The corrupt a wish game

[@llatse@]

Originally Posted by loosegoose

I wish to meet a beautiful girl with a vocabulary, avoid of anything contrary; incapable of saying no except when it meant yes.

Boom and the girl appears.....she speaks only strong dialect Hungarian never shaves or washes (just what your average Hungarian likes) and keeps it in the family i.e. her three brothers get constant sloppy 2nds after you've had a go with sis.

I wish to meet a friendly alien that takes me away to it's fabulous planet where I live out the rest of my life in contentment as I find out Kelly Brook has been chosen to be my life companion.

[Sir Honkers]

Originally Posted by @llatse@

I wish to meet a friendly alien that takes me away to it's fabulous planet where I live out the rest of my life in contentment as I find out Kelly Brook has been chosen to be my life companion.

Granted. The planet is indeed fabulous...if you breathe chlorine. The rest of your life turns out to be about 78 seconds, but at least you and Kelly share a last, agonised writhe in each other's arms.

I wish that the Mona Lisa replica my daughter-in-law gave us turned out to be the real thing and the one in the Louvre was the fake.

[Abbie Hunt]

Granted! Unfortunately, the first ones to notice are the French Directorate-General for External Security (DGSE) who are not amused by your daughter-in-law making off with a national treasure.

Using the same light touch they employed to discourage Greenpeace from sending out the Rainbow Warrior, a group of DGSE agents pay you a late-night visit. Result? You, your home and everyone and everything in it, including the real Mona Lisa, are riddled with 9mm bullets and then burnt to ashes.

I wish Loosegoose, Trailmaster, Bowlingreen, and @llatse@ all the happiness they deserve.

[Sir Honkers]

Originally Posted by Abbie Hunt

I wish Loosegoose, Trailmaster, Bowlingreen, and @llatse@ all the happiness they deserve.

Lame. I've had that since I slid into a young woman on a treacherously icy street in Trondheim and ended up marrying her.

I wish I had the power to travel into my favourite books and TV shows.

ps:My good lady has requested that I point out, that when I say 'slid into her', I was speaking of colliding with her after sliding on the ice.

[@llatse@]

Originally Posted by loosegoose

I wish I had the power to travel into my favourite books and TV shows.

When you end up in a book it's a banned one in 1930's Nazi Germany and is used to start the fire in their latest book burning frenzy.

Sadly all your fave TV shows are so old they're never shown anymore.

I wish I could eat and drink whatever I like whenever I like yet not put on any weight

[trailmaster]

Granted. You can eat and drink whatever you want and not put on any weight, however, the reason for this is that your metabolism is so high that all the calories are burned up before they can be stored away in your muscles and organs, thus you have to eat constantly. You once stopped eating and you started to lose weight almost right away. In just one day you lost 30 pounds. You spent your entire life savings just eating and when the money was all gone you wasted away to just a bag of bones that collapsed into a pile of bloody dust!

I want to get a phone call where this mysterious stranger wants to send me a check, tax free for $100 million dollars. I can spend the rest of my life lounging on Waikiki beach drinking Mai Tai's and paying for the greatest looking hookers all night, and I will have and use all the sex protection I need.

[bowlinggreen]

Wish granted. Unfortunately a week after you arrive in Hawaii a huge undersea quake creates a half-mile high tsunami off of Waikiki that turns you, the hookers and the Mai Tais into seaborne detritus.

I wish for an 18 year old Crissy Moran wearing only leg warmers to be sitting in my lap.

[@llatse@]

Originally Posted by bowlinggreen

I wish for an 18 year old Crissy Moran wearing only leg warmers to be sitting in my lap.

Confused Genie sends over 81 yr old Chris Moran the local bum who normally sleeps in a wheelie bin and lives on throwaway scraps from the local dog food factory. He's more than happy to wear leg warmers all day whilst he spends the rest of Winter and Christmas with you........too late you realise you've only got one bed......Chris loves a snuggle.

I wish I had a car that needed no maintenance, always started whatever the weather (and drives perfectly in any weather) and never needs to be re-fuelled or re-charged ever.

[Sir Honkers]

Originally Posted by @llatse@

I wish I had a car that needed no maintenance, always started whatever the weather (and drives perfectly in any weather) and never needs to be re-fuelled or re-charged ever.

Granted. And nothing ever goes wrong with it ever...per se. However Trailmaster who hates the thought of anyone, anywhere ever, getting a car wish granted that doesn't go pear-shaped demolishes it with a sledgehammer whilst screaming hysterically....'no no...my flying car...mine!'

I wish to be alone on a beautiful tropical island with Ginger and Maryann as they were in their heyday, with no Japanese Submariners, Mad Scientists, Cannibal tribes, falling coconuts, tropical storms, volcanoes, erupting or otherwise, carnivorous animals, man-eating marine life of any kind in the lagoon or tropical...or non tropical diseases. And plenty of food and tasty, non toxic fermented jungle juice. And no well intentioned would be rescuers.

[bowlinggreen]

Wish granted, but while running joyfully towards Ginger and MaryAnn on the beach you trip and fall just right onto a sharp piece of coral. It pierces your jugular and the last thing you see is a dimming vision of Ginger with her mouth in an "O" of dismay as the blood spurts out of your neck and showers across your eyes.

I wish to know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.