Post your corny jokes - Page 1284

**gmcbee** · November 23rd, 2017, 04:25 AM

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, and he will spend the rest of his fucking life in the cellar tying flies.

**anothercustom** · November 23rd, 2017, 01:22 PM

When I heard that they'd found a cure for dyslexia, it was like music to my arse.

**anothercustom** · November 23rd, 2017, 01:23 PM

My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size.

So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.

captain fanta · November 24th, 2017, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anothercustom

My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size.

So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.

My mate went out with a dwarf he was nuts over her

**Mal Hombre** · November 24th, 2017, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anothercustom

My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size.

So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.

Quote:

Originally Posted by captain fanta

My mate went out with a dwarf he was nuts over her

My Mate went out with a dwarf,When it came to sex,She had to jump to it..

**gedly** · November 24th, 2017, 10:10 PM

I was literally hanging off the cliff by my fingernails and fell off when suddenly Superman came along, grabbed me in mid-air and carried me to the ground.
"Thanks Superman, you've saved my life, I really appreciate it", I said.
He replied, "Well next time, don't try climbing cliffs like some sort of a fucking retard".
Well, they do say you shouldn't meet your superheroes.

**bp666** · November 25th, 2017, 12:32 AM

Man: Are you a phillips or flathead?
Woman: Uh, I don't know. Why?
Man: I'm just trying to work out how to screw you.

**gedly** · November 26th, 2017, 09:35 PM

So my wife said to me, "Why have you just bought Lego and Bob the Builder?". "Well," I said, "you said you liked the idea of us trying some toys".

**ball7** · November 27th, 2017, 07:15 AM

Be nice to a masochist.
Hit him!

**ball7** · November 27th, 2017, 07:16 AM

And God said to Moses:
"That's the 25 commandments - Now can you remember all of them?"

November 27th, 2017, 07:15 AM	#12839
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,687 Thanks: 66,271 Thanked 209,958 Times in 15,727 Posts	Be nice to a masochist. Hit him! Last edited by ball7; November 27th, 2017 at 11:01 AM..

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November 23rd, 2017, 04:25 AM	#12831
gmcbee Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Clinging to the rim of a crater on the dark side of Uranus. Posts: 1,065 Thanks: 3,961 Thanked 11,051 Times in 1,042 Posts	Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will spend the rest of his fucking life in the cellar tying flies.

November 23rd, 2017, 01:22 PM	#12832
anothercustom Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2016 Posts: 4,948 Thanks: 25,715 Thanked 123,656 Times in 5,159 Posts	When I heard that they'd found a cure for dyslexia, it was like music to my arse.

November 23rd, 2017, 01:23 PM	#12833
anothercustom Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2016 Posts: 4,948 Thanks: 25,715 Thanked 123,656 Times in 5,159 Posts	My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size. So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.

November 24th, 2017, 10:10 PM	#12836
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,233 Thanks: 19,872 Thanked 69,282 Times in 3,170 Posts	I was literally hanging off the cliff by my fingernails and fell off when suddenly Superman came along, grabbed me in mid-air and carried me to the ground. "Thanks Superman, you've saved my life, I really appreciate it", I said. He replied, "Well next time, don't try climbing cliffs like some sort of a fucking retard". Well, they do say you shouldn't meet your superheroes.

November 25th, 2017, 12:32 AM	#12837
bp666 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,073 Thanks: 77,400 Thanked 14,180 Times in 1,074 Posts	Man: Are you a phillips or flathead? Woman: Uh, I don't know. Why? Man: I'm just trying to work out how to screw you.

November 26th, 2017, 09:35 PM	#12838
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,233 Thanks: 19,872 Thanked 69,282 Times in 3,170 Posts	So my wife said to me, "Why have you just bought Lego and Bob the Builder?". "Well," I said, "you said you liked the idea of us trying some toys".

November 27th, 2017, 07:16 AM	#12840
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,687 Thanks: 66,271 Thanked 209,958 Times in 15,727 Posts	And God said to Moses: "That's the 25 commandments - Now can you remember all of them?"