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Old February 21st, 2015, 07:10 AM   #501
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Why do women have more brain cells than cows?
So they don't shit on the floor when you play with their tits.

What's got 4 arms and 2 legs?
The Pistorius brothers.


I helped a little old lady with a zimmer frame cross the road today.
The car next to me even joined in as I honked my horn repeatedly.

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Old February 21st, 2015, 07:23 AM   #502
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A fire has ripped through the Torch skyscraper in Dubai, one of the tallest residential buildings in the world.

And also one of the most appropriately named buildings in the world.
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Old February 21st, 2015, 01:16 PM   #503
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Last night, I was getting ready to leave my friend's place, bundling up for the subzero temperatures. He said I looked like an Arab woman with my black hood and black scarf. I asked if we really had to go into twisted sick joke that'll send us all to hell. Realizing we did, I said that I didn't look like an Arab woman as they have thicker beards than I do.
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Old February 21st, 2015, 06:28 PM   #504
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Doc to an Alzheimer's patient : 'I'm sorry, you have cancer.'
Alzheimer's patient : 'Thank God, no cancer!'

Last edited by Nobody1; February 21st, 2015 at 06:38 PM..
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Old February 22nd, 2015, 03:35 AM   #505
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My favorite sex position is the "JFK".

I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.
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Old February 22nd, 2015, 05:54 PM   #506
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Grandma's last words were, "Will you pull the…"

So I pulled the plug and then she was gone.

Sometimes I wonder if she was going to say, "curtains."
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Old March 6th, 2015, 03:13 PM   #507
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What’s the difference between a female Arab and a pilchard ?.
One’s ugly, stinky , greasy with bulging eyes.

The other`s a fish.

What did God say after he made the first black man ?.

"Christ, I burnt one."


Why did Anne Frank never finish her second diary ?.

Concentration problems.
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Old March 7th, 2015, 12:04 AM   #508
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There's a long-standing, untrue rumour that Muslims are forbidden to use toilet paper.

It probably stemmed from the fact that they're not allowed to make images of Mohammed
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Old March 7th, 2015, 02:34 PM   #509
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My girlfriend is a porn star.

She is going to be so pissed off when she finds out
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Old March 7th, 2015, 02:43 PM   #510
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I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, "Please, think of my children!"

Kinky bitch
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