Random Thoughts

**Ghaleon** · December 8th, 2009, 07:14 PM

1) Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2) Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

3) If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys & apes ?

4) The main reason that santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

5) I went into a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section ?" She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

6) What if there were no hypothetical questions ?

7) If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap ?

8) If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation ?

9) Is there another word for synonym ?

10) Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all ?"

11) What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant ?

12) If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages ?

13) Is a fly without wings called a walk ?

14) Why do they lock petrol station bathrooms ? Are they afraid someone will clean them ?

15) If a turtle dosen't have a shell, is he homeless or naked ?

16) Can a vegetarian eat animal crackers ?

17) If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent ?

18) Why do they put braille on the drive thru bank machines ?

19) How do they get the deer to cross the road only at those yellow signs ?

20) What was the best thing before sliced bread ?

21) One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

22) Does The Little Mermaid wear an algebra ?

23) Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery ?

24) How is it possible to have a civil war ?

25) If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too ?

26) If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry ?

27) If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done ?

28) Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it ?

29) Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids" ?

30) Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them ?

31) Why is there an experation date on sour cream ?

32) If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times, do they become disoriented ?

33) Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god ?

And Finally .....

34) One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Ghaleon

**Mal Hombre** · December 8th, 2009, 07:46 PM

All my thoughts are pretty random

**billybunter** · December 16th, 2009, 07:28 PM

Who decides what thoughts are random?

**TCO95** · January 11th, 2010, 06:27 PM

What if being snow blind meant you couldn't see snow?
Driving your car would be a real adventure wouldn't it? You'd be screaming at your mechanic "Traction control my ass! I slid through every stop sign. If it wasn't for the old lady pushing a shopping cart I would have hit a bus you idiot!"
You'd be watching the winter olympics wondering what the devil these fools were up to.
Snow ball fights would be a complete mystery. "What was that? Whatever you're doing just stop it. I'm not crazy you're crazy!"

Just wondering.

**Mal Hombre** · January 11th, 2010, 06:34 PM

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing ?

**mrfixit** · January 19th, 2010, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zobzob69

Man isn't descended from monkeys and apes.
Monkeys, apes and man all share the same common ancestor.

I don't see anything randome abou....hey cookies....sorry as I was saying I don't see anythi....WOW nudity got to go

RedRam7 · May 13th, 2010, 07:57 PM

...maybe it would be a wheeze for all to be invited to spit out the most trivial/surreal/wierd/just plain silliest ideas or thoughts to have popped into our minds whilst engaged in the fine and noble art of intoxication.

For example...

The question of which Family Guy character should be portrayed as Dr. Strangelove? Stewie (obviously), Meg or Peter?

What say you?

**billybunter** · May 13th, 2010, 08:41 PM

I thought, time for another.

**Mal Hombre** · May 13th, 2010, 08:50 PM

I thought ,I need pork Scratchings

**Dumbassgo** · May 13th, 2010, 09:41 PM

... right, better get my cap on. That 747 won't fly itself.

Cheers,
Dumbassgo.

December 8th, 2009, 07:14 PM	#1
Ghaleon Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Between Here & There Posts: 2,063 Thanks: 73,874 Thanked 34,765 Times in 2,064 Posts	Random Thoughts 1) Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2) Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 3) If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys & apes ? 4) The main reason that santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 5) I went into a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section ?" She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. 6) What if there were no hypothetical questions ? 7) If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap ? 8) If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation ? 9) Is there another word for synonym ? 10) Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all ?" 11) What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant ? 12) If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages ? 13) Is a fly without wings called a walk ? 14) Why do they lock petrol station bathrooms ? Are they afraid someone will clean them ? 15) If a turtle dosen't have a shell, is he homeless or naked ? 16) Can a vegetarian eat animal crackers ? 17) If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent ? 18) Why do they put braille on the drive thru bank machines ? 19) How do they get the deer to cross the road only at those yellow signs ? 20) What was the best thing before sliced bread ? 21) One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people. 22) Does The Little Mermaid wear an algebra ? 23) Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery ? 24) How is it possible to have a civil war ? 25) If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too ? 26) If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry ? 27) If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done ? 28) Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it ? 29) Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids" ? 30) Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them ? 31) Why is there an experation date on sour cream ? 32) If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times, do they become disoriented ? 33) Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god ? And Finally ..... 34) One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Ghaleon

December 8th, 2009, 07:46 PM	#2
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,117 Thanks: 772,459 Thanked 855,404 Times in 57,548 Posts	All my thoughts are pretty random __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 11th, 2010, 06:27 PM	#4
TCO95 Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: This member is not allowed in your country. Posts: 5,176 Thanks: 47,615 Thanked 64,784 Times in 5,130 Posts	What if being snow blind meant you couldn't see snow? Driving your car would be a real adventure wouldn't it? You'd be screaming at your mechanic "Traction control my ass! I slid through every stop sign. If it wasn't for the old lady pushing a shopping cart I would have hit a bus you idiot!" You'd be watching the winter olympics wondering what the devil these fools were up to. Snow ball fights would be a complete mystery. "What was that? Whatever you're doing just stop it. I'm not crazy you're crazy!" Just wondering. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 11th, 2010, 06:34 PM	#5
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,117 Thanks: 772,459 Thanked 855,404 Times in 57,548 Posts	Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing ? __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 13th, 2010, 07:57 PM	#7
RedRam7 Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 54 Thanks: 186 Thanked 434 Times in 44 Posts	Whilst having had a few drinks, I thought... ...maybe it would be a wheeze for all to be invited to spit out the most trivial/surreal/wierd/just plain silliest ideas or thoughts to have popped into our minds whilst engaged in the fine and noble art of intoxication. For example... The question of which Family Guy character should be portrayed as Dr. Strangelove? Stewie (obviously), Meg or Peter? What say you? __________________ We've got chaps here who could break out in a muck sweat merely by standing still.

December 16th, 2009, 07:28 PM	#3
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,369 Times in 14,171 Posts	Who decides what thoughts are random?

May 13th, 2010, 08:41 PM	#8
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,369 Times in 14,171 Posts	I thought, time for another.

May 13th, 2010, 08:50 PM	#9
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,117 Thanks: 772,459 Thanked 855,404 Times in 57,548 Posts	I thought ,I need pork Scratchings __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 13th, 2010, 09:41 PM	#10
Dumbassgo Vintage Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Sunny Stoke. Posts: 1,538 Thanks: 8,406 Thanked 42,498 Times in 1,504 Posts	... right, better get my cap on. That 747 won't fly itself. Cheers, Dumbassgo.

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