Cheer Up, Here's The Good News Of The Day

Estreeter · December 11th, 2012, 12:15 PM

Ever come home from a hard day, or night from that matter...You turn the TV on for the 6 PM news and it's all bad

Ya want too throw the remote control at the screen

You just want to feel good about the world and hear a good news story for once

This is my kind

Good Evening Viewers, In Today's News Stories

Palestinian and Israeli leaders today almost settled the middle east problems at the UN using just a coin, Heads, Palestine wins all, Tails, Israel wins all... But the coin kept lading on it's edge So they'll try again next year

But in today's Top Story....

Teenage pop sensation Justin Beiber was shot to death in New York City. Witnesses said the teen's Limousine pulled up outside the Waldorf Astoria Hotel. His own music was playing through the cars sound system. A man approached the teen and asked him too turn down the music, when the teen refused the assailant then produced a sawn off shot gun and fatally wounded the pop hero

The assailant calmly walked away laughing and then signed autographs
The NYPD are now making an attempt to find the suspect who they say is middle aged with an Australian accent

And in a possible related story, NY police and paramedics are puzzled at the delivery of 100 dozen glazed donuts shaped in a map of Australia only an hour before the teen sensations murder to their stations. Police believe it may have been an attempt to slow response when a call was placed to come too the crime scene

That would cheer me up

It's over the top, slightly

What kind of thing would you want too hear on the 6 o'clock news

**ubu_roi** · December 11th, 2012, 04:30 PM

Actress Michelle Trachtenberg weds eccentric Portland Maine jazz lover ubu_roi.

**sydney1** · December 11th, 2012, 04:55 PM

Quote:

The assailant calmly walked away laughing and then signed autographs
The NYPD are now making an attempt to find the suspect who they say is middle aged with an Australian accent

Are you sure that the hero, I mean assailant didn't have a northern English accent. I'd like to think after we had set up the Canadian federation and everyone knows the Canadians to be top people, we would not let the Beiber child ruin it...

Here's what Faux news really thinks of the demon child.

**billybunter** · December 11th, 2012, 05:06 PM

Irishman wins world drinking contest. He was a violent thug who kept saying bejauses and fuck. But he's back in hospital now.

**Greenman** · December 11th, 2012, 05:56 PM

XFactor, Britain's Got Talent and IACGMOOHere to end completely, never to return.

Ant and Dec get eaten by kangaroos

All smug presenters on television to be shot in a mass cull

Jonathan Ross found guilty of speaking crap for years and fined £1m!

Internet connections to be free for the whole world-well we can dream can't we?

**Ninjaturtle** · December 11th, 2012, 08:34 PM

Newsflash#Newsflash#Newsflash#

The government announced to give all taxpayers their money back and never again ask for taxes

**scoundrel** · December 11th, 2012, 09:07 PM

The founders of Endemol TV have been executed for crimes against world culture.

Meanwhile the Big Brother house is being renovated.

**mizlaplan** · December 11th, 2012, 10:24 PM

Palestinians and Israelis decide to forget differences and chill out over a few bevvies.
Scientists prove that Man-Made Global Warming doesn't exist and advise everyone to burn fossil fuels with impunity.
Simon Cowell's botox treatment fails in horrific fashion.
God announces that he's back and despite everything, he still thinks we're worth tinkering with.

Estreeter · December 12th, 2012, 02:04 AM

Governments worldwide today announced that in all their countries, Pizza Delivery Drivers will be allowed the same rights in road traffic as Police, Fire Brigade and Paramedics. Motorists who fail to give right of way to the delivery vehicles will be brutally beaten by the person to whom the pizza was being delivered and also be banned for 10 years in having pizza delivered too their homes

And in other news
Fox News is proud to announce that beginning next week... President Obama and Bill O'Reilly will have a daily 7 PM talk show.... The show is modeled somewhere between The Jerry Springer Show and Martha Stewarts household tips...... Viewers will also be invited to call in and discuss their sexual problems on every Friday night episode

Happy

**Arturo2nd** · September 18th, 2016, 03:02 PM

In other news today TMZ and Perez Hilton announced that they have Roger Ailes sex tapes available for download.

December 11th, 2012, 12:15 PM	#1
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,893 Times in 60,322 Posts	Cheer Up, Here's The Good News Of The Day Ever come home from a hard day, or night from that matter...You turn the TV on for the 6 PM news and it's all bad Ya want too throw the remote control at the screen You just want to feel good about the world and hear a good news story for once This is my kind Good Evening Viewers, In Today's News Stories Palestinian and Israeli leaders today almost settled the middle east problems at the UN using just a coin, Heads, Palestine wins all, Tails, Israel wins all... But the coin kept lading on it's edge So they'll try again next year But in today's Top Story.... Teenage pop sensation Justin Beiber was shot to death in New York City. Witnesses said the teen's Limousine pulled up outside the Waldorf Astoria Hotel. His own music was playing through the cars sound system. A man approached the teen and asked him too turn down the music, when the teen refused the assailant then produced a sawn off shot gun and fatally wounded the pop hero The assailant calmly walked away laughing and then signed autographs The NYPD are now making an attempt to find the suspect who they say is middle aged with an Australian accent And in a possible related story, NY police and paramedics are puzzled at the delivery of 100 dozen glazed donuts shaped in a map of Australia only an hour before the teen sensations murder to their stations. Police believe it may have been an attempt to slow response when a call was placed to come too the crime scene That would cheer me up It's over the top, slightly What kind of thing would you want too hear on the 6 o'clock news __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

December 11th, 2012, 04:30 PM	#2
ubu_roi Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Northeastern USA Posts: 3,962 Thanks: 83,135 Thanked 43,794 Times in 3,958 Posts	Actress Michelle Trachtenberg weds eccentric Portland Maine jazz lover ubu_roi. __________________ Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder Last edited by ubu_roi; December 11th, 2012 at 05:05 PM.. Reason: forgot how to spell...

December 11th, 2012, 05:06 PM	#4
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,372 Times in 14,171 Posts	Irishman wins world drinking contest. He was a violent thug who kept saying bejauses and fuck. But he's back in hospital now. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

December 11th, 2012, 05:56 PM	#5
Greenman Live Legend of VEF Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Underground lair somewhere in the world Posts: 20,353 Thanks: 30,936 Thanked 383,520 Times in 19,356 Posts	XFactor, Britain's Got Talent and IACGMOOHere to end completely, never to return. Ant and Dec get eaten by kangaroos All smug presenters on television to be shot in a mass cull Jonathan Ross found guilty of speaking crap for years and fined £1m! Internet connections to be free for the whole world-well we can dream can't we? __________________ There was only ONE Greenman, and you accepted no substitutes! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Rest in peace MaxJoker-you will be sorely missed. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 20,000: Milestone reached!

December 11th, 2012, 08:34 PM	#6
Ninjaturtle aka Kodijack Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Bunga Bunga Island Posts: 12,337 Thanks: 88,092 Thanked 259,809 Times in 12,571 Posts	Newsflash#Newsflash#Newsflash# The government announced to give all taxpayers their money back and never again ask for taxes __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. *To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.*

December 11th, 2012, 09:07 PM	#7
scoundrel Super Moderator Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: England Posts: 26,239 Thanks: 162,401 Thanked 278,503 Times in 26,184 Posts	The founders of Endemol TV have been executed for crimes against world culture. Meanwhile the Big Brother house is being renovated. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

December 11th, 2012, 10:24 PM	#8
mizlaplan Good show! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: The Marches Posts: 2,526 Thanks: 102,981 Thanked 31,900 Times in 2,528 Posts	Palestinians and Israelis decide to forget differences and chill out over a few bevvies. Scientists prove that Man-Made Global Warming doesn't exist and advise everyone to burn fossil fuels with impunity. Simon Cowell's botox treatment fails in horrific fashion. God announces that he's back and despite everything, he still thinks we're worth tinkering with. __________________ motley crew though they were, they were all happily united in the roisterous, bawdy camaraderie of lust.

December 12th, 2012, 02:04 AM	#9
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,893 Times in 60,322 Posts	Governments worldwide today announced that in all their countries, Pizza Delivery Drivers will be allowed the same rights in road traffic as Police, Fire Brigade and Paramedics. Motorists who fail to give right of way to the delivery vehicles will be brutally beaten by the person to whom the pizza was being delivered and also be banned for 10 years in having pizza delivered too their homes And in other news Fox News is proud to announce that beginning next week... President Obama and Bill O'Reilly will have a daily 7 PM talk show.... The show is modeled somewhere between The Jerry Springer Show and Martha Stewarts household tips...... Viewers will also be invited to call in and discuss their sexual problems on every Friday night episode Happy __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

September 18th, 2016, 03:02 PM	#10
Arturo2nd Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Oakland, California, United States. I have a beautful view of the BART tracks and I-980 Posts: 8,955 Thanks: 103,061 Thanked 151,470 Times in 8,946 Posts	In other news today TMZ and Perez Hilton announced that they have Roger Ailes sex tapes available for download.