Post your corny jokes - Page 1304

**ball7** · February 15th, 2018, 10:54 AM

My wife likes to smoke after sex
or so her boyfriend told me

**maildude** · February 16th, 2018, 12:09 AM

Me Being A Smartass: Chapter 2--Dealing With Children

Little Boy: Hey, Mister. Can I have a dollar for a soda?

Me: First, kid, let me see the soda.

**machman** · February 16th, 2018, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ball7

My wife likes to smoke after sex
or so her boyfriend told me

OMG, thank you,.. for all these years i know realize why so many women have slapped me in the face.
I thought it was the other way around, and always thought I had sex after a cigarette.

**rosestone** · February 16th, 2018, 10:59 AM

I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage. The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity.

**ball7** · February 16th, 2018, 11:26 AM

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

Because he was polar.

Why did the ghost ride the elevator?

To lift his spirits.

**trailmaster** · February 16th, 2018, 11:28 AM

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

**bfg9000** · February 16th, 2018, 04:45 PM

Q: What would singer Ella Fitzgerald's name be if she married Darth Vader?

A: Elevator! (Ella Vader)

scotpens · February 16th, 2018, 05:03 PM

We'd like to introduce you to Miss Helen Waite, our credit manager. If you want credit, go to Helen Waite.

**Mal Hombre** · February 16th, 2018, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ball7

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

Because he was polar.

I tried get a one of those bears together with a Penguin,It didn't work,They were polar opposites..

Aaron · February 16th, 2018, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ball7

...

Why did the ghost ride the elevator?

To lift his spirits.

The publican had a dumbwaiter for the same reason! >hic!<

February 16th, 2018, 12:09 AM	#13032
maildude Vintage Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: In postal purgatory Posts: 760 Thanks: 1,162 Thanked 14,111 Times in 748 Posts	*Me Being A Smartass: Chapter 2--Dealing With Children* Little Boy: Hey, Mister. Can I have a dollar for a soda? Me: First, kid, let me see the soda. __________________ LET FREEDOM WAIT

February 16th, 2018, 04:45 PM	#13037
bfg9000 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In between Shirley Manson's thighs mostly Posts: 683 Thanks: 11,930 Thanked 7,322 Times in 645 Posts	Q: What would singer Ella Fitzgerald's name be if she married Darth Vader? A: Elevator! (Ella Vader) __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ] To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. "I am the head of my state, the minister of my own church" --- Shirley Manson "I am immortal now so watch out you freaks!"--- Shirley Manson

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February 15th, 2018, 10:54 AM	#13031
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,691 Thanks: 66,289 Thanked 209,987 Times in 15,731 Posts	My wife likes to smoke after sex or so her boyfriend told me

February 16th, 2018, 10:59 AM	#13034
rosestone Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 2,256 Thanks: 79,772 Thanked 37,954 Times in 2,261 Posts	I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage. The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity.

February 16th, 2018, 11:26 AM	#13035
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,691 Thanks: 66,289 Thanked 209,987 Times in 15,731 Posts	Why did the bear dissolve in water? Because he was polar. Why did the ghost ride the elevator? To lift his spirits.

February 16th, 2018, 11:28 AM	#13036
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,898 Thanks: 1,329,029 Thanked 707,248 Times in 60,072 Posts	As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

February 16th, 2018, 05:03 PM	#13038
scotpens Senior Member Join Date: May 2015 Posts: 380 Thanks: 686 Thanked 3,743 Times in 367 Posts	We'd like to introduce you to Miss Helen Waite, our credit manager. If you want credit, go to Helen Waite.