Register on the forum now to remove ALL ads + popups + get access to tons of hidden content for members only!
vintage erotica forum vintage erotica forum vintage erotica forum
vintage erotica forum
Home
Go Back   Vintage Erotica Forums > Discussion & Talk Forum > Funnies
Best Porn Sites Live Sex Register FAQ Members List Calendar Mark Forums Read

Notices
Funnies Got a joke or something funny that you want to share? Post it here!


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old February 2nd, 2017, 08:12 AM   #3301
footstep
Lost luggages?
 
footstep's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: France
Posts: 7,267
Thanks: 92,105
Thanked 86,707 Times in 7,169 Posts
footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+
Default

Granted. But once finished, you make your morning poop anywhere because of ill diarrhoea , your pet tiger eats you too.

I wish I don't need to post the next wish.
footstep is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to footstep For This Useful Post:
Old February 2nd, 2017, 09:40 AM   #3302
teaktop
Veteran Member
 
teaktop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 7,048
Thanks: 54,148
Thanked 116,875 Times in 7,066 Posts
teaktop 500000+teaktop 500000+teaktop 500000+teaktop 500000+teaktop 500000+teaktop 500000+teaktop 500000+teaktop 500000+teaktop 500000+teaktop 500000+teaktop 500000+
Default

__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
teaktop is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to teaktop For This Useful Post:
Old February 2nd, 2017, 12:22 PM   #3303
trailmaster
Veteran Member
 
trailmaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 59,801
Thanks: 1,327,975
Thanked 706,248 Times in 59,974 Posts
trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+
Smile

No wish to corrupt so I will just make a new wish.


I wish I could control the weather.
trailmaster is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to trailmaster For This Useful Post:
Old February 2nd, 2017, 02:23 PM   #3304
footstep
Lost luggages?
 
footstep's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: France
Posts: 7,267
Thanks: 92,105
Thanked 86,707 Times in 7,169 Posts
footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+
Default

Granted. Always sun in Chicago now. But you can't hide your secret and everyday, citizens call you on the phone
to ask you rain or sun or snow or wind ......You become very depressed, Chicago is now rainy. Finally, you finish at cbs news / weather , the pressure is so intensive from all the existing lobbies that you wish to be the same as before...
Granted. But people who expected your weather come to your home and kill you by
strangulation.

I wish I were a sport superstar.
footstep is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to footstep For This Useful Post:
Old February 2nd, 2017, 08:48 PM   #3305
Sir Honkers
Veteran Member
 
Sir Honkers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Land Of Glorious Leader
Posts: 30,170
Thanks: 285,446
Thanked 384,304 Times in 30,129 Posts
Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by footstep View Post
I wish I were a sport superstar.
Granted. Hard of hearing djinn, thought you said 'sport supercar'. And apparently the one Denis Welch was driving at the Silverstone Classic.
I wish that every time I paid a shopkeeper cash, double that amount would magically appear in my wallet.
Sir Honkers is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Sir Honkers For This Useful Post:
Old February 2nd, 2017, 10:32 PM   #3306
trailmaster
Veteran Member
 
trailmaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 59,801
Thanks: 1,327,975
Thanked 706,248 Times in 59,974 Posts
trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+
Smile

Wish granted, however, when you open your wallet you see that these extra bills are from the late 1880's and they are all yellowed and falling apart and are no good. As we say in America: Tough tootsie rolls



I am going to try one more time. I wish for a magic lamp that can be easily opened and in the lamp is a genie that will grant me three wishes. Please give me my 3 wishes.
trailmaster is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to trailmaster For This Useful Post:
Old February 2nd, 2017, 11:47 PM   #3307
bloke57
Veteran Member
 
bloke57's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Unaffordable housing
Posts: 4,923
Thanks: 31,646
Thanked 68,831 Times in 4,921 Posts
bloke57 250000+bloke57 250000+bloke57 250000+bloke57 250000+bloke57 250000+bloke57 250000+bloke57 250000+bloke57 250000+bloke57 250000+bloke57 250000+bloke57 250000+
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by trailmaster View Post
Please give me my 3 wishes.
Okay! So that's one used up already.

What were the other two?

Oh yes - today's lottery numbers - granted.

Oh yes - here's a ticket to fill in the numbers on - granted.

What? You haven't got a pen? Tough luck, your 3 wishes have been granted and the deadline's in 10 seconds' time.

I wish I was as tall as Trailmaster...
bloke57 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to bloke57 For This Useful Post:
Old February 3rd, 2017, 01:37 PM   #3308
trailmaster
Veteran Member
 
trailmaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 59,801
Thanks: 1,327,975
Thanked 706,248 Times in 59,974 Posts
trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+trailmaster 2500000+
Smile

Wish granted. You are now 6 feet 3 inches tall, and you know what. I have had trouble finding decent clothes that fit all my life. What is called regular is too small, and what is called "Big and tall" starts with men that are 6 feet 5 inches in height, so "Big and tall" clothes are too long. Everytime I get trousers I have to take them to a tailor to get them adjusted, and most shirts are not long enough or too long. It has been a constant struggle to look good all my life. How I have wished that my height was just 6 feet even. And now you are going to have these same problems for the rest of your life. Remember the old adage: "Watch out for what you wish for"


I wish I had x-ray vision so that I could look at women on the street and see through their clothes and see their beautiful nude bodies as they walk.
trailmaster is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to trailmaster For This Useful Post:
Old February 3rd, 2017, 04:28 PM   #3309
footstep
Lost luggages?
 
footstep's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: France
Posts: 7,267
Thanks: 92,105
Thanked 86,707 Times in 7,169 Posts
footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+footstep 350000+
Default

Granted. But xrays only show you men. It's made in China.....

I wish I could stop diseases.
footstep is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to footstep For This Useful Post:
Old February 3rd, 2017, 09:16 PM   #3310
Sir Honkers
Veteran Member
 
Sir Honkers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Land Of Glorious Leader
Posts: 30,170
Thanks: 285,446
Thanked 384,304 Times in 30,129 Posts
Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+Sir Honkers 1000000+
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by footstep View Post
I wish I could stop diseases.
Granted. Hard of hearing genie though you said 'dis fleases'.
POOF! A life time supply of Doggy Flea Away magically appears in your living room and you don't even own a dog. And one of the boxes is leaking. There is white powder over everything.
I wish the cap on trailmaster's genie lamp to be so loose it falls off and the genie therein escapes and becomes a moderator of the Corrupt A Wish thread, thereby hugely infuriating TM by giving everyone an easy, lazy way to corrupt wishes without having to think about it.
Sir Honkers is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Sir Honkers For This Useful Post:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump




All times are GMT. The time now is 10:29 AM.






vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.6.1 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.