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January 4th, 2017, 05:41 AM | #3261 |
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Deaf Genie grants your wish to be a sick beetle. As a cockroach, you survive the fallout from the Iranian nuclear reactor with no ill effects, but you don't do so well after being sprayed by the Terminex people while hanging out under the bar at your favorite strip club.
Noshing on pretzel crumbs and moldy pizza scraps, you can't figure out why you keep regurgitating your disgusting meals along with parts of your own insides. Finally, you stagger six legged up to the pole, hoping that Buxom Barbie will step on you while dancing and put you out of your misery. I wish I was a space alien with a death ray that could devastate entire cities at once.
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January 4th, 2017, 06:47 PM | #3262 |
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January 5th, 2017, 01:18 PM | #3263 |
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Granted, but you never remember that when you mess with the timeline there are consequences. It is 1957. You are with BB King, except he is white and he does not play the guitar. He plays the bagpipes. You want to jam with him. He says" get your lame ass outta here, no Australians allowed in my hallowed halls" The security guards grabs you and opens the rear door of the studio and throws you into a dumpster full of rotting food and rats.
I wish to be the proud owner of my own oil well in the westen part of the Australian outback. Australia currently pumps over 805,000 gallons of crude oil per day. Last edited by trailmaster; January 5th, 2017 at 02:18 PM.. |
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January 6th, 2017, 07:04 PM | #3264 | |
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Quote:
I wish Emma Watson would lift the restraining order. Last edited by Sir Honkers; January 8th, 2017 at 10:19 AM.. Reason: spelt tied as tired...what can I say. I'm anal retentive about grammar. |
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January 6th, 2017, 11:43 PM | #3265 |
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Granted. She lifts it up, rolls it into a club and swats your beetle ass across the room. You scream "Help I'm a defenseless beetle" but to no avail she gives you another swat. This time you land in a fish pond. You of course get eaten by one of her Koi. Bright side though, she uses the fish droppings to fertilize her pot plants. You have indirectly contributed to a bitchin' crop of purple mind xplosion that she smokes before having wild monkey sex with Ed Sheeran.
I wish Emma Watson never sees through my Ed Sheeran disguise. |
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January 8th, 2017, 09:54 PM | #3266 |
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Wish granted, however, you're disguise was not made right and it is falling to pieces. One day you make a date with Emma Watson to go to this fancy restaurant. You order an expensive wine and a fabulous feast and Ms Watson is very impressed, and she fawns over you, but then your disguise falls apart and your real face comes out and Ms Watson screams. The other customers scream too because you have the face of Justin Bieber. Emma throws her dinner plate filled with food into your face, and throws her wine glass into your face too, and she runs out of the restaurant with a look of disgust on her face. The maitre d calls security and these two big beefy guys drag you out of your seat and throw you out of the restaurant into the street just as a cab is pulling up. The cab hits you and you are catapulted 60 feet into the air and fall through a big plate of glass in the next door dress shop. A large piece of glass slices your head off.
I wish that when Donald Trump finally takes the office of POTUS, all his big bank accounts are frozen because the business world finds out that many of his biggest business deals were crooked. |
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January 9th, 2017, 11:32 AM | #3267 |
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Wish granted. But as McCarthyism , Trumpism finds you and put you in jail.
Because : all you wrote on social media about him!! I wish I were retired at 51. (this year so!) |
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January 10th, 2017, 12:37 PM | #3268 |
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Wish granted, however, I don't know how your retirement system works in France, but no matter. Your retired , but you get a letter from the French government retirement office saying that if you retire this early you cannot get your Social Security payments ( if you have that in France ), until age 65. You find that you can only live on your savings. That is ok for a while, but then due to some problem with the gas lines underneath your house a line ruptures and your house explodes. You had gone shopping a hour before this happened. When you get home, you home is not there, just a flaming hole and a lot of rubble. Then you find out that your house insurance won't pay for it. You have to buy a new house which severley depletes your savings. Then your on your way to your bank and it is hit by a meteor, and your bank is obliterated. Your whole life seems to going awry. Every day something happens to deplete more and more of your money. Eventually you're money is gone and you have to live on the street begging for money and food. None of your relatives will give you any help. Then one day you and some other homeless people are cooking food over an open fire and one of the them accidently lets a bottle of whiskey he had in his pocket, fall out of his pocket into the fire. The fire erupts into ball of flame and hits you and the others and you all get cooked to ashes.
I wish to have the ability to manipulate metal like that X-man Magneto. |
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January 11th, 2017, 04:32 PM | #3269 |
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Wish granted. You are Max Eisenhardt.
But your power control over magnetism doesn't work anymore. Because you are retired! You finish in a lost little planet far far away in the galaxy...... alone. I wish I could I were a time traveller. |
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January 11th, 2017, 08:25 PM | #3270 |
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