Does your partner know about your porn or do you hide it?

[broxyman]

Just out of curiosity, how many people here tell their wife, partner or girlfriend about their porn collection? Or do you have to hide it somewhere?

For myself, when we were first married I felt I had to hide the stuff - it was only magazines and it didn't take up too much space at the back of a cupboard. As time went by, though, the collection grew and grew, taking up more and more space. I plucked up courage and told my wife, and she didn't mind at all - she thought it was quite funny! We even used to read the mags together before having sex and act out some of the fantasies in the mags.

Then came the porn videos, DVDs etc, and finally the internet. She remained, and remains, very tolerant of my little addiction, and my huge collection of porn. The only thing she worries about is how to get rid of it all when I die (not for many years yet, I hope).

What's the situation with other people here? Hidden stash of porn, or understanding partner?

[djetz]

Partner? Relationships are no longer part of my life, and may never be again.

Back when I did have a partner - around the turn of the century - I didn't hide my interest in porn, but since I could have actual sex (and really top quality sex it was) on a regular basis, my interest in porn was a lot more casual than it is now.

I would expect, if the seemingly impossible happens and I do get to have a sex life again, my interest in porn will taper off somewhat. Another difficulty is that in the last decade, pubic shaving has become "normal" and I hate that look, so I sometimes comfort myself with the thought that the pretty girls I see in public probably have a nasty ring of stubble around their genitals anyway.

[Caroline-NL]

My ex-partner (japanese girl student), sadly our relationship broke up, after 8 years, was also collecting porn. Because she is lesbian ( I am bi ) only lesbian porn, but she had no problems watching straight porn with me. Girls and women are in the center of most movies. She was a great fan of japanese and korean lesbian porn.
( More extreme movies, I dont want to describe in an US forum )

Before we were affiliated with each other, I had relationships with men.
But especially when I still was living in Germany, men had enormous problems
with a young woman ( or girl, I started to collect with 15 ) that enjoyed porn.
At first, they thought I was fooling them, later they stood amazed, but also
a little bit frightened before my large collection. One even "cutted off" our
contact at once, because he couldnt accept it.
I think it is a much greater taboo for a woman to enjoy porn, as for men.
It seems to be the last "male refugium", after women are even driving formula
one cars and are boxing. I also heard earlier, " if my girlfriend would enjoy porn, that would be great...", but in reality, the reaction was quite the opposite. To be fair, male reaction was much more liberal in the Netherlands, as when I was still in Germany.
But female reaction was even worse.
When I rented a few porn movies in a normal video shop, with 18 in Germany, a women behind me saw this and made very unfriendly comments. "A women renting porn is as normal, as if a pig is walking directly to the butcher."

[delius224]

My wife accepts that I like porn and that I collect stuff. Of course she also knows that I work in the business as a photographer and sometimes as a writer. She herself is not interested in porn, but she does not mind my collection and my interest.
Such women are a rare gem, it seems.

[hairyarse]

Well what can I say, I have found and married one of the few women who actually doesn't mind what I look at. She is open minded and very secure about porn. We like watching and reading together. If she's not in the mood I pop on to the computer and enjoy myself. Too many people have a negative attitude about enjoying themselves and that's a shame. I'm a strong believer in, if it doesn't hurt anybody and you don't push it in peoples faces, whats the harm. Porn has been around thousands of years, be it drawings, films or books, we are only human....ENJOY !!!! :0)

[matokla]

My last ex-girlfriend (relationship lasted almost 7 years) never really accepted my porn collection. She was too much afraid, that i could be more fond of porn than of her. My actual girl doesn't care, she is far more sure about herself and me.

[larryg]

my porn mags & videos etc are just in a box in the corner of the spare room so everytime my partner goes in there she can see them but it doesn't bother her in the slightest despite the fact shes in her mid 50s( quite a few years older than me)and had a very sheltered upbringing.
on occasions (usually after a few drinks) i have showed her a video or two.she mainly likes to see videos of men being dominated or even tortured.that seems to be her favourite porn viewing.it seems to make her laugh even though some of it is as extreme as it gets.
i have showed her other stuff,some of it of a very kinky or perverted nature, but once again it doesn't seem to phase her whatsoever though i doubt she would look at the stuff if i didn't show it her.
oddly enough,we were watching "fanny hill" on bbc2 earlier in the week.ok,some of it was a bit bawdy for telly but could hardly compete with even a mild porn film;"oh my word!", she sat there saying for the duration.
women ehh!.

[imaging]

I read somewhere that more American women view porn than use "sex toys". I was surprised by that, because most women that I know have admitted to toying around with a vibrator on at least one occasion (pun intended). I think that indicates that porn does not have the same stigma as it did even a few years ago.

In my own experience, I have been happily married to a woman for nearly 3 decades who does not mind my interest in porn. In fact, she watches and reads about everything that I do. I know that I am fortunate.

By the way, I have also lived long enough to know that if porn is a problem in a relationship, that the problem lies deeper than the porn. But that, I suppose is a topic for a different forum.

[Mr.Bungle]

Odd, but I'm just in the middle of dealing with this now...

The short version is someone I've been very close to (on all levels) for many years has walked, due to my occasional online viewing.
I'm not ashamed of looking at nekkid ladies on my PC (though it also not something I'd bring up at the dinner table). That, actually, is my only source: I own no videos or magazines.
As I'm sure happens to others, I get a fair bit of outragously titled adult spam e-mail. It doesn't bother me in the least (as I just delete it) but, unfortunately, she started getting targeted when they got to her e-mail through mine.
She's had a very sheltered, and strict, unbringing (not mocking, just stating a fact) and was appalled by these (understandable). She asked if I was getting them as well. I (stupidly?) said "yes" (as it seems like such a non-issue) and she quickly decided I'm a depraved pervert, drooling over all the things the spam describes!

I tried to explain:

A: The spam is random, and has no relation to what I view.
B: I would call it erotica, instead of porn (this got a good laugh).
C: It's a mainly a nostalgia thing for me, admittedly exclusive mostly to guys.
D: It's a very small part of my day, and has absolutely nothing to do with how I view or feel about her.
E: It also has nothing to do with me as a person.

Sadly (for me, anyway), she's decided she can't be around someone who looks at "such things". I mentioned she might look into becoming a nun, as she'll have a hard time finding any man who hasn't looked at similar "things". Difficult times...

[GailFan]

I suffer from depression, psychosis, schziophrenia and Asperger syndrome. I don't have relationships. Pornography is a substitute.