The Senior Citizens Thread

**@llatse@** · September 1st, 2016, 02:10 PM

Given that you have to be of a certain age to enjoy VEF

Here goes the signs of ageing

You know you're getting old when......

Your back goes out more than you do.

You fancy the new Prime Minister (post Brexit vote)

Your wardrobe is coming back into fashion.

I'm sure you guys (and laydees) out there can think of more

**Sir Honkers** · September 1st, 2016, 10:44 PM

You get a letter from Centrelink advising you that you are eligible to apply for the aged pension in another two months.

**@llatse@** · September 2nd, 2016, 10:38 AM

You look forward to getting junk mail.....it's like someone cares.

You start to read stretch pants ads in the paper.

You compete with your friends in swapping tales of ailments.

You used to find the Simpsons Springfield Retirement Home gags funny.....now its just oh so true....."Thank you for not mentioning the world outside"

**bloke57** · September 12th, 2016, 01:00 PM

You really, really fancy your hot young co-worker. I mean blimey, she's only 52 and has a great arse. Practically illegal!

**@llatse@** · September 12th, 2016, 02:29 PM

You go to bed 49 yrs old and, bodily, everything works okayish.........you wake up 50 and everything's broken.

**tygrkhat40** · September 12th, 2016, 02:52 PM

You used to brag about your bouts of intoxication, now you complain about your chronic meds.

gaeldom · September 12th, 2016, 05:21 PM

When I go to gigs now. Instead of having a few 'herbal' cigarettes, I find that I have to pop a couple of Ibuprofen.

**bloke57** · September 12th, 2016, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gaeldom

When I go to gigs now. Instead of having a few 'herbal' cigarettes, I find that I have to pop a couple of Ibuprofen.

Careful now you reckless young drug fiend.

Two of those with my dodgy stomach and I'd be on the bog all night.

Mind you, having said that, when I do go to a gig these days at least the band are my age or older.

**Sir Honkers** · September 12th, 2016, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by @llatse@

You go to bed 49 yrs old and, bodily, everything works okayish.........you wake up 50 and everything's broken.

Still, at least at fifty, it can be repaired. At sixty, the doctor just shakes his head sadly and says, 'we have to expect these things as we get older.'

**Arturo2nd** · September 12th, 2016, 11:30 PM

My mantra is "I hurt therefore I am."

Our aches and pains let us know we haven't died in our sleep.

Other joys of the "Golden Years" (so called because of the stains on underwear from incontinence):

Having a bowel movement is cause for celebration.

When advised to be cautious about sexual activity, you wonder if that means the lies or the memories.

You have more hair in your ears than on the top of your head.

From my 91 year old father, "Some days I read the obituaries and everybody in there was younger than I am."

September 1st, 2016, 02:10 PM	#1
@llatse@ Vintage Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Over the hills and far away Posts: 2,150 Thanks: 7,748 Thanked 24,861 Times in 2,098 Posts	The Senior Citizens Thread Given that you have to be of a certain age to enjoy VEF Here goes the signs of ageing You know you're getting old when...... Your back goes out more than you do. You fancy the new Prime Minister (post Brexit vote) Your wardrobe is coming back into fashion. I'm sure you guys (and laydees) out there can think of more __________________ Lord, we might end up dead or worse, poor

September 2nd, 2016, 10:38 AM	#3
@llatse@ Vintage Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Over the hills and far away Posts: 2,150 Thanks: 7,748 Thanked 24,861 Times in 2,098 Posts	You look forward to getting junk mail.....it's like someone cares. You start to read stretch pants ads in the paper. You compete with your friends in swapping tales of ailments. You used to find the Simpsons Springfield Retirement Home gags funny.....now its just oh so true....."Thank you for not mentioning the world outside" __________________ Lord, we might end up dead or worse, poor

September 12th, 2016, 02:29 PM	#5
@llatse@ Vintage Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Over the hills and far away Posts: 2,150 Thanks: 7,748 Thanked 24,861 Times in 2,098 Posts	You go to bed 49 yrs old and, bodily, everything works okayish.........you wake up 50 and everything's broken. __________________ Lord, we might end up dead or worse, poor

September 12th, 2016, 02:52 PM	#6
tygrkhat40 Long Suffering Bills Fan Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: The City of Good Neighbors Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 304,243 Thanked 152,528 Times in 9,629 Posts	You used to brag about your bouts of intoxication, now you complain about your chronic meds. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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September 1st, 2016, 10:44 PM	#2
Sir Honkers Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Land Of Glorious Leader Posts: 30,341 Thanks: 286,789 Thanked 386,180 Times in 30,298 Posts	You get a letter from Centrelink advising you that you are eligible to apply for the aged pension in another two months.

September 12th, 2016, 01:00 PM	#4
bloke57 Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: Unaffordable housing Posts: 4,923 Thanks: 31,646 Thanked 68,928 Times in 4,921 Posts	You really, really fancy your hot young co-worker. I mean blimey, she's only 52 and has a great arse. Practically illegal!

September 12th, 2016, 05:21 PM	#7
gaeldom Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 378 Thanks: 3,012 Thanked 5,431 Times in 375 Posts	When I go to gigs now. Instead of having a few 'herbal' cigarettes, I find that I have to pop a couple of Ibuprofen.

September 12th, 2016, 11:30 PM	#10
Arturo2nd Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Oakland, California, United States. I have a beautful view of the BART tracks and I-980 Posts: 8,955 Thanks: 103,061 Thanked 151,470 Times in 8,946 Posts	My mantra is "I hurt therefore I am." Our aches and pains let us know we haven't died in our sleep. Other joys of the "Golden Years" (so called because of the stains on underwear from incontinence): Having a bowel movement is cause for celebration. When advised to be cautious about sexual activity, you wonder if that means the lies or the memories. You have more hair in your ears than on the top of your head. From my 91 year old father, "Some days I read the obituaries and everybody in there was younger than I am."