Most absurd argument with GF, wife, etc. - Page 8

**KissArmy** · December 14th, 2018, 10:40 AM

Me: Please don't hijack my retirement ceremony... I'd like a say in the planning. Please undo what you've done behind my back. It's embarrassing and my guests won't be amused...

Spouse: Shut up! How Dare You Question What I've Done Behind Your Back! You're snooping! You're being unreasonable! Fine! Go ahead and ruin everyone's fun!

[you can't win...]

Estreeter · December 14th, 2018, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KissArmy

[you can't win...]

Yes you can, all you need to do is think like a female

almost impossible for a normal male but always worth a shot

**rosestone** · December 14th, 2018, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Estreeter

Yes you can, all you need to do is think like a female

almost impossible for a normal male but always worth a shot

See, my missus says stuff like this, to which I reply: "I don't want to think like you, I like being rational and logical and calm."

That one's very popular with her

Estreeter · December 14th, 2018, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rosestone

See, my missus says stuff like this, to which I reply: "I don't want to think like you, I like being rational and logical and calm."

That one's very popular with her

I didn't mean speak back to her using their, well logic

I mean use it in the back of your head and anticipate the stupidity and have your comeback ready so you don't piss her off too much

Years and years back I recall one, one of the first times I went to her place and she made a spectacular Veal Schnitzel dinner for me, thought I'd be nice and do the washing after we had dinner ......... apparently

after washing the dishes and giving them a rinse is better done placed in a sink of cold water rather then running them under the tap

Makes zero difference to me, I said that but she insisted it was better her way. I dropped it there as anything I said was gonna be wrong.

**vo1v0d** · December 16th, 2018, 09:13 AM

Offered a friend a bacon roll and she refused because it was nearly noon and she was going to have lunch with her mother. I may be stupid but I am not stupid so I made her one anyway and wrapped it in foil for her to eat later. She ate it on the bus on the way to lunch, thus ruining her diet and obviously all my fault. Next time I will make her two.

**vo1v0d** · December 25th, 2018, 01:33 PM

So she gets a massive box of chocs to be shared with her daughter and she ate the fucking lot. I kept my big mouth shut about my bacon roll sabotaging her diet thus avoiding absurd argument.

**vo1v0d** · December 31st, 2018, 04:20 PM

Tomorrow the fair ones start their diets; how long before they fuck up and blame......guess who?

slimOl55 · January 6th, 2019, 02:28 PM

a new rendition for 2019

sometimes I sit down and I wonder....slim

**Heartbreaksoup** · February 18th, 2019, 02:31 AM

Three-part backstory to this lovely incident from about 20 years ago.

1. Fatty Arbuckle was a film comedian in the 1920s. His career was derailed by Hollywood's first great sex scandal. He was accused of murdering a girl named Virginia Rappe, gossiped about endlessly, and eventually acquitted.

2. The first Mrs. Soup had this grandmother who was apparently like the stereotypical old European matriarch who had an opinion on everything, whose word was law, and who knew all the dirt and the Real Secret History behind all the stories about politicians and celebrities that ...THEY... wouldn't tell you. This beast died before I came along, but since her word was law, I sure heard about her.

3. DC Comics used to have a line called Paradox Press that published these wonderfully fun "Big Books" in the 1990s, starting with the very successful The Big Book of Urban Legends and later incorporating Conspiracies, The Unexplained, The 70s, and so on. Each book was about 200 pages long, trade paperback size, and full of 1-6 page witty and fun stories by dozens of comic writers and artists about the book's subject.

So, I had bought the latest Big Book. It was called The Big Book of Scandal, and it was awesome, and really funny. And the first Mrs. Soup was reading it and stopped with a frown. "This is wrong," she said. "This Fatty Arbuckle story is wrong." And she went on to explain that Fatty Arbuckle had killed Virginia Rappe.

"That's part of the story you just read," I said, "how there were all these rumors and gossip and stories about that, usually involving raping her with a broken Coke bottle or some such bullshit. None of it was true."

"My grandmother said he killed her," she replied.

"Your grandmother was wrong," I said.

That woman could go from zero to earthquake in one word. I knew that. But this was twisted beyond "Everyone has an opinion on whether OJ Simpson did it or not, but we all agree that he was found not guilty." The woman honestly believed that Fatty Arbuckle was convicted and died in prison. Her grandmother supposedly knew somebody who knew Virginia Rappe and had this twisted misunderstanding of the Arbuckle case where he was found guilty, and so therefore anything contrary to that was either mistaken or a coverup.

I withdrew before this one got really ugly, but she was mad at me for weeks for disrespecting her grandmother. This was possibly 1998, and a friend pointed out that this might have been the first fight anybody had ever had about Fatty Arbuckle in sixty years.

**vo1v0d** · May 9th, 2019, 06:38 AM

New female friend. A stew swimming with fat and large lumps of lamb
Me: Wossat?
She: vegetable soup
Me: But its got great big lumps of lamb in it and its swimming in fat
She: thats how I make vegetable soup
Me: So they plant lambs as tiny seeds and water them..........
she is laughing at this point but will not back down about ingredients. As I have stated before, I may be stupid but I am not stupid so I walked away

January 6th, 2019, 02:28 PM	#78
slimOl55 Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 845 Thanks: 24,270 Thanked 4,956 Times in 774 Posts	She told me a new rendition for 2019 sometimes I sit down and I wonder....slim

February 18th, 2019, 02:31 AM	#79
Heartbreaksoup Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2013 Posts: 2,486 Thanks: 1,163 Thanked 24,531 Times in 2,430 Posts	Three-part backstory to this lovely incident from about 20 years ago. 1. Fatty Arbuckle was a film comedian in the 1920s. His career was derailed by Hollywood's first great sex scandal. He was accused of murdering a girl named Virginia Rappe, gossiped about endlessly, and eventually acquitted. 2. The first Mrs. Soup had this grandmother who was apparently like the stereotypical old European matriarch who had an opinion on everything, whose word was law, and who knew all the dirt and the Real Secret History behind all the stories about politicians and celebrities that ...THEY... wouldn't tell you. This beast died before I came along, but since her word was law, I sure heard about her. 3. DC Comics used to have a line called Paradox Press that published these wonderfully fun "Big Books" in the 1990s, starting with the very successful The Big Book of Urban Legends and later incorporating Conspiracies, The Unexplained, The 70s, and so on. Each book was about 200 pages long, trade paperback size, and full of 1-6 page witty and fun stories by dozens of comic writers and artists about the book's subject. So, I had bought the latest Big Book. It was called The Big Book of Scandal, and it was awesome, and really funny. And the first Mrs. Soup was reading it and stopped with a frown. "This is wrong," she said. "This Fatty Arbuckle story is wrong." And she went on to explain that Fatty Arbuckle had killed Virginia Rappe. "That's part of the story you just read," I said, "how there were all these rumors and gossip and stories about that, usually involving raping her with a broken Coke bottle or some such bullshit. None of it was true." "My grandmother said he killed her," she replied. "Your grandmother was wrong," I said. That woman could go from zero to earthquake in one word. I knew that. But this was twisted beyond "Everyone has an opinion on whether OJ Simpson did it or not, but we all agree that he was found not guilty." The woman honestly believed that Fatty Arbuckle was convicted and died in prison. Her grandmother supposedly knew somebody who knew Virginia Rappe and had this twisted misunderstanding of the Arbuckle case where he was found guilty, and so therefore anything contrary to that was either mistaken or a coverup. I withdrew before this one got really ugly, but she was mad at me for weeks for disrespecting her grandmother. This was possibly 1998, and a friend pointed out that this might have been the first fight anybody had ever had about Fatty Arbuckle in sixty years. __________________ !!! I'm looking for rare SuicideGirls sets! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. !!!

December 14th, 2018, 10:40 AM	#71
KissArmy Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 1,125 Thanks: 21,109 Thanked 12,369 Times in 1,106 Posts	Me: Please don't hijack my retirement ceremony... I'd like a say in the planning. Please undo what you've done behind my back. It's embarrassing and my guests won't be amused... Spouse: Shut up! How Dare You Question What I've Done Behind Your Back! You're snooping! You're being unreasonable! Fine! Go ahead and ruin everyone's fun! [you can't win...]

December 16th, 2018, 09:13 AM	#75
vo1v0d Hideous By Nature Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: sarf eeeest lunden Posts: 8,244 Thanks: 42,269 Thanked 60,708 Times in 7,461 Posts	Offered a friend a bacon roll and she refused because it was nearly noon and she was going to have lunch with her mother. I may be stupid but I am not stupid so I made her one anyway and wrapped it in foil for her to eat later. She ate it on the bus on the way to lunch, thus ruining her diet and obviously all my fault. Next time I will make her two.

December 25th, 2018, 01:33 PM	#76
vo1v0d Hideous By Nature Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: sarf eeeest lunden Posts: 8,244 Thanks: 42,269 Thanked 60,708 Times in 7,461 Posts	So she gets a massive box of chocs to be shared with her daughter and she ate the fucking lot. I kept my big mouth shut about my bacon roll sabotaging her diet thus avoiding absurd argument.

December 31st, 2018, 04:20 PM	#77
vo1v0d Hideous By Nature Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: sarf eeeest lunden Posts: 8,244 Thanks: 42,269 Thanked 60,708 Times in 7,461 Posts	Tomorrow the fair ones start their diets; how long before they fuck up and blame......guess who?

May 9th, 2019, 06:38 AM	#80
vo1v0d Hideous By Nature Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: sarf eeeest lunden Posts: 8,244 Thanks: 42,269 Thanked 60,708 Times in 7,461 Posts	New female friend. A stew swimming with fat and large lumps of lamb Me: Wossat? She: vegetable soup Me: But its got great big lumps of lamb in it and its swimming in fat She: thats how I make vegetable soup Me: So they plant lambs as tiny seeds and water them.......... she is laughing at this point but will not back down about ingredients. As I have stated before, I may be stupid but I am not stupid so I walked away