Twisted sick jokes that`ll send us ALL to hell. - Page 125

**risen** · January 10th, 2018, 08:52 PM

What’s big, Scottish and depressing?

Scotland.

I was walking through Glasgow today, when I was stopped by a representative from Aquafresh Toothpaste. She said, "Did you know that the average person only brushes 30% of their teeth?" I said, "We're in Glasgow love, the average person only has 30% of their teeth."

**ball7** · January 10th, 2018, 11:36 PM

The Scottish Alphabet:

A, B, Cunt

**risen** · January 10th, 2018, 11:55 PM

For my stag do, my best man said he was taking me where only the very tightest cunts in the world could be found.

Lidl in Glasgow.

What do you call a pointless race that covers 2,200 miles throughout France?

The French.

**ball7** · January 11th, 2018, 02:28 PM

I recently visited a second hand shop and got a second rate hand job

**risen** · January 11th, 2018, 08:28 PM

I was shocked last night to learn my 12 year old sister has caught Chlamydia.

I didn't even know I had it!

**risen** · January 13th, 2018, 12:55 AM

I asked my girlfriend for a blow job today and she replied with, "Well, what will I get?"

I'm guessing ‘Herpes’ was not the right answer.

What have Chlamydia and a cheating husband got in common?

My wife has both of them and doesn't know about it yet.

1 in 6 women are said to have Chlamydia. Then I must be really unlucky because every woman I sleep with calls me up a few weeks later telling me they got it.

MaxJoker · January 13th, 2018, 04:37 PM

"Open wide, here comes the airplane " ,

Said the Malaysian shark to his son.

Credit where it`s due to Oscar Pistorius ,

I don't think I could stand having no legs.

What's the difference between a nipple and an erect penis ? ,

Nothing according to my nine week old daughter.

**BondJmsBond** · January 13th, 2018, 05:22 PM

A pedophile and a little girl are walking into the woods late at night.

The little girl says, “I’m scared.”

The pedophile says, “You think you’re scared? I have to walk back alone!”

**risen** · January 15th, 2018, 07:50 PM

Damn this dyslexia I thought it said Anal

MaxJoker · January 16th, 2018, 05:14 PM

Did you hear about those ninety seven Nigerians who drowned yesterday while on their way to Europe ? ,

Exactly better than nothing.

Love taking my sensitive blind daughter out for a drive ,

Every time hit a speed bump I tell her it`s a dog.

January 13th, 2018, 04:37 PM	#1247
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	"Open wide, here comes the airplane " , Said the Malaysian shark to his son. Credit where it`s due to Oscar Pistorius , I don't think I could stand having no legs. What's the difference between a nipple and an erect penis ? , Nothing according to my nine week old daughter. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 16th, 2018, 05:14 PM	#1250
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,560 Times in 69,067 Posts	What ,too sick and twisted ? Did you hear about those ninety seven Nigerians who drowned yesterday while on their way to Europe ? , Exactly better than nothing. Love taking my sensitive blind daughter out for a drive , Every time hit a speed bump I tell her it`s a dog. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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January 10th, 2018, 08:52 PM	#1241
risen Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Stuck in the middle Posts: 1,100 Thanks: 68,798 Thanked 15,539 Times in 1,092 Posts	What’s big, Scottish and depressing? Scotland. I was walking through Glasgow today, when I was stopped by a representative from Aquafresh Toothpaste. She said, "Did you know that the average person only brushes 30% of their teeth?" I said, "We're in Glasgow love, the average person only has 30% of their teeth."

January 10th, 2018, 11:36 PM	#1242
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,690 Thanks: 66,280 Thanked 209,982 Times in 15,730 Posts	The Scottish Alphabet: A, B, Cunt

January 10th, 2018, 11:55 PM	#1243
risen Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Stuck in the middle Posts: 1,100 Thanks: 68,798 Thanked 15,539 Times in 1,092 Posts	For my stag do, my best man said he was taking me where only the very tightest cunts in the world could be found. Lidl in Glasgow. What do you call a pointless race that covers 2,200 miles throughout France? The French.

January 11th, 2018, 02:28 PM	#1244
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,690 Thanks: 66,280 Thanked 209,982 Times in 15,730 Posts	I recently visited a second hand shop and got a second rate hand job

January 11th, 2018, 08:28 PM	#1245
risen Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Stuck in the middle Posts: 1,100 Thanks: 68,798 Thanked 15,539 Times in 1,092 Posts	I was shocked last night to learn my 12 year old sister has caught Chlamydia. I didn't even know I had it!

January 13th, 2018, 12:55 AM	#1246
risen Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Stuck in the middle Posts: 1,100 Thanks: 68,798 Thanked 15,539 Times in 1,092 Posts	I asked my girlfriend for a blow job today and she replied with, "Well, what will I get?" I'm guessing ‘Herpes’ was not the right answer. What have Chlamydia and a cheating husband got in common? My wife has both of them and doesn't know about it yet. 1 in 6 women are said to have Chlamydia. Then I must be really unlucky because every woman I sleep with calls me up a few weeks later telling me they got it.

January 13th, 2018, 05:22 PM	#1248
BondJmsBond Vintage Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 3,059 Thanks: 28,052 Thanked 27,273 Times in 3,004 Posts	A pedophile and a little girl are walking into the woods late at night. The little girl says, “I’m scared.” The pedophile says, “You think you’re scared? I have to walk back alone!”

January 15th, 2018, 07:50 PM	#1249
risen Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Stuck in the middle Posts: 1,100 Thanks: 68,798 Thanked 15,539 Times in 1,092 Posts	Damn this dyslexia I thought it said Anal