Things You Could Do Then That You Can`t Do Now

[MaxJoker]

Now me i used to be able to throw my voice when i was younger , leading to many a merry giggle in the classroom after i`d made it seem like a mad Russian ( Although are there any other kind ?) had told our foppish French teacher to " Shat da vak up un suvender !"

Although the fun didn`t last that long after Shaun Guyman ( I know what a wanky name it`s like Kidboy or something ) grassed me up to the sub deputy head

Point is i tried to do it just now after many many years and found out i can`t

Well not unless i want it to sound like somebody a few feet away from me is choking

Also used to be able to do a decent Sooouth Afffreeekaaan accent

Only tried to do it now and i sound more like Brother Tabler than the late Eugène Terre'Blanche

Which when i think about is quite a weird coincidence given they both have similar political views

Hmmmmm what else can`t i do anymore

I can`t walk fast down the street and hold a simultaneous conversation on the phone anymore Or at least not without the person on the other end of the line enquiring about the safety of my speaking to them while i`m obviously in the process of climbing kilimanjaro

Plus i can no longer wolf down a proper Indian curry (Or two) anymore without waking up the next day with all the symptoms of the Ebola virus


Ok there`s a few , with more to come ( As if you didn`t already know and dread it)



So what about your bad selves , what did you once used to be able to do but nowadays can`t


Yeah and don`t say enjoy one of my threads anymore , or i`ll bust a cap in ya ass

[palo5]

Originally Posted by GreenSkull

Also used to be able to do a decent Sooouth Afffreeekaaan accent

All is not lost, comrade GS - you can always do a 'white' Seth Effrikan ekcent instead

[Estreeter]

There was a time when I could shoot six cans of beer in a row, all down in about 2 minutes
If I tried just doing one can these days, call an ambulance

[MaxJoker]

Originally Posted by Estreeter

There was a time when I could shoot six cans of beer in a row, all down in about 2 minutes
If I tried just doing one can these days, call an ambulance

Still on the plus side you wear a ten gallon hat with the beast of them , which when added to your internal alcohol content adds up to twelve and a half gallons

Unless of course you`re celebrating, in which case it`s nearer twenty

[blondifan]

ummm, cum six times in an hour.

Well I did once, but i think i aged 5 years immediatly.

Considering the company at the time, I'd do it all again.
(or at least pathetically attempt to)

[Greenman]

Run
Play cricket
Throw a javelin
Sing in a high voice
Go for days without changing my socks!
Jump up and down on a bed
Go topless on a beach
Put the belt into the higher of the holes on my trousers
Ride no-handed on my bike(can't do it now because some git nicked it this year)

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by Greenman

Run
Play cricket
Throw a javelin
Sing in a high voice
Go for days without changing my socks!
Jump up and down on a bed
Go topless on a beach
Put the belt into the higher of the holes on my trousers
Ride no-handed on my bike(can't do it now because some git nicked it this year)

Makes my only being able too eat a family size pizza on my own rather than super large on my own these days seem not so bad.

[robeston]

I kind of regret not being able to enjoy more than a few drinks, something that left me after I had food poisoning which put me off alcohol for several years. I lost the taste for it, totally.

I'm not as strong as I used to be; lifting any substantial weight now is a struggle.

But the worst is that I used to be able to have sex for hours at a time, every day, right up into my 40s, and have many of what I called 'dry' orgasms, and then days later when I really had to, a massive wet one. It's the complete opposite now, virtually premature ejaculation with intercourse. Thank god I love eating pussy.

[billybunter]

My singing voice has got lower, more baritone these days. When I sit down I creak and say ahh! When before I would just flop down. Can't wank as much as I used too I'm basically a grumpy old bastard when I go for a walk in the park, I need to sit down for a while.

[Mal Hombre]

Originally Posted by billybunter

My singing voice has got lower, more baritone these days. When I sit down I creak and say ahh! When before I would just flop down. Can't wank as much as I used too I'm basically a grumpy old bastard when I go for a walk in the park, I need to sit down for a while.

You and Me both BB,It's uncanny We could be twins.