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September 16th, 2018, 10:30 PM | #13841 |
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September 17th, 2018, 02:19 PM | #13842 |
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My conspiracy theory is that the government hired Stanley Kubrick to fake the moon landings, but he was such a perfectionist that he demanded they film on location
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September 17th, 2018, 02:27 PM | #13843 |
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September 17th, 2018, 05:26 PM | #13844 |
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Credit to Ronnie Corbett
"My producer said to me Ronnie luvvy, why don't you tell that joke you told at the BBC Christmas party" so here goes. A young boy comes into his mother's room and on hearing her approaching decides to hide in the wardrobe nearby. He gets in and sits down waiting for his mother to leave. Eventually she does and he looks around and says "Coo isn;t it dark in here" upon which he is startled to find a man hiding in there not wearing much clothing. The man looks at the kid and gestures for him to be quiet but the kid isn't having any of it and threatens to shout out but the man says okay here if I give you five pounds will you promise not to say anything. The kid nods and accepts the money. A few days later he and his mother are entering a church and the kid spots the confession box and goes off to investigate. He opens the ornate wooden door on one side and peers in, then goes inside and pulls the curtain across. He sits down but then hears someone else behind a screen entering through the other door. He looks around and exclaims "Coo, isn't it dark in here" and on the other side of the hatch a voice says "Oh no! Not you again" (cue Ronnie leaning forward to applause from audience) Okay I did this from memory so it might not be word for word but its a funny story/joke.
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There was only ONE Greenman, and you accepted no substitutes! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Rest in peace MaxJoker-you will be sorely missed. 20,000: Milestone reached!
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September 17th, 2018, 08:53 PM | #13845 |
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You ever wonder what congressmen do for a living…?
-Unknowncomic |
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September 17th, 2018, 10:31 PM | #13846 |
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September 18th, 2018, 03:20 PM | #13847 |
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September 19th, 2018, 11:49 AM | #13848 |
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You'd think it would be easy to find lost luggage at the airport. That's not the case.
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September 19th, 2018, 11:52 AM | #13849 |
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I finally found my spirit guide today after many years of intense searching.
He's great - his name is Philip and he works at Liquor King. Got me a great deal on a case of vodka. I'll see him again next week. |
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September 19th, 2018, 11:59 AM | #13850 |
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I went into a pet store the other day checking out birdcages. I asked if they had any birdcages made out of nickel. They said no only aluminium. I pointed at one and said so this is a nickeless cage.
I'm not welcome there anymore. |
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