Post your corny jokes - Page 1134

**Isegrim** · July 28th, 2016, 06:30 AM

Of course they have taken the thyme: 'Thyme is money' ...

A little comfort ('As Thyme Goes By')

: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXwS7yLOYt4

**rosestone** · July 28th, 2016, 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isegrim

Of course they have taken the thyme: 'Thyme is money' ...

That's a very sage bit of wisdom.......

**bloke57** · July 28th, 2016, 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rosestone

That's a very sage bit of wisdom.......

Your jokes are really cumin on...I'll get me coat...

**Isegrim** · July 28th, 2016, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bloke57

Your jokes are really cumin on...I'll get me coat...

You could quite as well use cinnamon for coating ...

**Silklover** · July 28th, 2016, 09:03 AM

Little Johnny is standing on a street corner swatting mosquitoes.

Every time he sees a mosquito he utters, "fucking mosquitoes, fucking mosquitoes."

Just as the boy says it, a shocked priest walks up and says, "You should not curse the mosquitos because every one of God's creations has a purpose."

Little Johnny, unmoved by the priest's objection says, "Bullshit!"

"Well, tell me three things on this earth that God has made without a purpose" says the priest.

Little Johnny looks at him and replies,

“Tits on a nun, Balls on a priest, and these fucking Mosquitoes.”

**Isegrim** · July 28th, 2016, 10:02 AM

What a cute little boy, isn't he. Rather advanced for his years ... Could become the next Donald Trump ...

**countjimmoriarty** · July 28th, 2016, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isegrim

What a cute little boy, isn't he. Rather advanced for his years ... Could become the next Donald Trump ...

Little Johnny's far too intelligent to sink THAT low...

**trailmaster** · July 28th, 2016, 11:51 AM

Lacking fins or tail
the gefilte fish swims with
great difficulty.

Beyond Valium,
peace is knowing one's child
is an internist.

On Passover we
opened the door for Elijah.
Now our cat is gone.

After a warm rain
the sweet smell of camellias
Did you wipe your feet?

Her lips near my ear,
Aunt Sadie whispers the name
of her friend's disease.

Today I am a man.
Tomorrow I will return
to the seventh grade.

The sparkling blue sea
reminds me to wait an hour
after my sandwich.

Like a bonsai tree,
is your terrible posture
at my dinner table.

Jews on safari--
map, compass,elephant gun,
hard sucking candies.

The same kimono
the top geishas are wearing:
I got it at Loehmann's.

Mom, please! There is no
need to put that dinner roll
in your pocketbook.

Seven-foot Jews in
the NBA slam-dunking!
My alarm clock rings.

Sorry I'm not home
to take your call. At the tone
please state your bad news.

Is one Nobel Prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I've done?

Quietly murmured
at Saturday Synagogue services,
Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.

Hard to tell under the lights.
White Yarmulke or
male-pattern baldness

**Isegrim** · July 28th, 2016, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by countjimmoriarty

Little Johnny's far too intelligent to sink THAT low...

Do not know what you Americans have ... Trumpelstiltskin is sooo entertaining ... if you look at him from very far abroad ...

**effCup** · July 28th, 2016, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isegrim

little boy[...] advanced for his years ... the next Donald Trump

What? & become retarded for his ears?

No, wait: hair? Eyes? Nose?

July 28th, 2016, 06:30 AM	#11331
Isegrim Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2016 Posts: 1,094 Thanks: 8,200 Thanked 11,679 Times in 1,099 Posts	Of course they have taken the thyme: 'Thyme is money' ... A little comfort ('As Thyme Goes By') : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXwS7yLOYt4 Last edited by Isegrim; July 28th, 2016 at 06:50 AM..

July 28th, 2016, 11:51 AM	#11338
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,904 Thanks: 1,329,092 Thanked 707,282 Times in 60,078 Posts	Jewish Haiku Lacking fins or tail the gefilte fish swims with great difficulty. Beyond Valium, peace is knowing one's child is an internist. On Passover we opened the door for Elijah. Now our cat is gone. After a warm rain the sweet smell of camellias Did you wipe your feet? Her lips near my ear, Aunt Sadie whispers the name of her friend's disease. Today I am a man. Tomorrow I will return to the seventh grade. The sparkling blue sea reminds me to wait an hour after my sandwich. Like a bonsai tree, is your terrible posture at my dinner table. Jews on safari-- map, compass,elephant gun, hard sucking candies. The same kimono the top geishas are wearing: I got it at Loehmann's. Mom, please! There is no need to put that dinner roll in your pocketbook. Seven-foot Jews in the NBA slam-dunking! My alarm clock rings. Sorry I'm not home to take your call. At the tone please state your bad news. Is one Nobel Prize so much to ask from a child after all I've done? Quietly murmured at Saturday Synagogue services, Yanks 5, Red Sox 3. Hard to tell under the lights. White Yarmulke or male-pattern baldness

July 28th, 2016, 09:03 AM	#11335
Silklover Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Next to you Posts: 1,253 Thanks: 17,262 Thanked 17,820 Times in 1,241 Posts	Little Johnny is standing on a street corner swatting mosquitoes. Every time he sees a mosquito he utters, "fucking mosquitoes, fucking mosquitoes." Just as the boy says it, a shocked priest walks up and says, "You should not curse the mosquitos because every one of God's creations has a purpose." Little Johnny, unmoved by the priest's objection says, "Bullshit!" "Well, tell me three things on this earth that God has made without a purpose" says the priest. Little Johnny looks at him and replies, “Tits on a nun, Balls on a priest, and these fucking Mosquitoes.”

July 28th, 2016, 10:02 AM	#11336
Isegrim Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2016 Posts: 1,094 Thanks: 8,200 Thanked 11,679 Times in 1,099 Posts	What a cute little boy, isn't he. Rather advanced for his years ... Could become the next Donald Trump ...