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June 5th, 2019, 05:16 PM | #14771 |
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They changed the name of my pub to 'The John Berkow'.
There are only reruns of unruly sittings of the chamber to be seen on screens, and every time he yells 'order', you have to do just that.
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June 5th, 2019, 07:56 PM | #14772 |
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It used to be called "The John Holmes",You didn't dare ask for a large one....
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June 6th, 2019, 12:57 PM | #14773 |
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A programmer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it into his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The programmer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want." Again the programmer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What's the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The programmer said, "Look I'm a programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend-- but a talking frog, now that's cool." |
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June 6th, 2019, 01:22 PM | #14774 |
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June 6th, 2019, 05:38 PM | #14775 |
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June 6th, 2019, 07:41 PM | #14776 | |
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Quote:
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June 6th, 2019, 10:45 PM | #14777 |
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What I want to know
...is can orphans eat at a family restaurant? |
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June 6th, 2019, 11:06 PM | #14778 |
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I would make a joke about My carpet but it would be beneath Me....
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June 7th, 2019, 11:26 AM | #14779 |
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My nanna use to say 'Knock Knock' and us kids would say 'Who's there nanna?'
Then she'd say, 'I've forgotten'...and start to cry Last edited by Sir Honkers; June 7th, 2019 at 11:31 AM.. |
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June 7th, 2019, 11:37 AM | #14780 |
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Doctor: You're obese.
- Patient: For that I definitely want a second opinion. - Doctor: You’re quite ugly, too.
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