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Old April 29th, 2012, 11:59 PM   #1561
luddite
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I wish I could deny everything
Granted, but he that denied it, supplied it.

I wish that other people thought that my farts smelled nice.
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Old April 30th, 2012, 01:15 AM   #1562
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Granted, but he that denied it, supplied it.

I wish that other people thought that my farts smelled nice.
Granted. The same people who have head cheese in their shoes and tin foil under their hats think Every Little Thing You Do Is Magic.

I wish high pressure weather systems wouldn't give me headaches.
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Old April 30th, 2012, 04:41 PM   #1563
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I wish high pressure weather systems wouldn't give me headaches.
Granted high pressure never bothers you again as you are permanently stuck under the mother of low pressure systems the hurricane.

I wish I was brave enough to be a storm chaser
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Old April 30th, 2012, 09:58 PM   #1564
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Granted high pressure never bothers you again as you are permanently stuck under the mother of low pressure systems the hurricane.

I wish I was brave enough to be a storm chaser
Granted. Stormy Daniels will use this to her advantage when she rips you off for your wallet, watch and jewelry after that "FREE" lap dance.

I wish Simon Cowell would give me power of attorney over his business.
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Old April 30th, 2012, 11:44 PM   #1565
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Granted. Unfortunately you misread his job advertisment & you now have the power of attorney over his asses and not assets, 1000 of them on his immense Donkey Sanctuary in Oldham.

I wish I could sail around the world single-handedly.
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Old May 1st, 2012, 12:23 AM   #1566
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Granted. Unfortunately you misread his job advertisment & you now have the power of attorney over his asses and not assets, 1000 of them on his immense Donkey Sanctuary in Oldham.

I wish I could sail around the world single-handedly.
Granted. However, Genie does not need to know what you will be doing with the other hand. Beware, whales have a nasty habit of showing up to spoil wishes made in this thread.

I wish Ralph Nader to be the next President of the U.S. of A.
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Old May 1st, 2012, 09:30 AM   #1567
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I wish Ralph Nader to be the next President of the U.S. of A.
Granted. In gratitude, he appoints you you Director of the EPA, where your job will be to protect Humpback and Sperm whales.

I wish the whales to express their gratitude in their usual manner.
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Old May 1st, 2012, 06:28 PM   #1568
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I wish the whales to express their gratitude in their usual manner.
Granted you're blown off by the blow hole

I wish for the cow that produces the milk of kindness
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Old May 1st, 2012, 11:55 PM   #1569
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I wish for the cow that produces the milk of kindness
Granted, but it has mad cow disease.

I wish to give @llatse@ a bull so he can always get cream for his coffee.
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Old May 2nd, 2012, 12:46 AM   #1570
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Granted, but it has mad cow disease.

I wish to give @llatse@ a bull so he can always get cream for his coffee.
Granted. A bull elephant seal is on its way to his house, postage due. Genie has obtained a court order preventing @llatse@ from ever posting pictures or video of him obtaining his cream.

I wish to own the goose that lays the golden eggs.
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