Stories: Disposing of Porn

london_manuk · July 5th, 2017, 12:04 PM

Has anyone any funny stories about disposing of porn (probably a cardinal sin on VEF !

)

---

For me, it was rather comical. I was a spotty teenager who had bought his first magazine and stored it in between the mattress and bedframe for a couple of days until the paranoia and guilt set in.

I decided that the safest (!) way to dispose of it was to tear it into little pieces and set them on fire. In a metal waste paper bin. In my bedroom.

I didn't realise how much torn paper a porno mag produces and how acrid and smoky the fumes from the various dyes and inks would be.

With the persistance of the demented, I worked my way through the whole lot - with smoke billowing out of the bedroom windows - and then realised that the bedroom and I stank of smoke.

I decided I couldn't risk an unscheduled bath as it would raise suspicions with my Mum, so I spent the rest of day as far away from members of the family as possible. Then I had to keep my Mum out of my bedroom for about a week whilst I experimented with a variety of smellies and airing the room.

The next mag just went into a public wastebin when I was out and around !

---

zuckerman · July 5th, 2017, 12:21 PM

Decided to make use of the industrial strength shredder at work to destroy a bunch of top shelf material once. Thought I was being pretty clever - quiet shift, no one to see me, etc. Forgot that even neatly cross shredded there's something about flesh mags that is instantly spottable. So when the bale of waste paper came out of the machine a few hours later some awkward questions were asked. Claimed it was all the gf's copies of Cosmo!

anglocat · July 5th, 2017, 03:45 PM

I didn't really accumulate a porn "stash" of any great consequence until my late teens. When the time came to dispose of said stash, it was done quietly and without great fanfare or recriminations, partly because I think my mother had already become aware of its existence, without broaching the subject with me. Believe it or not, for a while some of my stash was stored in a sports bag/holdall behind a wardrobe in my mum's bedroom! It seems inconceivable that the mags within it remained undiscovered, but she never let on!

The remainder, as far as I can recall, just went with the normal household rubbish, or in a skip, on one of those occasions when the family was having a more general clear-out.

In earlier times, circumstances made it much more difficult to sustain much of a stash, so I tended to keep magazines or other material for a short time, barring the odd cherished picture or picture set.

Sometimes it was feasible to sneak one or two bits and pieces into the weekly trash, but on other occasions I would smuggle magazines out first thing in the morning. This was easy when I was still at school, as I had a bag in which to hide things. When I started working, it was less easy, particularly in summer when there was less excuse to wear bulky coats or jackets, which were vital for concealment purposes!

I usually placed the magazines etc. in ordinary public rubbish bins, not that far from home, and developed a paranoia about them being somehow traced back to me!

Scooby-doo · July 5th, 2017, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anglocat

I usually placed the magazines etc. in ordinary public rubbish bins, not that far from home, and developed a paranoia about them being somehow traced back to me!

That's funny. I wanted to chuck a load of magazines but i hated the idea. I considered leaving them somewhere for someone to find - being the porn fairy - but was worried that adults would find them, the police would be called and the magazines would be dusted for fingerprints!

**spazarino** · July 5th, 2017, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by london_manuk

I decided I couldn't risk an unscheduled bath as it would raise suspicions with my Mum...

And setting an extended fire in your bedroom DIDN'T??

Moohc · July 6th, 2017, 07:03 AM

"Are you burning porno mags in there, young man?"

"No! I'm doing drugs! I swear!"

london_manuk · July 6th, 2017, 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spazarino

And setting an extended fire in your bedroom DIDN'T??

Now I'm a bit (a lot) older, it makes me smile. Wafting smoke out of the window (fortunately the bedroom backed onto the garden so passers by weren't alarmed).

Interestingly, I suffered from the same worries that the other contributors did - tracing back the stash from public wastebins and the knock on the door. I'm now convinced that my Mum knew but was just too embarrassed to mention it ...

broxyman · July 6th, 2017, 09:20 AM

Serious issue this! And I'd love to know the answer to it.

Having collected vast quantities of porn over the years (magazines, videos, DVDs, VCDs, any format you care to name) I've now got boxes of it in the attic. It goes back to the 1970s, maybe even the 60s, when I was a lot younger than I am now!

The wife knows about it - she's not keen on porn, but she accepts that it's what blokes do. That's not the problem.

How the hell do you get rid of it all, without having to admit the unadmittable - that you've been a serial porn collector/horder for most of your life?

scorpion_111151 · July 6th, 2017, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anglocat

I usually placed the magazines etc. in ordinary public rubbish bins, not that far from home, and developed a paranoia about them being somehow traced back to me!

Paranoia's a terrible thing! I started disposing of my magazine stash by taking them to the recycling centre, and disposing of them with the normal newspapers. Then I started worrying that someone would connect my top-shelf mags with the papers, which had my address on. The next step was to go to two different recycling centres to make two drops!

JAMTOMO · July 6th, 2017, 10:24 AM

I once spotted a guy throw a suspicious 'package' into the canal. My instincts were right. It was indeed a stash of magazines, as I discovered later when I went back later after he had gone. The package didn't sink and i managed to bring it ashore with a stick. To my delight it was a good selection of mags from the late 70's (it was 1980 at the time).

July 5th, 2017, 12:04 PM	#1
london_manuk Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: London Posts: 37 Thanks: 169 Thanked 603 Times in 35 Posts	Stories: Disposing of Porn Has anyone any funny stories about disposing of porn (probably a cardinal sin on VEF ! ) --- For me, it was rather comical. I was a spotty teenager who had bought his first magazine and stored it in between the mattress and bedframe for a couple of days until the paranoia and guilt set in. I decided that the safest (!) way to dispose of it was to tear it into little pieces and set them on fire. In a metal waste paper bin. In my bedroom. I didn't realise how much torn paper a porno mag produces and how acrid and smoky the fumes from the various dyes and inks would be. With the persistance of the demented, I worked my way through the whole lot - with smoke billowing out of the bedroom windows - and then realised that the bedroom and I stank of smoke. I decided I couldn't risk an unscheduled bath as it would raise suspicions with my Mum, so I spent the rest of day as far away from members of the family as possible. Then I had to keep my Mum out of my bedroom for about a week whilst I experimented with a variety of smellies and airing the room. The next mag just went into a public wastebin when I was out and around ! --- __________________ London Man (UK)

July 5th, 2017, 12:21 PM	#2
zuckerman Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 99 Thanks: 2,153 Thanked 1,376 Times in 94 Posts	Decided to make use of the industrial strength shredder at work to destroy a bunch of top shelf material once. Thought I was being pretty clever - quiet shift, no one to see me, etc. Forgot that even neatly cross shredded there's something about flesh mags that is instantly spottable. So when the bale of waste paper came out of the machine a few hours later some awkward questions were asked. Claimed it was all the gf's copies of Cosmo!

July 5th, 2017, 03:45 PM	#3
anglocat Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2017 Posts: 132 Thanks: 62,477 Thanked 1,388 Times in 132 Posts	I didn't really accumulate a porn "stash" of any great consequence until my late teens. When the time came to dispose of said stash, it was done quietly and without great fanfare or recriminations, partly because I think my mother had already become aware of its existence, without broaching the subject with me. Believe it or not, for a while some of my stash was stored in a sports bag/holdall behind a wardrobe in my mum's bedroom! It seems inconceivable that the mags within it remained undiscovered, but she never let on! The remainder, as far as I can recall, just went with the normal household rubbish, or in a skip, on one of those occasions when the family was having a more general clear-out. In earlier times, circumstances made it much more difficult to sustain much of a stash, so I tended to keep magazines or other material for a short time, barring the odd cherished picture or picture set. Sometimes it was feasible to sneak one or two bits and pieces into the weekly trash, but on other occasions I would smuggle magazines out first thing in the morning. This was easy when I was still at school, as I had a bag in which to hide things. When I started working, it was less easy, particularly in summer when there was less excuse to wear bulky coats or jackets, which were vital for concealment purposes! I usually placed the magazines etc. in ordinary public rubbish bins, not that far from home, and developed a paranoia about them being somehow traced back to me!

July 6th, 2017, 07:03 AM	#6
Moohc Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 412 Thanks: 8,696 Thanked 6,479 Times in 404 Posts	"Are you burning porno mags in there, young man?" "No! I'm doing drugs! I swear!"

July 6th, 2017, 09:20 AM	#8
broxyman Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 193 Thanks: 6,521 Thanked 2,002 Times in 178 Posts	Serious issue this! And I'd love to know the answer to it. Having collected vast quantities of porn over the years (magazines, videos, DVDs, VCDs, any format you care to name) I've now got boxes of it in the attic. It goes back to the 1970s, maybe even the 60s, when I was a lot younger than I am now! The wife knows about it - she's not keen on porn, but she accepts that it's what blokes do. That's not the problem. How the hell do you get rid of it all, without having to admit the unadmittable - that you've been a serial porn collector/horder for most of your life?

July 6th, 2017, 10:24 AM	#10
JAMTOMO Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Manchester Posts: 67 Thanks: 1,686 Thanked 556 Times in 67 Posts	I once spotted a guy throw a suspicious 'package' into the canal. My instincts were right. It was indeed a stash of magazines, as I discovered later when I went back later after he had gone. The package didn't sink and i managed to bring it ashore with a stick. To my delight it was a good selection of mags from the late 70's (it was 1980 at the time).