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Old July 21st, 2016, 10:52 AM   #2871
old alal
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Granted, she does. Unfortunately it is a picture from when she was 4 months old, and face down on the changing mat, and she signs it "here you go bowlinggreen, you sick pervert" You can't show it to anyone.

I wish I could send one of my home made Cheese and Onion Pies to Bill deBerg, via the medium of the internet, so that he could understand what a delicious food item it is.
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Old July 21st, 2016, 12:31 PM   #2872
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Wish granted, however, you're pie ends up being delivered to the house next door which has this enormous wolfhound who attacks the Fedex man, tears the package from his hands, tears it open and gobbles down the pie. The next day when Bill deBerg is going to work he sees his neighbor coming toward him with a rake. Bill gets afraid, and says "What is wrong my friend" The friend says " Fedex was at my house yesterday delivering your package and my wolfhound tore it from the delivery man's hand and ate it and now my living room carpet is covered with dog diarrhea" Bill says "That's not my fault if this package was delivered to the wrong address." The friend does not care and Bill deBerg is now in hospital with a broken neck.



I wish a Leprechaun would appear to me at my bedside and grant me three wishes.
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Old July 21st, 2016, 01:05 PM   #2873
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Wish granted, deaf genie sends you the evil leprechaun from the movie - and three fishes: a Moray eel, a stingray, and a 4 foot long bull shark. Evil leprechaun throws the fishes on your bed and then throws the covers on top of you and holds them down, listening rapturously to your screams as you are stung and bitten and blood pools beneath your bed.

I wish for a freezer full of fresh filet mignon wrapped in bacon and a case of Glenfiddich single malt.
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Old July 21st, 2016, 03:03 PM   #2874
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A little deja vu again. Wish granted, however, you are enjoying your Glenfiddich while your filet mignon is cooking on the grill. You are drinking a little too much and you get kinda sleepy and dizzy. You nod off only to awaken and smell a burning sound coming from your kitchen. You rush in only to fall to the floor from dizziness caused by your over indulgence with the scotch. You manage to get up and get into the kitchen just in time to see the grill is on fire, and the fire is spreading all over your kitchen. First though you get the freezer door open to retrieve your filet mignon, and then get the box of scotch. Too late. By then the house is on fire. You succumb to the smoke inhalation. You drop the box of scotch which bursts open feeding fuel to the fire. Whooooooosh you are now on fire. You run through the house not knowing where to go or what to do because your mind is so befuddled by the alcohol. Just then the firemen have arrived and start breaking down your front door. You try to help them, but then an ax comes through the door and cleaves off your head.


I wish a mysterious stranger would call me saying I have won 10,000,000 dollars tax free and the money will be sent to me by Fedex the next day.
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Old July 21st, 2016, 04:37 PM   #2875
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Granted. FedEx shows up at your door with 10,000,000 Zimbabwean dollars. Since they are essentialy worthless, your tax bill is non-existant.

I wish World's Dumbest... returned to truTV with new episodes.
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Old July 21st, 2016, 10:34 PM   #2876
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Granted. FedEx shows up at your door with 10,000,000 Zimbabwean dollars. Since they are essentialy worthless, your tax bill is non-existant.

I wish World's Dumbest... returned to truTV with new episodes.
Granted. Guess what, you're episode one. That huge collection of balloon pants you love so dearly makes everyone else laugh uncontrollably. You think donning a Nehru jacket and platform shoes will turn the tide. They don't, in fact people laugh themselves stupid. So stupid in fact Donald Trump wins the election in a landslide thanks to you. Billary is so mad she tracks you down and fills your balloon pants with fire ants. The last thing you see before you die is Dick Cheney stealing your Donna Summers record collection.

I wish I wasn't such a finicky eater.
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Old July 21st, 2016, 11:45 PM   #2877
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I wish I wasn't such a finicky eater.
Granted. For your first meal as an un-finicky eater you go around to old alal place for one of his cheese and onion pies. Be careful what you wish for.
I wish the Green Lantern ring my son-in-law gave me for my birthday really worked.
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Old July 22nd, 2016, 12:13 AM   #2878
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Wish granted, however, your not used to using the ring. You have in your mind the wish to fly and up you go, but you are going too fast and you don't know how to control yourself. You fly right into a MIG jet flying over Iraq and then you and the jet crash into one of the new Iraq nuclear power stations. The resulting explosion causes the nuclear reactor to go critical and it implodes spraying nuclear waste all over Iraq, Iran, Syria and Lebanon. All of the Isis terrorists die horrible lingering radioactive deaths-Hooooooooooooray!!!


I wish I could be huge breasted Milena Velba's love bunny.
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Old July 22nd, 2016, 03:27 AM   #2879
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Wish granted, but Milena and one of her bisexual friends are really into femdom.

The first time you do a threesome with them, you complain about having to lick her girlfriends smelly pussy, and before you can do anything Milena jabs a syringe full of sodium pentothal into your butt.

The next few hours are very blurry, but a week later you log on to a porn site where you can find Milena's latest and there is a big photoset starring YOU, hanging from a leather harness with a ball torturing device attached to your scrotum, being made to lick your own jizz off the floor while Milena and friend laugh and lash your back and ass with whips.

I wish for my very own F-22 Raptor and the skills to fly it.
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Old July 22nd, 2016, 11:35 PM   #2880
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I wish for my very own F-22 Raptor and the skills to fly it.
Granted. Trailmaster sends along deaf genie who thought you said character actor, and, since the skills to 'fly it' is an obvious euphemism for 'have sex with', gives you Angela Lansbury
I wish to live in the Brady household during season 5 and have hot mother and daughter sex with Mrs Brady and Marcia while Mike is at work.
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