Register on the forum now to remove ALL ads + popups + get access to tons of hidden content for members only!
vintage erotica forum vintage erotica forum vintage erotica forum
vintage erotica forum

Go Back   Vintage Erotica Forums > Discussion & Talk Forum > Funnies

Follow Vintage Erotica Forum on Twitter
Best Porn Sites Meet Our Girls Register FAQ Members List Calendar Mark Forums Read

Notices
Funnies Got a joke or something funny that you want to share? Post it here!


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-06-2016, 02:22 PM   #12191
SanteeFats
Moderator
 
SanteeFats's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Santee, Ca
Posts: 13,896
Thanks: 73,670
Thanked 173,747 Times in 13,797 Posts
SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+
Default


Two Irishmen friends are drinking together at one of their homes. One friend takes out a bottle of Irish whiskey and asks the other, "Will you pour this bottle out on my grave if I die first?" His friend replies, "Do you mind if I pass it through my kidneys first?"
__________________
TANSTAFL- There ain't no such thing as a free lunch
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Thanks to original posters.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
SanteeFats is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 20 Users Say Thank You to SanteeFats For This Useful Post:
Old 12-06-2016, 03:17 PM   #12192
tygrkhat40
Long Suffering Bills Fan
 
tygrkhat40's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: The City of Good Neighbors
Posts: 9,410
Thanks: 285,364
Thanked 121,844 Times in 9,395 Posts
tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SanteeFats View Post
Two Irishmen friends are drinking together at one of their homes. One friend takes out a bottle of Irish whiskey and asks the other, "Will you pour this bottle out on my grave if I die first?" His friend replies, "Do you mind if I pass it through my kidneys first?"
I think the only thing older than that joke is dirt. But only by about a week.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

tygrkhat40 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to tygrkhat40 For This Useful Post:
Old 12-06-2016, 03:29 PM   #12193
deadman76
Vintage Member
 
deadman76's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Living Room
Posts: 592
Thanks: 6,760
Thanked 6,817 Times in 594 Posts
deadman76 25000+deadman76 25000+deadman76 25000+deadman76 25000+deadman76 25000+deadman76 25000+deadman76 25000+deadman76 25000+deadman76 25000+deadman76 25000+deadman76 25000+
Default

Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly.

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water
deadman76 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 21 Users Say Thank You to deadman76 For This Useful Post:
Old 12-06-2016, 05:14 PM   #12194
MaxJoker
I Beg To Differ Sir .....
 
MaxJoker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
Posts: 27,929
Thanks: 209,577
Thanked 413,414 Times in 28,097 Posts
MaxJoker 1000000+MaxJoker 1000000+MaxJoker 1000000+MaxJoker 1000000+MaxJoker 1000000+MaxJoker 1000000+MaxJoker 1000000+MaxJoker 1000000+MaxJoker 1000000+MaxJoker 1000000+MaxJoker 1000000+
Red face

Guess who I saw today ? ,

Everybody I looked at !
__________________
My hypocrisy only goes so
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
MaxJoker is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to MaxJoker For This Useful Post:
Old 12-07-2016, 01:22 PM   #12195
trailmaster
Veteran Member
 
trailmaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 11,706
Thanks: 830,607
Thanked 128,743 Times in 11,801 Posts
trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+
Smile

A panda walk into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says. "For what?" The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves."
trailmaster is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to trailmaster For This Useful Post:
Old 12-08-2016, 02:05 PM   #12196
trailmaster
Veteran Member
 
trailmaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 11,706
Thanks: 830,607
Thanked 128,743 Times in 11,801 Posts
trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+
Smile

Two guys sneak into a farmer's orchard and start eating the fruit. The farmer sees them and comes out with a shotgun. "Since you guys like fruit so much go pick 100 of whatever fruit you want," said the farmer. The first guy decides to pick grapes. When he gets 100 he goes back to the farmer. The farmer says, "Now shove 'em all up your ass." The guy gets all 100 up his ass. He feels really bad, but then he starts to laugh. "Why are you laughing?" askes the farmer. And the guy replies, "My friend is out picking watermelons!"
trailmaster is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to trailmaster For This Useful Post:
Old 12-08-2016, 03:22 PM   #12197
SanteeFats
Moderator
 
SanteeFats's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Santee, Ca
Posts: 13,896
Thanks: 73,670
Thanked 173,747 Times in 13,797 Posts
SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+SanteeFats 750000+
Default

If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

At a wedding party recently, someone yelled, "All the married men, please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living!" The bartender was crushed to death.
__________________
TANSTAFL- There ain't no such thing as a free lunch
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Thanks to original posters.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
SanteeFats is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to SanteeFats For This Useful Post:
Old 12-08-2016, 03:52 PM   #12198
Staffsyeoman
Vintage Member
 
Staffsyeoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,093
Thanks: 15,215
Thanked 10,033 Times in 1,093 Posts
Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+Staffsyeoman 50000+
Default

A Viking warrior, Rudolf is one of the earliest scientists, particularly interested in what will be known as meteorology. Rudolf is a tall, luxuriantly ginger haired and bearded man. In fact, his sense and use of mosses is uncanny, and his group consult him before boarding ship heading for pillage. His wife is less certain. One day, Rudolf goes out of the hut, sniffs the air and looks at the moss. "Hmm... postpone sailing... high winds and precipitation imminent.." "What rubbish! How can you be sure by sniffiing!" says the wife. "Rudolf The Red knows rain, dear...."
Staffsyeoman is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to Staffsyeoman For This Useful Post:
Old 12-09-2016, 01:40 PM   #12199
trailmaster
Veteran Member
 
trailmaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 11,706
Thanks: 830,607
Thanked 128,743 Times in 11,801 Posts
trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+trailmaster 500000+
Smile

A daughter asked her mother, "Mom, how do you spell 'scrotum'?" Her mom replied, "Honey, you should have asked me last night--it was on the tip of my tongue."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man and his wife are having a big argument at breakfast. He shouted at her, "You aren't so good in bed either!" then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. "What took you so long to answer?" he asked. "I was in bed," she replied. "What were you donig in bed this late?" She replied, "Getting a second opinion."
trailmaster is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to trailmaster For This Useful Post:
Old 12-09-2016, 03:13 PM   #12200
tygrkhat40
Long Suffering Bills Fan
 
tygrkhat40's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: The City of Good Neighbors
Posts: 9,410
Thanks: 285,364
Thanked 121,844 Times in 9,395 Posts
tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+tygrkhat40 500000+
Default

A long married couple are sitting watching TV when the husband smacks his wife in the head saying, "That's for being a lousy lay!" Ten minutes later she smacks him back saying, "That's for knowing the difference!"
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

tygrkhat40 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to tygrkhat40 For This Useful Post:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump




All times are GMT. The time now is 06:42 PM.






vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.6.1 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2018 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.