Joan Van Ark

[johnbear]

[johnbear]

http://imgbox.com/g/2dXUST60JM

[Wendigo]

The Rockford Files (1974–1980)
s2 e8 - Resurrection in Black & White
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0688038/

[drumskinwave5]

[Findcandor]

.



A couple of disappointments have been registered on this thread begun all the way back in 2007 by Member "Lovegod" (disappeared from VEF for the last unlucky thirteen years); he wrote: "Joan is one of the foxiest babes in Hollywood, so it's surprising how few pics i can find out there on the web, maybe some other folk on the forum will have better luck?" No one took him up on the idea, and he returned half-a-year later — beginning his Post #2 with a charming "blimey," and throwing in a few more shots he scraped off the web. Afterwards, no one else pitched in for over a year. Finally, a couple of other members broke the silence on poor Joan Van Ark, and then Vintage Member "Brianwp" (who has stuck with the forum for all of this time, albeit now absent for a year) expressed his own season of discontentment, back in 2009:

Originally Posted by brianwp

Brian, here. You know, this really ticked me off. I googled Joan for some pictures, and all I found were articles about her cosmetic surgery...lots of them. I gave up after 20 pages. It's true, her facelifts don't look so good, but my God, can't they talk about anything else? I mean, literally 95% of the images were of her facelift! I get it, already! If I were her, and I googled myself and saw all that mess, I'd want to hang myself! Damn, people are cruel! Really pisses me off. Ok, sorry, had to vent a little there. I just feel kinda bad for her.

I think Lovegod was on to something when he sized Ms. Van Ark up as among "the foxiest babes." Besides her enticing looks, the actress has been an important fixture on the screen (mainly the less exciting television screen) since she got going in 1967 at the age of twenty-four (the theater had occupied the lady earlier, as lovingly detailed on her IMDb bio page; to hear her tell it from this interview that will also be referenced later, her "first big break was Barefoot In the Park. I think I was 19 or 20, and it was directed by Mike Nichols. Myrna Loy played my mother on the national tour with Dick Benjamin as my husband"), and she kept at it until she racked up over one hundred credits (a good number of which happened to be in starring or semi-starring roles).


Caption for the above read: "Joan Van Ark, who is set to
star in the Neil Simon comedy 'Barefoot in the Park' on
Broadway, 1965." The second photo was dated Jan. 25,
1963 (Joan was twenty) as she participated in a "program
for ushers (of junior high school age) at the Bonfils
Theater" in New York City.

So why the lack of VEF attention? Lovegod was on to something else when he added in his beginning post, "Her name in Dutch means 'Joan of ARC'"; Naturally, the 15th century French heroine had later been ordained as a saint, and although (luckily) our Joan was not burned at the stake to get that status, seems she has worked pretty hard to safeguard her womanly wares.


1979

The reason why I drove by this thread had to do with watching "There's One in Every Port," Joan's last of three appearances on The Rockford Files (earlier, she was in two episodes from 1974 and 1975, the latter for which Member "Wendigo" presented screen caps as you may see just two posts above), this one from 1977, and where she played the daughter of Howard Duff (pictured below in the second and third rows), where both had pulled a con on the show's hero, and the hero countered-conned them in the rest of the show.







I should say, the father was conned, and the daughter allowed for her father to get conned, which was hardly realistic; at show's end, daughter asked Rockford not to hate her, and proposed a dinner date, which Rockford happily accepted. I guess he couldn't help himself since, let's face it, she was one of the foxiest babes around. When a babe is foxy, the brain turns into mush, and we may easily assign the fox to guard the chicken coop.


The aforementioned interview turned out to be top-heavy on Joan's ROCKFORD FILES
experience. Among other ditties such as how Garner made her feel very comfortable: "Jim
said to me, 'Take off some of the eye makeup. You work a lot, but think about all the jobs
you may have lost because of the eye makeup.' That has stuck with me ever since then."

All right, Joan was foxy; we got it. And yet, why in the world did she put in a second set of eyebrows over her natural ones? Was that regarded as an attempt to look prettier, back in dem days?



Let's put aside this compelling mystery and now see if we may get a better idea of the woman, through these next views.

...
Joan appeared in three back-to-back western TV series in 1969, and sandwiched between BONANZA and GUNSMOKE
was THE GUNS OF WILL SONNETT. In the following year, as pictured in the next two photos, Joan was in the "Love
and the Proposal" episode of LOVE, AMERICAN STYLE, with her love interest played by Warren Berlinger.


Two years later, Joan Van Ark returned to LOVE, AMERICAN STYLE, in the episode
entitled, "Love and the Triple Threat." She reunited with Warren Berlinger again,
although the love interest this time was played by Christopher Connelly.


Joan came on board for the Battle of the Network Stars five times (as
part of the CBS team) between 1980-1983 (in episodes II, IX, XII, XIII,
XV) and was the host in 1985's XVIII. This show has served as a boon for
those of Vintage Erotica Forum, allowing for female stars (when stars
were stars) to parade their assets. Maybe Joan allowed for some intimate
views during some of her appearances, as well.



From "A Night To Dismember," a 1972 episode of THE ODD COUPLE with Jack Klugman and Tony Randall. Next, Hawkeye
fell for Joan in a second season episode of M*A*S*H from 1973. Finally, a 1984 episode of THE LOVE BOAT, with Alex Rocco.


Joan Van Ark appeared in roughly half the episodes of the 1972–1974 sitcom The New Temperatures Rising Show, along with fellow nurses Nancy
Fox and Reva Rose. Elizabeth Montgomery suggested the casting of Cleavon Little for the lead, not initially meant to be Black, to her producer
husband. Jive talking Little was a thorn in the side of chief of surgery James Whitmore, especially when the three nurses were in collusion. Paul
Lynde replaced Whitmore in the second season, and most of the supporting cast (including Joan) was also replaced, messing with the dynamic,
possibly expediting the show's cancellation.


All of that was fine and dandy, but what we really want to see is Joan in as natural a state as possible. As indicated, good luck finding views of the lady in an undraped state (heck, you heard some members complain they could barely find anything on her, with or without clothing), but let's see what we may do.


Thing is, practically speaking, her entire screen career was spent in television. I have confirmed this now by looking through her list of credits. All she has been in have been TV shows and TV movies (in the days before cable-TV, when serious spice was disallowed). Not long after the beginning of her screen career, there was one exception: the "Nature Attacks" horror film from 1972, Frogs (starring Ray Milland).




In a 10-minute 2015 interview that was oddly released as Frogs: Buried in Frogs with Joan Van Ark,
the actress evidently explains that she wanted to do the film mainly for the chance of working with
hunk Sam Elliott and also because her father was a huge fan of Ray Milland. Joan was third-billed
in FROGS, impressively indicating star power at this early stage of her game.




This was an American International picture, increasing the odds of some sexy hijinks, but there was nothing of the kind. The extent of flesh and figure our lady sparingly bared amounted to the following.






At first I thought The Last Dinosaur (1977) was a TV movie (a Rankin / Bass production, the company famed for family fare), but I suppose it was theatrically released. (Let's hit that pause button; just read an IMDb review claiming the film was "made into a Friday Night ABC Movie of The Week"; that is, the theatrical plan was foiled.) Wealthy oilman and big-game hunter Richard Boone organizes an expedition to a valley discovered by his oil-drilling teams, where a T-Rex is on the prowl. Joan Van Ark plays a photojournalist who keeps everything professional, thank you.


Boone is at left; in the next photo, Masumi Sekiya was a Japanese actress who
appeared in little else. This was a Japanese co-production, and the company from
that nation was headed by the craftsman behind the special effects for the Toho/
Godzilla films.

Once Ms. Van Ark was cast in her career-making role of "Valerie Ewing" in 1978, she was in the pink until 1993 with two hugely successful TV series, the nighttime soaps Dallas and Knots Landing. There were probably occasions where she was required to "get sexy" (see second photo with raunchy promise below, although it looks like the one getting sexy was Donna Mills) but one would need to be a disciple of these programs to sort the wheat from the "shaft."


The "Knots" gang returned in the 1997 made-for-TV mini-series movie, Knots
Landing: Back to the Cul-de-Sac. Pictured left to right: William Devane, Donna
Mills, Ted Shackelford, Joan Van Ark, Michele Lee and Kevin Dobson. Man in the
last shot is Ted Shackelford.

In other words, we may understand why the actress felt no drive to be pulled from her television safe haven. It was not until 2000 when she had occasion to appear in another feature film, the direct-to-video thriller, Held For Ransom.

...
.................................................. ...... Morgan Fairchild plays another distraught mom.

Dennis Hopper kidnaps spoiled high school kids and demands a quarter-million for the safe release of Joan's child. IMDb reviewer "FloridaFred" wrote, "Aging dolls Joan Van Ark and Morgan Fairchild are brought in for name recognition. They get 3 lines each!" At least Morgan showed some skin (of sorts), as seen above; Joan maintained her famously decorous self.


After this film, Joan appeared in five more features, but by then it was too late; her glamour period was behind her. For example, she mentions in that interview linked above that in Watercolor Postcards, a 2014 independent feature, "I didn’t wear a stitch of makeup, and they spray painted me white and put spots on me to play a terminal cancer patient." Her character was "Momma," or as she described it, "Texas trailer trash." Looks like she only started to branch out with roles against type very late in her career.

........
In 1981, Joan was with her KNOTS LANDING husband, Ted Shackelford, at an
ABC-TV charity special of 'The United Cerebral Palsy Telethon.' In the next photo,
Joan Van Ark and husband John Marshall (high school sweetheart and former TV
newsman, whom she married in 1966) arrive at the 38th Annual Lifetime
Achievement Award honoring Mike Nichols, on June 10, 2010.

When she was sixty-two, Joan appeared in Diamond Zero (2005), a black comedy that seems not only very difficult to find, but to find anything about. (It starred Tippi Hedren!) The plot regards a method where diamonds are constructed of human remains, and of the four suspiciously too-favorable IMDb reviews, this one caught my eye.

This Movie Includes the SEX BOMB JOAN VAN ARK!!
All I remember about this movie is that the SEXY Joan Van Ark is in it wearing sexy clothing!! ...In the first scene she is drunk or just crazy and in a bar wearing a sexy see through top, black bra and hot, tight black pants. The bar is dark though so you can't fully see her hot body in the see through shirt! I had to turn up the brightness and lightness on my TV settings to the highest, but I still couldn't see to the fullest! Arrest lighting people, stupid cows! Joan acts drunk in the best acting I've seen in my life! This woman is just beyond a super hero!!! She falls down drunk in the club with her lip gloss and her top flies up to show her HOT stomach! ...Her shirt flies up again (thank you god)! Then they take her home... the sex machine tries to climb over the gate complete with amazing wardrobe malfunctions again! Then it cuts to her waking up in bed with one of the guys! She gets up out of bed and sits up on the side of the bed and shows her total naked back (it was heaven) and then puts a robe on, there is also some side boob showing!! I couldn't relax after watching this movie! It's better than dirty magazines!!!

Joan Van Ark a "sex bomb"? Since when? Regardless, if the description above is accurate, it would appear Joan finally consented to show her sexy side off, and even with some "nudity." Too bad she waited so long.


First: At the 7th Annual TV Land Awards at Gibson Amphitheatre on April 19, 2009. Second: Attending
a media preview for 'Murder, Lust and Madness' on March 24, 2016. Last: Participating in a "Real Love
Boat Series Kick-off Party" with Princess Cruises on October 1, 2022.

For lack of her movie roles, I wondered if we may get lucky (in terms of some sex appeal, anyway) with other television appearances. Her presence in a 1978 Wonder Woman episode carried potential (maybe she was featured in a revealing costume... talk about grasping for straws), but no such luck. Interestingly, she appeared in a non-characteristic (for her) villainous sort of role, a time traveler from the future who plans on making a fortune.


Actor in second photo is Allan Miller. Her eyebrows were sky-high again.

Joan Van Ark was also in a 1972 Night Gallery episode ("The Ring with the Red Velvet Ropes") where boxer Gary Collins is transported to a strange place and told he must fight Chuck Connors (second photo below), who has a knack for winning. His wife was played by Joan, and the role gave her a rare opportunity to be somewhat seductive.




Member "Winnter," in his Post #7 from 2009, did a very good job of presenting many screen caps from Joan's couple of appearances from the television show Quark (a comedic "Star Trek" type of show starring Richard Benjamin, which unfortunately did not last long. Benjamin, as we learned earlier, played Joan's husband in the 1960s stage production of Barefoot in the Park) where she was dressed in a flimsy garment:

Originally Posted by Winnter

]

Having now checked, the two part 1978 episodes Ms. Van Ark appeared in had her play the role of "Princess Libido," which sounded as though this may have been the closest she came (during her prime) to exhibiting her inner female animal. I sought the episodes and am supplementing with these new screen caps:

Originally Posted by togolane

Mannix:The Girl in the Polka Dot Dress

Member Togolane's 2017 post revealed Joan at least appeared in a swimsuit (not even a bikini, darn it), leading me to dig the episode up (since not much could be made from the thumbnails; too bad what I wound up with was not of the best quality):












It was only after I dug up what is below did I notice that Member "Peepcreep" (gone for a dozen years from VEF, but not forgotten. Okay, he may have been forgotten, but I just reminded you) had come up with swimsuit photos (in his Post #4 from 2009) of our lady from the 1981 TV movie, Red Flag: The Ultimate Game (regarding the trials of an Air Force training school); luckily, the views below came from a different part of the movie.







.........


Joan's last role of note (save for two subsequent voice jobs) was in the Lifetime thriller from 2017, Psycho Wedding Crasher, where she played a monstrous aunt (also uncommonly appearing as a brunette). She really branched out into offbeat territory, but (again) unfortunately, late in her career.




The gossipy British paper, The Daily Mail, ran a mid-2022 article with somewhat disheartening photos of the "notoriously private" actress (when she was shy of seventy-nine), claimed to have been out of sight from public view for three years. The lady is maintaining a website, sometimes reporting on her latest activities: https://www.joanvanark.com/













.