What if you lived in Australia?

[bloke57]

Originally Posted by loosegoose

Coises!...he's onto my attempts to tunnel underneath his mansion and come up through the floor. memo to self: move equipment further away

Pssst! loosgoose - my plan was to drill in through the roof. Perhaps we should co-ordinate our efforts from now on. Rich pickings to be had from all those quokka pelts he's secreted in the vault of doom.

[blondifan]

Originally Posted by loosegoose

Coises!...he's onto my attempts to tunnel underneath his mansion and come up through the floor. memo to self: move equipment further away

Mind my tardis, when you do.

In a place without an auto industry, how else is a girl supposed to get around?

[Tmee2020]

At least tm's got Jeff Goldblum out the front handing out free snags.

Just my luck, I thought that said Free Shags.

[trailmaster]

Oh, by the way the name of my mansion is Quokka Terrace, and no there are no quokkas here. I have an underground airstrip and jet helicopter pad. I can visit Rottnest Island when ever I want. It is a typical morning. I have just started to make breakfast when I hear explosions outside. I take an elevator to the basement where my security center is. I have big t.v. screens that show all sides of the mansion, and to my amazement I see three tiger tanks advancing on the mansion. These tanks look similar, although they are much larger than the ones used by the German army in World War 2. Also my radar detection system is showing 3 Sikorsky attack helicopters coming in from the south. 8 inch armor piercing shells are hitting my wall, but they are either bouncing off, or are exploding, but causing no damage. I have a Harpoon surface to air missle system on my roof. I just punch a button and the defense system automatically locates one of the helicopters and fires a missle. The missle hits the helicopter direct center and it is blown to dust. Seeing this the other ships immediately fly away. Meanwhile the tanks are getting closer. I will wait until they are a little closer before I end this stupid attempt by these nuts thinking they can penetrate my defenses. Thousands of rounds of 50mm incendiary and exploding bullets come from the tanks and hit my defense wall and do little damage. I think I will take out a tank. I push another button which activates another missle system. I have a cruise missle system. It fires 2,000 pound cruise missles which have a range of 500 miles and move at a speed of 700 mph. A missle is fired and it hits one of the tanks. There is nothing left but a smoking crater. Now the tanks are really pelting my mansion with everything they have. An anti-tank shell hits the wall and actually is able to get about eight inches into the wall. Flames from a flame thrower hit the wall. I also have an automated Laws rocket system. I hit another button and three laws rockets hit another tank and blasts the main turret off, then my pulse laser system fires and the tank explodes when the laser heats up its gasoline tanks. This is getting tiresome. Finally I destroy the last tank with another cruise missle. Suddenly an alarm sounds. My radar detection system says a missle is heading for the mansion. It may have been fired from one of the Sikorsky helicopters. No worry. I touch a button and a cruise missle fires. It has smart technology. It can locate any offensive object , zero in which it does and Booooooooooooooooom there is a tremendous explosion that happened about 2 miles off the Bass Strait above the sea. The battle is over. Quokka Terrace is safe. I go back to my breakfast.

The End

[bloke57]

Originally Posted by trailmaster

...The battle is over. Quokka Terrace is safe. I go back to my breakfast.

Phew! Glad you are safe but I never quite got why you were being attacked in the first place. I mean Aussies are generally pretty laid back.

It can't even be a Ford v Holden thing 'cause you drive a Toyota. Was it your high profile plan to ban barbecues that caused all the rumpus?

[trailmaster]

Originally Posted by bloke57

Phew! Glad you are safe but I never quite got why you were being attacked in the first place. I mean Aussies are generally pretty laid back.

It can't even be a Ford v Holden thing 'cause you drive a Toyota. Was it your high profile plan to ban barbecues that caused all the rumpus?

It wasn't aussies that were the attackers. It was probably a Muslim hate group that thought my mansion had riches in it, so they worked out this plan to take it not realizing that what looked like a large mansion was really a fortress!

[Sir Honkers]

Originally Posted by trailmaster

It wasn't aussies that were the attackers. It was probably a Muslim hate group

>Folds up cupboard tanks, discards fake beard and throws away tea towel that was doubling as turban. Snickers at TM's gullibility<

[bloke57]

Originally Posted by loosegoose

>Folds up cupboard tanks, discards fake beard and throws away tea towel that was doubling as turban. Snickers at TM's gullibility<

I'd love a cupboard tank. So easy for the modern housewife to store away for those "difficult" times of the month.

[Sir Honkers]

Originally Posted by bloke57

I'd love a cupboard tank. So easy for the modern housewife to store away for those "difficult" times of the month.

DOH!

[blondifan]

Westpac appears to have ruled out funding the controversial Adani mine by limiting lending to basins that are already producing thermal coal.

Australia's oldest bank on Friday updated its climate change action plan in which it said it would limit thermal coal project lending to producing basins where the coal quality is highest - a move the bank said demonstrated support for the transition to a zero emissions economy.

Westpac had long been targeted by protesters over its failure to follow its rivals in ruling out funding for the $20 billion Adani mine in Queensland's Galilee Basin, which critics say would severely jeopardise the state of the Great Barrier Reef and destroy indigenous land rights.

Source: http://au.pressfrom.com/news/money/-...ani-coal-mine/

What this didn't mention is that the government planned to spend a billion of tax payers dollars to build a railway to service this mine, something Adani could have payed for themselves.
More so, India plans to greatly improve use of renewable energy by the end of this year. This railway would never pay for itself and at the risk of the Great Barrier Reef.
Westpac are the sixteenth lending institution to turn Adani down.

In 2016 84% of Queensland was in a drought and the government thinks it’s a good idea to give free groundwater to a coal mine, while farmers have to pay.
According to a supplementary environmental impact statement, the mine will draw 26 million litres of water per day from its pits by 2029.