Forum Members CV`s - Page 2

nckgmd · May 22nd, 2014, 09:50 AM

I failed every subject at school... I'm an excellent failer...

Estreeter · May 22nd, 2014, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nckgmd

I failed every subject at school... I'm an excellent failer...

How the hell does one fail at art

Finger painting ain't exactly hard

MaxJoker · May 22nd, 2014, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Estreeter

Finger painting ain't exactly hard

Can be for some

Quote:

Originally Posted by nckgmd

I failed every subject at school... I'm an excellent failer...

Don't worry , you're making up for it by being such a consistent thanker

**amantpoche** · May 22nd, 2014, 02:14 PM

sex: pink
size: it depends on the time

Studies: twelve years of corner in corner, received with honours

Prefessionnal qualification: Inspector of works finished

Experience in Business: not talking thing that angry

Fitness for the work: I love the work, I spend my time to contemplate

Requested salary: the same as the boss + some benefit in kind
If the boss's wife is cute

Availability: I can sign the contract now, for the rest, to negotiate

**Greenman** · May 22nd, 2014, 07:43 PM

I've been a professional layabout for years, Shelley has nothing on me(if you remember that tv series of the 80s with Hywel Bennet) and I have a degree is niceness which has been sorely tested in recent years. I can draw with both hands, play the guitar(well I say play, I strum out of tune) with my left hand, while my right one has frets about the frets

I am ambidextrous which comes in useful if I ever strain one of my wrists and in my spare time I collect dust-being in an attic it does make it easy

I make it a rule to shout ARSE!! about three times a day and once hailed a cab as Nero in a toga As Blackadder once said "I'm off to Hartlepool to buy some exploding trousers" No wonder the bottom fell out the trouser market!

(Some of these facts are real, some are made up, you be the judge)

nckgmd · June 8th, 2014, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Estreeter

How the hell does one fail at art

Finger painting ain't exactly hard

Because the teacher I had for art was a real hippy. He said in the first lesson that art was something that came from your imagination and you can't always be imaginative stuck in a school room. So if you want to go outside and do your art you can. So my mate and I looked at each other and said "Is he for real"? So we slowly got up grabbed a board some paper and pencils went outside. He said nothing. All right we thought. So we did every lesson except the last one which he came out and got us and said "you've turned no art in nothing for the whole semester"... The only time I've ever seen an angry hippy.. Well not the only time you see them on the news angry when they're going to cut tree's or take their welfare away... Like I said I'm an excellent failer...

**billybunter** · June 8th, 2014, 08:10 AM

Name BB

HNC in engineering

Coded welder

Sex education, back of a high ace van

suspended for being unruly and smoking

nckgmd · June 13th, 2014, 10:25 AM

I have only ever passed 3 things in my life. One of them was a boiler attendant certificate.. Fairly hard course. Everyone from the company in the past 10 years had failed.. The main reason for this was there were 3 pubs located in the area of the college and they would turn up drunk. I passed because I cheated. There was lots to remember. I had written pie diagrams of burn cycles and blow down cycles going all the way up my arms.. The company was very impressed they thought I would be the one that failed (the other two did). So I told them I cheated. As it went around the factory all these bosses were kicking my arse saying how important it was I knew my job correctly. I pissed them off even more by saying I had worked at this place for the last two years and I'm still not sure what we are making... But the big boss patted me on the shoulder saying I had to do what I had to do....

MaxJoker · June 13th, 2014, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billybunter

suspended for being unruly and smoking

Sheesh they suspended you for smoking

Hardly you`re fault in being born sexy was it

**billybunter** · June 13th, 2014, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxJoker

Sheesh they suspended you for smoking

Hardly you`re fault in being born sexy was it

I always wondered why they said have you a light huni.

May 22nd, 2014, 07:43 PM	#15
Greenman Live Legend of VEF Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Underground lair somewhere in the world Posts: 20,353 Thanks: 30,936 Thanked 383,516 Times in 19,356 Posts	I've been a professional layabout for years, Shelley has nothing on me(if you remember that tv series of the 80s with Hywel Bennet) and I have a degree is niceness which has been sorely tested in recent years. I can draw with both hands, play the guitar(well I say play, I strum out of tune) with my left hand, while my right one has frets about the frets I am ambidextrous which comes in useful if I ever strain one of my wrists and in my spare time I collect dust-being in an attic it does make it easy I make it a rule to shout ARSE!! about three times a day and once hailed a cab as Nero in a toga As Blackadder once said "I'm off to Hartlepool to buy some exploding trousers" No wonder the bottom fell out the trouser market! (Some of these facts are real, some are made up, you be the judge) __________________ There was only ONE Greenman, and you accepted no substitutes! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Rest in peace MaxJoker-you will be sorely missed. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. 20,000: Milestone reached!

June 8th, 2014, 08:10 AM	#17
billybunter R.I.P. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Gone But Not Forgotten Posts: 14,404 Thanks: 51,687 Thanked 252,372 Times in 14,171 Posts	Name BB HNC in engineering Coded welder Sex education, back of a high ace van suspended for being unruly and smoking __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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May 22nd, 2014, 09:50 AM	#11
nckgmd Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Posts: 325 Thanks: 736 Thanked 2,358 Times in 295 Posts	I failed every subject at school... I'm an excellent failer...

May 22nd, 2014, 02:14 PM	#14
amantpoche Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 5,859 Thanks: 68,850 Thanked 199,657 Times in 6,832 Posts	sex: pink size: it depends on the time Studies: twelve years of corner in corner, received with honours Prefessionnal qualification: Inspector of works finished Experience in Business: not talking thing that angry Fitness for the work: I love the work, I spend my time to contemplate Requested salary: the same as the boss + some benefit in kind If the boss's wife is cute Availability: I can sign the contract now, for the rest, to negotiate

June 13th, 2014, 10:25 AM	#18
nckgmd Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Posts: 325 Thanks: 736 Thanked 2,358 Times in 295 Posts	I have only ever passed 3 things in my life. One of them was a boiler attendant certificate.. Fairly hard course. Everyone from the company in the past 10 years had failed.. The main reason for this was there were 3 pubs located in the area of the college and they would turn up drunk. I passed because I cheated. There was lots to remember. I had written pie diagrams of burn cycles and blow down cycles going all the way up my arms.. The company was very impressed they thought I would be the one that failed (the other two did). So I told them I cheated. As it went around the factory all these bosses were kicking my arse saying how important it was I knew my job correctly. I pissed them off even more by saying I had worked at this place for the last two years and I'm still not sure what we are making... But the big boss patted me on the shoulder saying I had to do what I had to do....