can't get it up when I'm with women I don't know that well... is this normal?

af250xxl · February 20th, 2017, 06:50 PM

can't get it up when I'm with women I don't know that well... is this normal?

for example, new dates... or prostitutes at legal brothels in the US or EU. (yes, I'm not ashamed to admit this)

I've always had this "problem" even as a much younger man. However, if I know the woman well, I get almost an instant boner as soon as I'm in bed with her...

**snowy25** · February 20th, 2017, 06:57 PM

If you can get one with women you know well, then clearly its not a physical but psychological issue. Its most likely performance anxiety kicking in which kills the erection, especially with new dates. Your brain is overloaded with anxiety so its failing to send the right messages to your dick and so not enough blood is getting to where it needs to be. Thus resulting in either a poor erection or none at all.

**bloke57** · February 20th, 2017, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by af250xxl

can't get it up when I'm with women I don't know that well... is this normal?

I wanted you to know that I have always been exactly the same and I get what you are saying completely. To be frank, I like to know a little about that new person - what they are like, their sexual history and standards - before I feel I am fully ready to relax into the relationship. To me that is a perfectly sensible precaution.

So I would characterise myself as a guy who likes relationships - closeness, not just mechanical sex. And if the lady in question is worth the effort, she will be equally understanding and appreciative of the care you put in to getting it to feel "right".

Do things your own way and do not worry about male stereotypes.

**otokonomidori** · February 20th, 2017, 11:02 PM

Happened to me once but it was with a girl I'd known and lusted after for a few years.

She was f*cking gorgeous but for some reason I couldn't get my copulatory organ to perform - hard at each end and soft in the middle it was !!!

Anyway next morning, once the booze and drugs had worn off, it was hard enough to break coal and I gave her a right seeing to!!

**cginok** · February 20th, 2017, 11:21 PM

I think it's performance anxiety, as was mentioned already. You are so worried that she's not going to think you're good enough at it that you can't do it at all. Or, you're so worried that she's going to think your dick isn't big enough, or whatever, that you're too nervous about whipping it out, that it's keeping you from performing. The women you know better aren't causing you to have that problem...I would presume they've already seen your dick and/or you've had sex with them already...because you've gotten past the anxiety point with them.

It's definitely not physical or you wouldn't be able to get it up at all. What the cure is something only you can fix. Meaning, getting past the anxiety point that you're at now.

Estreeter · February 21st, 2017, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by af250xxl

can't get it up when I'm with women I don't know that well... is this normal?

Count yourself lucky, best way to avoid an accident

**bloke57** · February 21st, 2017, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Estreeter

Count yourself lucky, best way to avoid an accident

Exactly! I don't consider myself to have performance anxiety at all - just a natural caution that, I think, has saved me a lot of trouble and potential visits to one of those clinics.

**snowy25** · February 21st, 2017, 10:29 AM

Just remember, and this doesn't apply to the OP, that if you suffer from erectile dysfunction for longer than a few weeks its best to get seen by a Doctor. ED is one of the first signs of potential heart disease and is as good a marker as family history, high blood pressure and other well known signs. The reason is that the arteries to the penis are smaller and if they are clogging up its a sign others will elsewhere. People often just pop a pill and think that is the problem solved. The problem is not solved though as the underlying cause is being ignored.

MaxJoker · February 21st, 2017, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by af250xxl

can't get it up when I'm with women I don't know that well... is this normal?

Yes , for gays

Quote:

Originally Posted by af250xxl

I'm not ashamed to admit this

Nor to starting a thread having thanked less than once for every year you've been a member here

af250xxl
Join Date: Dec 2009 <--

Posts: 32
Thanks: 5 <---

Thanked 52 Times in 17 Posts

Quote:

Originally Posted by af250xxl

However, if I know the woman well, I get almost an instant boner as soon as I'm in bed with her...

I`m sure your sister is rightly grateful

**Boatguy** · February 21st, 2017, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

Yes , for gays

I`m sure your sister is rightly grateful

LMAO....

I think this book may be to your liking Max.

February 20th, 2017, 06:50 PM	#1
af250xxl Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 38 Thanks: 8 Thanked 188 Times in 30 Posts	can't get it up when I'm with women I don't know that well... is this normal? can't get it up when I'm with women I don't know that well... is this normal? for example, new dates... or prostitutes at legal brothels in the US or EU. (yes, I'm not ashamed to admit this) I've always had this "problem" even as a much younger man. However, if I know the woman well, I get almost an instant boner as soon as I'm in bed with her...

February 20th, 2017, 06:57 PM	#2
snowy25 Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 2,274 Thanks: 6,664 Thanked 23,144 Times in 2,260 Posts	If you can get one with women you know well, then clearly its not a physical but psychological issue. Its most likely performance anxiety kicking in which kills the erection, especially with new dates. Your brain is overloaded with anxiety so its failing to send the right messages to your dick and so not enough blood is getting to where it needs to be. Thus resulting in either a poor erection or none at all.

February 20th, 2017, 11:02 PM	#4
otokonomidori 緑の男 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Jockistan, UK. Posts: 8,316 Thanks: 39,023 Thanked 122,415 Times in 8,316 Posts	Happened to me once but it was with a girl I'd known and lusted after for a few years. She was f*cking gorgeous but for some reason I couldn't get my copulatory organ to perform - hard at each end and soft in the middle it was !!! Anyway next morning, once the booze and drugs had worn off, it was hard enough to break coal and I gave her a right seeing to!!

February 20th, 2017, 11:21 PM	#5
cginok Vintage Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 603 Thanks: 61 Thanked 5,414 Times in 594 Posts	I think it's performance anxiety, as was mentioned already. You are so worried that she's not going to think you're good enough at it that you can't do it at all. Or, you're so worried that she's going to think your dick isn't big enough, or whatever, that you're too nervous about whipping it out, that it's keeping you from performing. The women you know better aren't causing you to have that problem...I would presume they've already seen your dick and/or you've had sex with them already...because you've gotten past the anxiety point with them. It's definitely not physical or you wouldn't be able to get it up at all. What the cure is something only you can fix. Meaning, getting past the anxiety point that you're at now.

February 21st, 2017, 10:29 AM	#8
snowy25 Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 2,274 Thanks: 6,664 Thanked 23,144 Times in 2,260 Posts	Just remember, and this doesn't apply to the OP, that if you suffer from erectile dysfunction for longer than a few weeks its best to get seen by a Doctor. ED is one of the first signs of potential heart disease and is as good a marker as family history, high blood pressure and other well known signs. The reason is that the arteries to the penis are smaller and if they are clogging up its a sign others will elsewhere. People often just pop a pill and think that is the problem solved. The problem is not solved though as the underlying cause is being ignored.