Excuses for anything - Page 3

**RjG57** · May 17th, 2013, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Estreeter

A good excuse for not wanting sex

I just ate, gotta wait a while

I was thinking more along the lines of......................

'I don't have a paper bag handy'

but thinking of the consequences that would result I thought maybe something else would be more appropriate.

MaxJoker · May 17th, 2013, 01:00 PM

Shitting your pants when on a first date,

1) I was finding it so interesting listening to your entire life story i was loathe to leave the table and break your train of consciousness.

2) Well you started talking about children and i wanted to see what the baby might look like, if it took after you.

3) Hey i didn`t bring my wallet, so how else do you think i`m going to get the management to demand i leave without paying.

**billybunter** · May 17th, 2013, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

Shitting your pants when on a first date,

I know a guy who was cooking dinner for his new girl. He thought it would be funny to cock his leg and fart. He had white jeans on, use your imagination on what happened.

Estreeter · May 17th, 2013, 02:56 PM

Excuse for drink driving

Well, The engine runs on alcohol, So officer, It seems only fair the driver does also

That'll never work

**billybunter** · May 17th, 2013, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Estreeter

Excuse for drink driving

Well, The engine runs on alcohol, So officer, It seems only fair the driver does also

That'll never work

You are the VEF waste management boss.

**MrInBetween** · May 17th, 2013, 11:18 PM

Just finished watching Ted (well, our 11-year old stays up very late). Mark Wahlberg arrives late at the office, after he's been smoking pot with his teddy bear.

Boss: John, it's almost 10:00.

Mark Wahlberg: I know, sir. I'm sorry, it wasn't my fault.

Boss: What do you mean?

Mark Wahlberg: Why, I... er... I guess I wasn't really prepared for a follow-up question.

Estreeter · May 18th, 2013, 03:58 PM

Excuse for turning down sex

I can't, I won't, I'm planning on jerking off later, How am I supposed too cum later on

That'll work

**trailmaster** · July 3rd, 2016, 11:33 AM

One common excuse that some kids use when they can't give the teacher their homework assignment is " The dog ate my homework". I was always a good student. I always turned in my assignments. They may not have been that good, but I always turned them in.

May 17th, 2013, 01:00 PM	#22
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Excuses for anything Shitting your pants when on a first date, 1) I was finding it so interesting listening to your entire life story i was loathe to leave the table and break your train of consciousness. 2) Well you started talking about children and i wanted to see what the baby might look like, if it took after you. 3) Hey i didn`t bring my wallet, so how else do you think i`m going to get the management to demand i leave without paying. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 17th, 2013, 02:56 PM	#24
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,843 Times in 60,322 Posts	Excuse for drink driving Well, The engine runs on alcohol, So officer, It seems only fair the driver does also That'll never work __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 17th, 2013, 11:18 PM	#26
MrInBetween R.I.P. Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 3,934 Thanks: 51,364 Thanked 48,453 Times in 3,898 Posts	Under-researched excuse Just finished watching Ted (well, our 11-year old stays up very late). Mark Wahlberg arrives late at the office, after he's been smoking pot with his teddy bear. Boss: John, it's almost 10:00. Mark Wahlberg: I know, sir. I'm sorry, it wasn't my fault. Boss: What do you mean? Mark Wahlberg: Why, I... er... I guess I wasn't really prepared for a follow-up question. __________________ I'm sorry Gentlemen, that's all the lipstick around the nipple we have time for To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 18th, 2013, 03:58 PM	#27
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,843 Times in 60,322 Posts	Excuse for turning down sex I can't, I won't, I'm planning on jerking off later, How am I supposed too cum later on That'll work __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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July 3rd, 2016, 11:33 AM	#28
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,895 Thanks: 1,328,998 Thanked 707,205 Times in 60,069 Posts	One common excuse that some kids use when they can't give the teacher their homework assignment is " The dog ate my homework". I was always a good student. I always turned in my assignments. They may not have been that good, but I always turned them in.