Reasons Why - Page 3

**keefriff** · January 27th, 2011, 06:32 PM

1. Very difficult to ogle women with the correct intensity when they are covered in seven layers of clothes.

2. Scaling Mt. Everest like snowbanks in order to put change into parking meters.

3. My penis gets even smaller when I venture outside in really cold weather.

4. Small victories such as unbridled happiness that tomorrow it may even get above freezing!

5. Twenty-three minutes of sunlight a week.

6. My natural skin color goes from "ashen" to "three week old corpse".

7. Weathermen on TV who seem to relish in our collective misery.

8. Weathermen on TV who terrorize us w/ doomsday snowstorm scenarios and super clever names like Snowzilla or Snowpacolypse.

9. Ruptured and pulled muscles from moving more snow than Tony Montana.

10. I saw a guy named Cliff with his tongue stuck on a pole.

**NIN** · January 27th, 2011, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by keefriff

10. I saw a guy named Cliff with his tongue stuck on a pole.

Most of us wouldn't have a problem with Cliff getting his face stuck to a frozen object Keef

as this picture of Cliff & Cherie Blair testifies ..

**Mal Hombre** · January 27th, 2011, 06:50 PM

More reasons the Devil exists....

**palo5** · January 27th, 2011, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by keefriff

1. Very difficult to ogle women with the correct intensity when they are covered in seven layers of clothes

True, but we still nearly always know who's interesting

Quote:

5. Twenty-three minutes of sunlight a week

Only in winter -- but in summer we have sun 24/7, so we get as much sun as everyone else

Besides, winter isn't dark because there is white snow

MaxJoker · January 28th, 2011, 04:02 PM

Reasons why i like winter

1) I can wear a big coat to hide my portliness and not be looked at as if i`m a potential shoplifter.
2) It`s always fun to see people slip over on the ice , especially if they fall into the path of oncoming traffic.
3) The hot breath steam when i exhale makes it seem like i`m smoking , so i can pretend i`m cool.
4) I finally get to use all the scarfs i was given at Christmas , by wiping the condensation of my flats windows.
5) There are less big issue sellers in the city , and those that are there tend to have died of hypothermia .
6) My mother gets a fuel allowance , so can then be asked for a non repayable loan.
7) I have an excuse to eat soup , without feeling gay.
8) I enjoy the sound of hale hitting stuff .
9) It`s slightly easier for me to walk on water

Estreeter · January 28th, 2011, 04:19 PM

Reasons why I prefer TV too females

The TV has a mute button

The TV has an off button

The TV can be controlled from a distance

You don't have to talk too your TV

You can always put the TV back in the box and take it back too the store

MaxJoker · April 9th, 2011, 09:49 PM

Reasons Why

I stand up to my girlfriend eventhough i place in jeopardy ever getting nookie again !

1) I am an idiot

End of reasons

Estreeter · April 10th, 2011, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreenSkull

Reasons Why

I stand up to my girlfriend eventhough i place in jeopardy ever getting nookie again !

1) I am an idiot

Ditto

Reasons why I moderate on the wonderful, informative forum

1, The extremely high pay I earn

2, Enjoy the benefits of being famous

3, I actually don't know

**Jeff Vader** · April 10th, 2011, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blatt

Reasons why i deserve the new job im going for

1) I would do it well and better than my former line manager

2) I wouldnt treat my staff like fresh dog turds

3) I would reorganise the main room with a sense of much missing logic , so people who work in it arent forced to sit four at a desk

4) I would let that same staff bring in personal items such as family photos and pot plants etc

5) I would bring back the water cooler that was stupidly removed to supposedly help stop people going for a wee

6) But most importantly i deserve and need the extra money this job will give me , to help fund the divorce i am looking forward to one day having

That sound like a fun place to work.
I have a manager who doesn't know diddly and believes that delegation and democracy is done using deafening decibels to try distract the fact that he's a dum-dum.

**billybunter** · April 10th, 2011, 10:17 PM

I've just found this thread.

I love you all...

January 27th, 2011, 06:32 PM	#21
keefriff Torn and Frayed Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: The 612 Posts: 7,025 Thanks: 79,624 Thanked 131,638 Times in 5,993 Posts	10 Reasons Why I Hate Winter 1. Very difficult to ogle women with the correct intensity when they are covered in seven layers of clothes. 2. Scaling Mt. Everest like snowbanks in order to put change into parking meters. 3. My penis gets even smaller when I venture outside in really cold weather. 4. Small victories such as unbridled happiness that tomorrow it may even get above freezing! 5. Twenty-three minutes of sunlight a week. 6. My natural skin color goes from "ashen" to "three week old corpse". 7. Weathermen on TV who seem to relish in our collective misery. 8. Weathermen on TV who terrorize us w/ doomsday snowstorm scenarios and super clever names like Snowzilla or Snowpacolypse. 9. Ruptured and pulled muscles from moving more snow than Tony Montana. 10. I saw a guy named Cliff with his tongue stuck on a pole. __________________ You Can't Always Get What You Want But If You Follow To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. You Just Might Find You Get What You Need To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 27th, 2011, 06:50 PM	#23
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,134 Thanks: 772,639 Thanked 855,698 Times in 57,565 Posts	More reasons the Devil exists.... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 28th, 2011, 04:02 PM	#25
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Reasons why i like winter 1) I can wear a big coat to hide my portliness and not be looked at as if i`m a potential shoplifter. 2) It`s always fun to see people slip over on the ice , especially if they fall into the path of oncoming traffic. 3) The hot breath steam when i exhale makes it seem like i`m smoking , so i can pretend i`m cool. 4) I finally get to use all the scarfs i was given at Christmas , by wiping the condensation of my flats windows. 5) There are less big issue sellers in the city , and those that are there tend to have died of hypothermia . 6) My mother gets a fuel allowance , so can then be asked for a non repayable loan. 7) I have an excuse to eat soup , without feeling gay. 8) I enjoy the sound of hale hitting stuff . 9) It`s slightly easier for me to walk on water __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 28th, 2011, 04:19 PM	#26
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,802 Times in 60,322 Posts	Reasons why I prefer TV too females The TV has a mute button The TV has an off button The TV can be controlled from a distance You don't have to talk too your TV You can always put the TV back in the box and take it back too the store __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

April 9th, 2011, 09:49 PM	#27
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	Reasons Why I stand up to my girlfriend eventhough i place in jeopardy ever getting nookie again ! 1) I am an idiot End of reasons __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

April 10th, 2011, 10:17 PM	#30
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,372 Times in 14,171 Posts	I've just found this thread. I love you all... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode