Turning away from pornography

spurious · January 24th, 2012, 07:26 PM

A few things have come together for me in recent weeks: a need to cut down on expenditure, an opportunity to live overseas and the current ongoing fall-out over file sharing, along with a sense of reflection about my life.

One question I'm asking myself is: what role is porn having? I'm a fan of the stuff, I'll admit it. I enjoy using it, and have built up a pretty sweet collection, brutally refined to the very best stuff. The trouble is, I use it a lot. Day-to-day, that doesn't represent much of a problem at all; it's an enjoyable, cheap hobby. Yet over the years, I have increased the amount of time I watch pornography and am now at the point I barely watch what I own, for seeking out new stuff constantly.

I don't want to have to just say 'I Looked At Shitloads Of Porn' when I look back at my life, and so with new things to focus on (I'm also considering joining the gym to help change my evenings fundamentally) and an opportunity to change my lifestyle as well as my job, location etc. when I move, I'm seriously considering taking the opportunity to cut out porn.

I wouldn't delete my collection. I'd start by cutting the internet at home (something I've been thinking of doing anyway) so my only online access outside work is my iPhone. That will stop me searching. My collection will entertain me for a while but I'm hoping will decrease in it's place in my downtime at the moment.

I guess I'm sharing all this because I'm interested if anyone else has been in a similar place in their lives? Or if anyone has tried it?

**billybunter** · January 24th, 2012, 07:46 PM

I have found that as I get older I have less interest in porn. It doesn't rule my life at all, but I still like to look at it from time to time. I collect porn magazines in much the sameway I collect records/CDs or books. Porn addiction is very common these days. Everywhere you go you are bombarded by images that would have been classed as porn when I was a teen. (i'm not suggesting you are a porn addict btw) you can enjoy VEF without porn. Plenty of non porn threads on here, so maybe that is the way to go mate.

BB

**imtrying** · January 24th, 2012, 07:47 PM

I've got an OK collection of adult DVDs. The only porn I download is photos. Outside of this forum I don't look for or at porn all that much. Frankly, a lot of my time on this site is non-porn related. I love that there are threads here that cover everything from food and music to politics, and I enjoy the cyber company of a lot of the people here. But I do understand what you mean. I think everyone has one obsession that they enjoy maybe a bit more they should. For some folks it's Star Wars, for others it's football. For me, it's the Beatles. As long as it doesn't rule your life I think it's alright, but I guess we all have to make our own decision on that. Best of luck with your choice.

**steamjon** · January 24th, 2012, 10:27 PM

I do spend time online but a lot of it, in fact almost all of it is non porn forums ranging from IT, media, news, travel, work related.

Even in VEF, I tend to go on news, discussion, jokes etc.

Of course if you think you are spending too much time on porn then its wise to cut down.

thedrizzle123 · January 24th, 2012, 11:51 PM

If it's not adversely affecting your life then I don't see the problem. It sounds like maybe you just have personal guilt and maybe you should figure out where that comes from (religious upbringing... parents that shame you... angry girlfriends). I have no guilt. I have a ridiculously large porn collection (around 9 TB), but doesn't have a life breaking effect on me, so I'm not that worried about it.

I still work, play video games, watch movies, go out with my wife, socialize outside of the home, etc. The expense of hard drives or paysites is a paltry sum for me so it's not like I'm eating ramen noodles to afford my porn habits either.

So long as it's not damaging to your life, you shouldn't worry about it. Don't let some sort of collective cultural morality make you feel guilty about porn and drive you away from it when it's not harming you.

**Brecht** · January 25th, 2012, 12:15 AM

I guess the porn addiction equals internet addiction in some way. Back in the pre-internet day, consuming porn was confined spontaneously due to limited access, so it wouldn't strain other aspects of your personal and professional life. In other words, you just couldn't get obsessed by porn and if you've been an addict, that would have some serious consequences for your financial situation. Also, keeping a box full of magazines and VHS was not easy to keep secret like a few GBs (or more

) on your hard drive. It's a decision you have to make without the help of external circumstances and I understand, that's not easy. I'm 27 years old and noticed how my interest in porn decreased in comparison to just a few years ago. During my activity on VEF, porn became the last reason why I'm visiting this place. I just check out if there are new contributions to the threads of my favourite actresses and models (who are just a few) and spend most of the time on reading non-porn related discussions. I think the best step you can take is to interact with people and spend your free time in sporting activities, go to the cinema, read books etc.

mayberryfloyd · January 25th, 2012, 01:56 AM

I think that walking away from porn can be refreshing sometimes. Then it's fun to check it out again after a break. You're definitely correct in thinking that porn shouldn't be one of your top priorities in life. You're not likely to look back someday and wish that you had watched more porn. And that's coming from someone who likes a lot of porn. This might be beside the point, but when I've read through the general discussion parts of this forum I've always been impressed by the civility of the posters here. I'm on more mainstream-topic forums where many of the people fight constantly, about almost every subject, and it's almost impossible to stop the fights. For the most part people here get along, and even the arguments are handled well. So way to go porn fans.

Ru553ll · January 25th, 2012, 11:51 AM

When I got married I thought my interest in porn would go away - like you grow out of it. So I threw away my collection.

Well it didn't go away and my collection has proved to be irreplaceable.

If you want a break, then by all means try it; but yes I would recommend you archive your collection.

Good luck

deefer · January 25th, 2012, 12:16 PM

may be im alone in this but my libido wax's and wains over no particular time span some times Ive little interest in porn, some times my download limit goes right out the window. However as the late tony Curtis said "when i lost my libido it was like being unshackled from a lunatic" so it might give you some peace to feel the sting of uv rays on translucent skin and albino red eyes, realise woman wear clothes and don't talk in groans...

I have to say however Ive had clear outs but then regret loosing something i had to choose over, stick it on a hard drive and leave well alone for a while.

Estreeter · January 25th, 2012, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billybunter

. It doesn't rule my life at all,

billybunter
Join Date: Oct 2008
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January 24th, 2012, 07:26 PM	#1
spurious Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 80 Thanks: 1,462 Thanked 1,086 Times in 70 Posts	Turning away from pornography A few things have come together for me in recent weeks: a need to cut down on expenditure, an opportunity to live overseas and the current ongoing fall-out over file sharing, along with a sense of reflection about my life. One question I'm asking myself is: what role is porn having? I'm a fan of the stuff, I'll admit it. I enjoy using it, and have built up a pretty sweet collection, brutally refined to the very best stuff. The trouble is, I use it a lot. Day-to-day, that doesn't represent much of a problem at all; it's an enjoyable, cheap hobby. Yet over the years, I have increased the amount of time I watch pornography and am now at the point I barely watch what I own, for seeking out new stuff constantly. I don't want to have to just say 'I Looked At Shitloads Of Porn' when I look back at my life, and so with new things to focus on (I'm also considering joining the gym to help change my evenings fundamentally) and an opportunity to change my lifestyle as well as my job, location etc. when I move, I'm seriously considering taking the opportunity to cut out porn. I wouldn't delete my collection. I'd start by cutting the internet at home (something I've been thinking of doing anyway) so my only online access outside work is my iPhone. That will stop me searching. My collection will entertain me for a while but I'm hoping will decrease in it's place in my downtime at the moment. I guess I'm sharing all this because I'm interested if anyone else has been in a similar place in their lives? Or if anyone has tried it?

January 24th, 2012, 07:46 PM	#2
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,380 Times in 14,171 Posts	I have found that as I get older I have less interest in porn. It doesn't rule my life at all, but I still like to look at it from time to time. I collect porn magazines in much the sameway I collect records/CDs or books. Porn addiction is very common these days. Everywhere you go you are bombarded by images that would have been classed as porn when I was a teen. (i'm not suggesting you are a porn addict btw) you can enjoy VEF without porn. Plenty of non porn threads on here, so maybe that is the way to go mate. BB __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

January 24th, 2012, 07:47 PM	#3
imtrying Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 1,068 Thanks: 14,832 Thanked 17,245 Times in 1,043 Posts	I've got an OK collection of adult DVDs. The only porn I download is photos. Outside of this forum I don't look for or at porn all that much. Frankly, a lot of my time on this site is non-porn related. I love that there are threads here that cover everything from food and music to politics, and I enjoy the cyber company of a lot of the people here. But I do understand what you mean. I think everyone has one obsession that they enjoy maybe a bit more they should. For some folks it's Star Wars, for others it's football. For me, it's the Beatles. As long as it doesn't rule your life I think it's alright, but I guess we all have to make our own decision on that. Best of luck with your choice.

January 24th, 2012, 10:27 PM	#4
steamjon Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 1,109 Thanks: 6,188 Thanked 22,400 Times in 1,260 Posts	I do spend time online but a lot of it, in fact almost all of it is non porn forums ranging from IT, media, news, travel, work related. Even in VEF, I tend to go on news, discussion, jokes etc. Of course if you think you are spending too much time on porn then its wise to cut down.

January 24th, 2012, 11:51 PM	#5
thedrizzle123 Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 6 Thanks: 2 Thanked 81 Times in 6 Posts	If it's not adversely affecting your life then I don't see the problem. It sounds like maybe you just have personal guilt and maybe you should figure out where that comes from (religious upbringing... parents that shame you... angry girlfriends). I have no guilt. I have a ridiculously large porn collection (around 9 TB), but doesn't have a life breaking effect on me, so I'm not that worried about it. I still work, play video games, watch movies, go out with my wife, socialize outside of the home, etc. The expense of hard drives or paysites is a paltry sum for me so it's not like I'm eating ramen noodles to afford my porn habits either. So long as it's not damaging to your life, you shouldn't worry about it. Don't let some sort of collective cultural morality make you feel guilty about porn and drive you away from it when it's not harming you.

January 25th, 2012, 12:15 AM	#6
Brecht Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 10,657 Thanks: 180,485 Thanked 188,146 Times in 10,453 Posts	I guess the porn addiction equals internet addiction in some way. Back in the pre-internet day, consuming porn was confined spontaneously due to limited access, so it wouldn't strain other aspects of your personal and professional life. In other words, you just couldn't get obsessed by porn and if you've been an addict, that would have some serious consequences for your financial situation. Also, keeping a box full of magazines and VHS was not easy to keep secret like a few GBs (or more ) on your hard drive. It's a decision you have to make without the help of external circumstances and I understand, that's not easy. I'm 27 years old and noticed how my interest in porn decreased in comparison to just a few years ago. During my activity on VEF, porn became the last reason why I'm visiting this place. I just check out if there are new contributions to the threads of my favourite actresses and models (who are just a few) and spend most of the time on reading non-porn related discussions. I think the best step you can take is to interact with people and spend your free time in sporting activities, go to the cinema, read books etc.

January 25th, 2012, 01:56 AM	#7
mayberryfloyd Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 21 Thanks: 161 Thanked 724 Times in 21 Posts	I think that walking away from porn can be refreshing sometimes. Then it's fun to check it out again after a break. You're definitely correct in thinking that porn shouldn't be one of your top priorities in life. You're not likely to look back someday and wish that you had watched more porn. And that's coming from someone who likes a lot of porn. This might be beside the point, but when I've read through the general discussion parts of this forum I've always been impressed by the civility of the posters here. I'm on more mainstream-topic forums where many of the people fight constantly, about almost every subject, and it's almost impossible to stop the fights. For the most part people here get along, and even the arguments are handled well. So way to go porn fans.

January 25th, 2012, 11:51 AM	#8
Ru553ll Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 13 Thanks: 61 Thanked 96 Times in 12 Posts	When I got married I thought my interest in porn would go away - like you grow out of it. So I threw away my collection. Well it didn't go away and my collection has proved to be irreplaceable. If you want a break, then by all means try it; but yes I would recommend you archive your collection. Good luck

January 25th, 2012, 12:16 PM	#9
deefer Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 146 Thanks: 552 Thanked 2,323 Times in 134 Posts	may be im alone in this but my libido wax's and wains over no particular time span some times Ive little interest in porn, some times my download limit goes right out the window. However as the late tony Curtis said "when i lost my libido it was like being unshackled from a lunatic" so it might give you some peace to feel the sting of uv rays on translucent skin and albino red eyes, realise woman wear clothes and don't talk in groans... I have to say however Ive had clear outs but then regret loosing something i had to choose over, stick it on a hard drive and leave well alone for a while.