Injuries you've caused yourself...

[SanteeFats]

I have over 50 scars on my arms from all kinds of dumb stuff I have done over my lifetime. Falls, cuts, scrapes, you name it I have it. Some are small but several are 2-3 inches or more in length. I must admit that I never took a lot of care when I did landscaping or other outdoor work but still.

[nckgmd]

When I was about 19 my back was playing up... Very painful. I went to the doctor he gave me a mild dose of an anti inflammatory and told me to get someone to massage a heat rub into my lower spine. He said Dencorub or Goanna Oil (for anyone who don't know Goanna Oil is like baby oil but EXTREMELY HOT).. I went home and got the Goanna Oil. Now I must admit I'm a bit of a loner and I had no one to rub the Goanna Oil into my spine, so I thought I'd do it myself.. Got a BIG handful and slapped it on. While rubbing away I felt some excess rolling down my spine. It followed the spine all the way down, then further down and then into the butt crack. It was when it entered the butt crack and rolled all the way down to my anus that I knew I had PROBLEMS... It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. Forget the pain in my spine it was like rubbing pure chilli's onto my arse. Even showering did not quench the fire...

[lagerlout]

Way too many to mention....

Too dumb to listen properly to mate trying to teach me to use his hang glider after a big night, thinking I knew it all & how hard can this be ?. Some how got my feet caught up as I was coming back to earth and hit chest first and broke every rib plus the sternum bone [ This hurts like fuck cos every time you breathe it moves ]

When I was 17 the lads [ Bastards] I worked with who knew I wasn't real keen on heights waited till on was on the back of the semi trailer hooking chains attached to a crane around a load of pipe then hoisted me 30 mtrs in the air, They thought I was screaming from fear but actually the pipes had rolled and were crushing my steelcaps into my toes. Toenails grew back wrong and I spent years getting them ripped out 2 or 3 times a year. Finally this year found a Podiatrist who knew their job properly and killed the nail bed off properly. Getting toes nails ripped out is NOT FUN.
This happened today I'd get a HUGE payout, I got 3 weeks on full pay ;(

Came off my " worked " bike getting chased by the police, they later estimated I was doing 120-130 miles an hour & figured I was dead - 2 months in hospital and 4 in Rehab Cancelled license for 3 years. $300 fine which was huge back then. Bike written off.

Missed the last train home one drunken night, jumped on a goods train as it slowed down through Central and tried to jump off at my station, only it hadn't slowed down at all . hit the ash-felt, cartwheeled several times, broke a shoulder and gravel rash down both sides, clothes torn to shred and lost a shoe. Staggered home, flat mates faces was almost worth it

[KissArmy]

I was about 10 years old, playing in the lake. Our boat was anchored nearby and on a short rope. I went over, picked the anchor off the lake bottom, and heaved it. The rope went taut immediately, the anchor doubled back, and struck me in the forehead. Bled like a stuck pig.

[pharoahegypt]

Ignoring older scars and scrapes..... I cause myself injury most days; as fixing laptops is not as white collar as it might sound.... Sharp edges to screen bezels, ditto base unit plastics, and don't even begin to think about sharp edges of wafer thin mother boards...!!

If I don't end the day with at least two cut finger tips, and the odd deeper laceration on one of my hands, then it's clearly been a quiet day in the shop...!!

[Marcsimus]

I used to play 5 a side football a lot,one game a guy got past me,so I tracked back & got myself slightly in front of him but to one side. As I put my right foot down I trod on the ball,my ankle folded 90 degrees inwards & then 90 degrees outwards. The ligaments didn't snap,just stretched......the Paramedic said it would have been better if the ligaments had snapped. When the ankle was X-rayed it turned out I had chipped the bone as well!

I was in a cast for three days & the bruising went from my toes to my knee.

12 weeks of physio later I went back to football & did near enough the same thing again!

[Soapbox]

Paper cuts every week at the office.

[scoundrel]

Originally Posted by Soapbox

Paper cuts every week at the office.

Don't forget to write them into the injury book at work.

[spartaneric]

A Couple:

My senior year in high school, I was home alone on a weekend and was practicing roundhouse kicks (I don't know karate). Anyway, I brought my leg down wrong and dislocated my knee. After laying on the floor for a minute staring at my lopsided knee, I gave it a nudge and popped in back into place. Hurt like hell!

As a kid at my childhood home, we had a long circular driveway and I decided to ride my bike full tilt around it a couple times to burn off some energy. Problem is, I wasn't looking straight ahead and plowed full speed into a parents parked car. I flipped over the bike onto the hood and knocked myself clean out. I awoke on the bathroom floor to my parents cleaning the blood from my nether region. Hurt like hell!

Now, let's see what I can do next...

[vo1v0d]

Originally Posted by Spanner

It was a Wile-E.-Coyote-like action when I was a kid. I put a stone on the ground, placed a board on it and another stone on one end of the board. Then I stepped on the other end. I thought that the stone would fly away, but it hit me in the face. Result: Scar at the lower lip and the top of my right cutting tooth isn't real anymore...

This was actually the basis for a game around our way if there was not enough kids for two teams. No bowler/pitcher required, bash the rising stone with a lump of wood, and all played against eachother with no clue how to keep score. Most damage? Least injuries? It ended when an adult came out and told us to stop or fuck off elsewhere.