have ever even seen one like it in your life, it is very easy to take the vehicle without the owner’s consent and control it with expertise.

[redfive]

you forgot the fourth law of action movies Scoundrel which is:

'The hero never ever runs out of amunition and never suffers a mis-fire or jam at a critical moment'.

[Drella]

-Busy, overworked woman who has no time for anything. (see Law & Order SVU, Raising Helen, and so on). Her male counterparts are out golfing, having dinner with their loved ones, etc., but our female protagonist just doesn't have the time! There are cases needing to be reviewed! She will likely die of a stress-induced heart attack, all alone, and be eaten by her 13 cats. She'll be found hunched over a stack of files, with one leg draped across the mannequin who became her male "companion" (let's face it -she's too hectic a lady to find love).

-Indignant man on the phone who is on a time crunch. Literally every action movie as some sweaty policeman/scientist who yells, "Damn it, we're running out of time!" Then, he sternly asks some nearby underling to get him someone else on the line (the president, in many cases) as he removes his glasses in frustration and wipes his brow on the sleeve of his white oxford button down.

-Uncommonly hot girl glasses, a messy bun, and overalls = ugly/geek (e.g., Rachael Lee Cook in "She's All That"). Then, she rips off the wire frame glasses and slips on a halter dress, and BAM! Super desirable vixen. Everyone else sees the girl as hot regardless of what she wears, but we're to believe that everyone in that fictional high school is blind and stupid. Perhaps that isn't such a big stretch, come to think of it...

[gmcbee]

Guys on bikes never cinch the helmet strap down. Or when they take it off, just a
quick *tweak* loosens the strap. Last time I rode, you had to weave the strap through
a couple of D rings. Has that changed?

[MayfairFan]

Originally Posted by HugoHackenbush

See also "Alien". Why would a perfectly good spaceship come equipped with a self destruct mechanism? Did they have that feature on the Apollo missions?

Yes - all* large rockets have abort/destruct sequences designed in to avoid the possibility of a crash into a populated area if it starts to divert from the flight plan. The crew capsule is separated and towed free from the rest of the rocket by the 'escape tower', which is that extra pointy bit on the very top - it's a small but powerful solid rocket booster that's capable of out-accelerating the main rocket , just for long enough to get clear. Used just once as far as I know, in a Russian launch - the crew survived although they were subjected to near-fatal G-forces and suffered internal injuries.

(*All that is apart from the Space Shuttle, which is the most expensive and dangerous form of transport ever built per passenger carried.)

[squigg58]

People who phone someone to say they have something important to tell them ... but don't tell them! Instead, they arrange a meeting to tell them what they could have told them on the phone!

Of course, they usually claim they can't speak on the phone ... implying it's bugged ... but all they've done is alert those listening to the fact that they have important information and will (for example) be waiting by the news kiosk at the station in half an hour's time! Doh!

[bennie001]

Originally Posted by bawjaws

Just on a kinda off topic note ..I heard Angelina Jolie in an interview today saying how she had did her own stunts in her new movie.She's not alone Many actors claim they do their own stunts. Fact is they would never be allowed to do any stunts on a movie ..no insurance company would take them on and the producers would never allow their movie to be held up should the "star" get hurt.Doing their own stunts usually means just jumping off a low chair onto a big mattress in front of a green screen

Will say one thing Jackie Chan