The Late Late Late Well Out Of Date News Flash Thread !

[TommySwiftJr.]

Finally! The revolution of comfort:



Now I happily can forget about this:



or this:

[Staffsyeoman]

Originally Posted by rupertramjet

Ah but he is no Gentleman sir! Making money from the game! Disgraceful!

But sir, I was indeed careful to call him a player and not a Gentleman.

Heaven forfend that a player should captain the England cricket team; if it is not a Gentleman, we may as well stop playing! Harrumph!

[rupertramjet]

Originally Posted by Staffsyeoman

But sir, I was indeed careful to call him a player and not a Gentleman.

Heaven forfend that a player should captain the England cricket team; if it is not a Gentleman, we may as well stop playing! Harrumph!

As one gentleman to another my abject apologies! But I fear that even this sorry state may yet come to pass, there may also be non Gentlemen in Parliament and even leading the Government. My God even a commoner as a General or an Admiral or some such, this world is changing too fast for me!

[danton]

Originally Posted by rupertramjet

As one gentleman to another my abject apologies! But I fear that even this sorry state may yet come to pass, there may also be non Gentlemen in Parliament and even leading the Government. My God even a commoner as a General or an Admiral or some such, this world is changing too fast for me!

Steady the Buffs! This sort of Nonsense is spoken Daily in the Liberal Prints, b' God! I'd as soon as see a Costermonger's son as Prime Minister than a Female given the Vote, damn it!

[rupertramjet]

Originally Posted by danton

Steady the Buffs! This sort of Nonsense is spoken Daily in the Liberal Prints, b' God! I'd as soon as see a Costermonger's son as Prime Minister than a Female given the Vote, damn it!

I fear that even that eventuality may come to pass, and where o'where will we be then? A female Prime Minister!

[TCO95]

Ron Atkinson has decided to step down as Manchester United manager and concentrate on an acting career. First off a name change to Rowan. Mr. Atkinson has created a character he calls Mr. Bean who travels about getting into and out of mischief while not uttering a sound. More than one player remarked "Wish we had gotten more of that around here!"

Mr. Atkinson will be replaced by Scottish striker Alex Ferguson who last managed at St. Helen Mirren. A team which allegedly plays at Paisley Park and is at times known as the "Buddies" or "Stiffler's Mom" depending on that evenings score.

[Tmee2020]

[danton]

These boffins! What will they think of next? These chaps are convinced that soon everyone will own one of these contraptions and no home will be complete without one. Really? I should hope not. It's Ludo for me, thank you very much!

[Tmee2020]

[MaxJoker]

Gather round fellow celeb obsessed, as this sniffing (It`s a cold i swear, albeit a cold that`s lasted ten years and involves cocaine) snooping raving reporter has a heck of a creamy scoop

Seems Tigger Weeds has found ever lasting love with a Swede or whoever (Hey he`d forgotten her name).



Due to contractual obligations he had to pretend to be pleased to see me (But not in a sexual way), then sat down ready for my typically supportive and thoughtful questions.



"So you over hyped shitty future cheating shit , who`s called a natural golfing genius, despite having been taught since age three by a trained professional, and anyway plays the most pointless uninteresting game since Whac-a-mole , are you indeed the most boring bastard on earth ?"

Oddly enough he took my question in a negative manner.



I urged him to stop giving me such a black look and like the pro i am, changed the subject.

"So Tommy, ever wanted to be a cowboy ?" I inquired, physically removing his fondling fingers from my thigh,



"Or a tree stump, given you show similar signs of intelligence ".

He blankly stared at me like a blankly staring blank thing that`d been sponsored to stare blanky.



Indeed , i sensed the good will was gone. As to be honest the guy stopped the black look and began giving me the evil eye.



To calm the situation i reminded him he`d found that blond woman and so now had a love that`d never die.

Thankfully that cheered him up so much he even allowed me to have one of his autographed balls



Although why he`d tattooed his signature on both testicles , let alone ripped off one for me , is anyones guess