Post your corny jokes - Page 1474

**Mal Hombre** · May 30th, 2019, 09:44 AM

Sorry that's not Gouda enough...

**effCup** · May 30th, 2019, 10:06 AM

Well, we could always bung in a religious angle:

Q: Which sort of cheese is the most religious?
A: Swiss, because it's holy.

And speaking of Federer, I mean Feta:

Q: What did one cheese say to the other?
A: Something smells Swiss-picious!

**seldomseen** · May 30th, 2019, 11:53 AM

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine."

**Mister Fide** · May 30th, 2019, 01:28 PM

Female patient to male dentist..........
"I would rather go through the pain of having a baby than have my tooth out."

Dentist replies, "Well make your mind up because it will mean lowering the chair."

**mrfixit** · May 30th, 2019, 01:40 PM

**Sir Honkers** · May 30th, 2019, 10:53 PM

Q:What's fifty feet long, has a slack jaw and only three teeth?
A: The funnel cake line at the Arkansas State Fair.

**effCup** · May 31st, 2019, 06:30 AM

Hardly a joke, but perhaps still amusing?:

At the armistice in 1918, Winston Churchill's private secretary declared that he was so grateful for the American contribution to the victory that he wanted to kiss Uncle Sam 'on both cheeks'. Churchill retorted: 'But not on all four.'
- James Barr, 2018, Lords of the Desert, p.5.

**trailmaster** · May 31st, 2019, 12:42 PM

A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway, and he started chasing after the speeder. When he got close, he saw it was a woman who was knitting while driving. The cop yelled "Pull over!" She shouted back, "No, It's a sweater!"

**gedly** · May 31st, 2019, 02:20 PM

Honestly, all these people who moan about the price of things.
Cup of tea; £2.00
Cup of coffee; £2.50
Sandwich; £3.00
Slice of cake; £1.50
Piece of fruit; £1.00

That's the last time I'm having my friends and neighbours round at my house.

MaxJoker · May 31st, 2019, 04:40 PM

How do birds fly ? ,

They just wing it.

May 30th, 2019, 09:44 AM	#14731
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,134 Thanks: 772,663 Thanked 855,758 Times in 57,565 Posts	Sorry that's not Gouda enough... __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

May 30th, 2019, 11:53 AM	#14733
seldomseen Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 38,203 Thanks: 127,400 Thanked 711,984 Times in 38,112 Posts	Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine." __________________ -------------------------------------------------------------- Some hae meat, and canna eat.

May 30th, 2019, 01:40 PM	#14735
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,853 Thanked 114,823 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

May 31st, 2019, 04:40 PM	#14740
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,564 Times in 69,067 Posts	How do birds fly ? , They just wing it. __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

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May 30th, 2019, 10:06 AM	#14732
effCup *Vintage Idiot* Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: History Posts: 22,133 Thanks: 226,710 Thanked 356,741 Times in 21,628 Posts	Well, we could always bung in a religious angle: Q: Which sort of cheese is the most religious? A: Swiss, because it's holy. And speaking of Federer, I mean Feta: Q: What did one cheese say to the other? A: Something smells Swiss-picious!

May 30th, 2019, 01:28 PM	#14734
Mister Fide Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Nearly there Posts: 892 Thanks: 23,075 Thanked 17,987 Times in 890 Posts	Female patient to male dentist.......... "I would rather go through the pain of having a baby than have my tooth out." Dentist replies, "Well make your mind up because it will mean lowering the chair."

May 30th, 2019, 10:53 PM	#14736
Sir Honkers Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Land Of Glorious Leader Posts: 30,343 Thanks: 286,836 Thanked 386,203 Times in 30,298 Posts	Q:What's fifty feet long, has a slack jaw and only three teeth? A: The funnel cake line at the Arkansas State Fair.

May 31st, 2019, 06:30 AM	#14737
effCup *Vintage Idiot* Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: History Posts: 22,133 Thanks: 226,710 Thanked 356,741 Times in 21,628 Posts	Hardly a joke, but perhaps still amusing?: At the armistice in 1918, Winston Churchill's private secretary declared that he was so grateful for the American contribution to the victory that he wanted to kiss Uncle Sam 'on both cheeks'. Churchill retorted: 'But not on all four.' - James Barr, 2018, Lords of the Desert, p.5.

May 31st, 2019, 12:42 PM	#14738
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,898 Thanks: 1,329,029 Thanked 707,243 Times in 60,072 Posts	A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway, and he started chasing after the speeder. When he got close, he saw it was a woman who was knitting while driving. The cop yelled "Pull over!" She shouted back, "No, It's a sweater!"

May 31st, 2019, 02:20 PM	#14739
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,883 Thanked 69,311 Times in 3,171 Posts	Honestly, all these people who moan about the price of things. Cup of tea; £2.00 Cup of coffee; £2.50 Sandwich; £3.00 Slice of cake; £1.50 Piece of fruit; £1.00 That's the last time I'm having my friends and neighbours round at my house.