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Old January 24th, 2017, 01:51 PM   #3291
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Granted, however, God does make friends with mortals, and when he heard you say that you want him to smite your enemies God said: I don't smite mortals. If they are evil I send them to hell, if they are good they reside up here with me and my angels. To even think that I will smite your enemies tells me that you are evil and all of a sudden you find yourself in a fiery hell with the devil who looks like a 50 foot tall monster with ten heads and necks and breathing fire who says to you: Welcome to my world mortal. Get ready for some real pain and misery for all eternity!

My car is dying. I wish for a brand new car with all the options including GPS, rear view t.v. camera, and I want it to be a hybrid.
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Old January 24th, 2017, 06:17 PM   #3292
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Wish granted. A brand new car, from RDA before 1990 , a brabant latest model they kept in some Deutsch museum. Engineers just added what you asked , gps etc but with pieces of RDA....

I wish I had the house of my dreams, whatever it is.
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Old January 25th, 2017, 05:09 AM   #3293
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Granted. Remember that house in your dreams as a kid, the one that monsters used to chase you through? You are now living in it, and it's real.

You start awake one night to hear a creak in the hallway. The door bursts open, and in comes a horrible hairy apparition hungry for your guts. In a panic, you jump for the window, but as in your childhood dreams, it is shuttered and nailed shut, and the glass won't break. There's no waking up this time. You try to dive under the bed, but the monster flicks a taloned paw and you fall to the floor screaming, entangled in your own intestines.

I wish Bob Guccione would come back from the dead and photograph today's porn models the way they ought to be.
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Old January 26th, 2017, 08:26 PM   #3294
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Originally Posted by bowlinggreen View Post
I wish Bob Guccione would come back from the dead and photograph today's porn models the way they ought to be.
Granted. Photos of porn models screaming in abject terror while a revenant leaking smelly body fluid and dripping corrupted flesh takes their picture does not catch on and you lose all your life savings after you invested in the foolhardy scheme.
I wish I still had the Valiant Charger that was the love of my life when I was nineteen and it was in showroom condition.

Last edited by Sir Honkers; January 26th, 2017 at 08:33 PM..
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Old January 31st, 2017, 12:06 AM   #3295
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Smile

Wish granted, however, when your car was being delivered a bunch of your neighbors saw it and some of the bad ones said to themselves "hmmm he's got a great old car that might be worth big bucks" That night you were so excited about getting the love of your life you could not sleep so you got up got dressed and decided to go downstairs and into your garage to see your car. Just as you opened the door to go into your garage you heard some noises. A bunch of your neighbors had broken in and were stealing your Valiant. You grabbed a shotgun and said "Stop or I will blow your heads off" and bang!, bang!, bang! and your body was blown in half from their shotguns.


I wish I had a magic lamp with a genie in it who would grant me 3 wishes.
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Old January 31st, 2017, 11:30 AM   #3296
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I wish I had a magic lamp with a genie in it who would grant me 3 wishes.
And so he would...if only you could get the cap off and he could get out. But after three thousand years of being buried in the sands of the desert outside Agrabah, it's rusted shut tighter than a nun's arse.
I wish that digging in my garden would turn up gold nuggets rather than sandy loam.
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Old February 1st, 2017, 03:47 PM   #3297
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Wish granted, however, while digging in your garden you happen upon a heavy metal box. You dig up the box and open it and find it stuffed to the top with these dirty gold nuggets. You jump up and down saying" I'm rich, I'm rich". You decide to wash off the nuggets and then put them in a cloth sack until you can decide what to do with them. A few days later though something strange is happening to you. You are getting pustules on your hands and you have been sick to your stomach and feel nauseous. You go to your doctor and after he examines you he says to you that you have radiation poisoning. And you can't understand at first but then you think of the gold nuggets. When you get home you take the nuggets and put them back into the original heavy metal box and take them to a mineralogist. He says to you that the metal container is lead and the nuggets are not gold but gold plated Polonium a radioactive element that is sometimes used in nuclear reactors. You run back to your doctor and he says that your radioactive poisoning will probably be fatal. Time will tell!

I will try again. I want a lamp with a genie in it who will grant me 3 wishes and this time the lamp can be easily opened.
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Old February 1st, 2017, 04:46 PM   #3298
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Wish granted. The lamp opens. But the genie is a famous known VEF mod ....
He reminds everything you posted and decided to ban you.

I wish I were 6 years old again.
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Old February 1st, 2017, 09:18 PM   #3299
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"I wish I were 6 years old again."

Granted with twinkly sparkles and fairy dust,my cuddly little Guinea Pig,opps they only live average 5yrs

Please grant my wish to be a great Formula One Driver,oh the excitement the fame the fortune the hotties the endless line of hotties
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Old February 2nd, 2017, 12:55 AM   #3300
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Wish granted, you are Denis Welch driving in the Silverstone classic on July 27, 2014.

CRRAAASH.

Well, it was a nice 3 minutes of fame.

I wish for my own pet tiger, trained to eat people who let their dogs poop on my sidewalk.
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