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Old 04-02-2019, 08:04 AM   #14631
Mister Fide
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Adolf Hitler was terrible at golf. He spent most of the time in a bunker.
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Old 04-02-2019, 12:48 PM   #14632
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A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."

The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"

On the third day, the guy comes into the bar and orders another six double vodkas. The bartender says, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

The man downs the first drink and shakes his head, "Yeah, my wife!"
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Old 04-02-2019, 01:32 PM   #14633
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I've just bought a book about Feng Shui, but I can't decide where to put it.
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Old 04-02-2019, 04:56 PM   #14634
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A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six Bitter Lemons"
The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day."
The guy says"Yeah,Today I had My first blowjob",
The barman says"Congratulations,Let Me buy You a Scotch"
The guy replies "If six bitter lemons can't get rid of the taste,Nothing will"
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The nakedness of woman is the work of God-William Blake

It is a porn site,But it's a Classy porn site.
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Old 04-02-2019, 05:51 PM   #14635
MaxJoker
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My grandfather has the heart of a lion ,

Also a lifetime ban from our local zoo
.



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Old 04-03-2019, 02:26 AM   #14636
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Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?
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Old 04-03-2019, 12:55 PM   #14637
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Smile

A farmer walks into a bar with a horse. He says, "I will give any of you $1,000 if you can make my horse laugh." A man yells, "I'll take that bet," and leads the horse into the men's room.

After a couple of seconds, a loud braying laugh is heard from behind the door. The farmer screams to the man, "OK, I'll give you $2,000 if you can make my horse cry." The man shouts, "You're on!"

After a few more seconds, the man exits with the horse trudging behind him with tears streaming down his long-snout. Flabbergasted, the farmer asks, "How did you do it?"

The man replies, "I said that my cock was bigger than his and he laughed. Then I showed it to him."
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Old 04-03-2019, 01:47 PM   #14638
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Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.
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Old 04-03-2019, 01:52 PM   #14639
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Q: What did the schizophrenic bookkeeper say?
A: I hear invoices




A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.


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Old 04-03-2019, 02:01 PM   #14640
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Estreeter View Post
Q: What did the schizophrenic bookkeeper say?
A: I hear invoices




A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.


The number two joke is even older than I am, but it is still funny
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