Ok the biggie: your most hated Adverts. - Page 9

**BigBucket** · March 16th, 2011, 05:21 PM

Ahhhh that Microwave rice advert! The one where the woman tells her husband the rice wont come out of the microwave until the husband tells the packet of rice it doesn't have any artificial crap in it. Then she looks at her husband as if he's a fecking moron for not knowing that the space time continuum has shifted where the rice suddenly becomes an intellegent spiecies and develops an inferiority complex....

I'd take a crowbar, peel open the microwave, rip out the packet of rice, shove it under the womans nose and scream: IT'S A PACKET OF BOIL IN A BAG RICE! GET SOME BLOODY PERSPECTIVE!

aaah!

The 118-118 Sponsored by adverts they show during movies on ITV4. I really want to see both those tossers and the people behind the adverts get dropped into a Japanese nuclear reactor...

genie · March 16th, 2011, 05:28 PM

The worst cash for gold ad. Not annoying just awful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPfDMutKFxU

**tygrkhat40** · March 17th, 2011, 02:29 AM

Any commercial for a kitchen product that will supposedly allow the incompetent in the kitchen to be as good as Wolfgang F***ing Puck. The level of competence shown in these ads leads me to believe that all they can make for dinner is reservations. Just stay out of the f***ing kitchen before you hurt yourself.

**BigBucket** · March 17th, 2011, 03:43 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik7bDGQ4uO8

Charlie Brooker's biggest cocks in advertising!

**shodan2011** · March 18th, 2011, 03:43 PM

I hate all adverts, but the one that's doing my head in at the minute is the Dettol advert for their no-touch dispenser system.

"Don't touch a germy hand pump again." Hang on a minute, according to you, your hand wash kills 99.9% of germs. IT'S NOT GOING TO MAKE ANY BLOODY DIFFERENCE whether you touch a "germy handpump" because you are going to wash your hands with YOUR product, which (I repeat) kills 99.9% of germs! You put handwash on your hands BEFORE you wash them, not after. Other than ripping off punters who can't see this, I ask: What is the point of the bloody product, and why is the advert so f*cking annoying?

**Mal Hombre** · March 18th, 2011, 04:37 PM

And since when is "Germy" even a word ?

dickerbetwixt · March 18th, 2011, 05:02 PM

This lady doesn't think much of the slogan for Always maxi pads of 'Have a happy period'.........

An Open Letter to James Thatcher, Brand Manager, Proctor and Gamble

Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core™ or Dri-Weave™ absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?
As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."
Are you f#cking kidding me?
What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness—actual smiling, laughing happiness—is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

**Rick Danger** · March 19th, 2011, 01:04 AM

I just sat threw back to back automobile commercials, one for AUDI the other for Mercedes-Benz. The AUDI commercial shows an R8 blasting out of a snow choked driveway during one of the recent East Coast blizzards. The Mercedes commercial shows one of their cars racing along an icy lake passing competitors as they spin out helplessly.

OK folks, I've been piloting all wheel drive vehicles for the last eighteen years. One was a Chevrolet Blazer, and my current car an AUDI A4 1.8T Quattro. FIRST, all wheel drive WILL NOT keep you from losing traction and control on sheet ice, at least not by itself. Studded tires or chains are the key. But frankly with those advantages most drivers would be in good shape. Secondly, if the snow is high enough to get underneath your chassis and lift the car the tires will not have sufficient traction to move you even if you have AWD. I had to dig my AUDI out of the service way behind my home three times during a recent storm. Once I got out to the street I had smooth sailing.

Do I think AWD is an advantage in bad weather ? Without question it is. Have I gone into spins or lost traction because I pushed the limits too far ? Yes I have. Did I recently drive my wife's Front Wheel Drive Scion for two hours home safely through a snow storm ? Sure did.

It absolutely burns me up to see commercials showing SUVs and other All Wheel Drive vehicles flying along like jet planes in horrific weather. And everytime I see an SUV crashed along the side of the road in a winter storm I blame these damn ads.

Be careful out there .........

**Sharkhunter** · March 19th, 2011, 01:11 AM

Quick answer: anything with a fucking meerkat in it.

**Historian** · March 20th, 2011, 06:53 PM

Not a TV advert, but a radio one. A few years back, a car dealer in the South of England (name escapes me, but they sold Hondas IIRC) had an ad on local radio that consisted of nothing more than about a minute of someone reciting the name of the company (something-or-other Honda) over and over again in a very flat monotone that made you want to rip your own ears off after about the second time you heard it....

Talking of local radio adverts, one that might ring a few bells if you lived in the Newcastle area in the 80's- Anyone remember Mr Rahman's ads on Metro Radio?

For the uninitiated, Mr Rahman was an Asian chap who ran a small tailoring business on the Westgate Road 'near the motorbike shops', as he always described it. (Westgate Road was traditionally the home of a lot of Newcastle's motorcycle dealers, and associated businesses).
He obviously didn't believe in wasting money on fancy nonsense like hiring actors to do his radio advert, and did the voiceover himself- basically reeling off a list of the services his shop offered (replacing zips, and doing repairs and alterations on 'everything from an overcoat to a bikini' IIRC) and the prices (usually 'just one pound'), in a very strong Indian accent.

Total cost of recording the advert was probably about a fiver, slick production and professionalism were totally non-existent, but he became a bit of a local radio legend in the North-East

March 18th, 2011, 04:37 PM	#86
Mal Hombre El Super Moderador Join Date: May 2009 Location: Adoptive Monkey Hanger Posts: 58,198 Thanks: 773,367 Thanked 856,547 Times in 57,629 Posts	And since when is "Germy" even a word ? __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. If in doubt, Just ask Yourself What Would Max Do ? It is a porn site,But its a Classy porn site. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 19th, 2011, 01:11 AM	#89
Sharkhunter Gusset Man & Jizzmaster Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Wanking, but not the city in China Posts: 2,043 Thanks: 5,203 Thanked 34,738 Times in 2,027 Posts	Quick answer: anything with a fucking meerkat in it. __________________ "Birth Control Tip #2431: Shoot your load in a girl's mouth or on her face instead of inside her sweet bits. Result: no expensive burden, stretch marks or saggy tits". To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 20th, 2011, 06:53 PM	#90
Historian Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Here and there Posts: 4,029 Thanks: 102,514 Thanked 93,987 Times in 4,024 Posts	Not a TV advert, but a radio one. A few years back, a car dealer in the South of England (name escapes me, but they sold Hondas IIRC) had an ad on local radio that consisted of nothing more than about a minute of someone reciting the name of the company (something-or-other Honda) over and over again in a very flat monotone that made you want to rip your own ears off after about the second time you heard it.... Talking of local radio adverts, one that might ring a few bells if you lived in the Newcastle area in the 80's- Anyone remember Mr Rahman's ads on Metro Radio? For the uninitiated, Mr Rahman was an Asian chap who ran a small tailoring business on the Westgate Road 'near the motorbike shops', as he always described it. (Westgate Road was traditionally the home of a lot of Newcastle's motorcycle dealers, and associated businesses). He obviously didn't believe in wasting money on fancy nonsense like hiring actors to do his radio advert, and did the voiceover himself- basically reeling off a list of the services his shop offered (replacing zips, and doing repairs and alterations on 'everything from an overcoat to a bikini' IIRC) and the prices (usually 'just one pound'), in a very strong Indian accent. Total cost of recording the advert was probably about a fiver, slick production and professionalism were totally non-existent, but he became a bit of a local radio legend in the North-East Last edited by Historian; March 20th, 2011 at 07:01 PM..

March 16th, 2011, 05:21 PM	#81
BigBucket Vintage Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: The United Kingdom of Oppressed Peoples. Posts: 783 Thanks: 5,453 Thanked 11,405 Times in 770 Posts	Ahhhh that Microwave rice advert! The one where the woman tells her husband the rice wont come out of the microwave until the husband tells the packet of rice it doesn't have any artificial crap in it. Then she looks at her husband as if he's a fecking moron for not knowing that the space time continuum has shifted where the rice suddenly becomes an intellegent spiecies and develops an inferiority complex.... I'd take a crowbar, peel open the microwave, rip out the packet of rice, shove it under the womans nose and scream: IT'S A PACKET OF BOIL IN A BAG RICE! GET SOME BLOODY PERSPECTIVE! aaah! The 118-118 Sponsored by adverts they show during movies on ITV4. I really want to see both those tossers and the people behind the adverts get dropped into a Japanese nuclear reactor...

March 16th, 2011, 05:28 PM	#82
genie Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 71 Thanks: 562 Thanked 464 Times in 69 Posts	The worst cash for gold ad. Not annoying just awful. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPfDMutKFxU

March 17th, 2011, 02:29 AM	#83
tygrkhat40 Long Suffering Bills Fan Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: The City of Good Neighbors Posts: 9,669 Thanks: 304,243 Thanked 153,135 Times in 9,629 Posts	Any commercial for a kitchen product that will supposedly allow the incompetent in the kitchen to be as good as Wolfgang F*ing Puck. The level of competence shown in these ads leads me to believe that all they can make for dinner is reservations. Just stay out of the f*ing kitchen before you hurt yourself.

March 17th, 2011, 03:43 AM	#84
BigBucket Vintage Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: The United Kingdom of Oppressed Peoples. Posts: 783 Thanks: 5,453 Thanked 11,405 Times in 770 Posts	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik7bDGQ4uO8 Charlie Brooker's biggest cocks in advertising!

March 18th, 2011, 03:43 PM	#85
shodan2011 Vintage Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: The Wild, Wild West Midlands Posts: 1,262 Thanks: 13,615 Thanked 20,242 Times in 1,279 Posts	I hate all adverts, but the one that's doing my head in at the minute is the Dettol advert for their no-touch dispenser system. "Don't touch a germy hand pump again." Hang on a minute, according to you, your hand wash kills 99.9% of germs. IT'S NOT GOING TO MAKE ANY BLOODY DIFFERENCE whether you touch a "germy handpump" because you are going to wash your hands with YOUR product, which (I repeat) kills 99.9% of germs! You put handwash on your hands BEFORE you wash them, not after. Other than ripping off punters who can't see this, I ask: What is the point of the bloody product, and why is the advert so f*cking annoying?

March 18th, 2011, 05:02 PM	#87
dickerbetwixt Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 370 Thanks: 1,582 Thanked 3,198 Times in 368 Posts	This lady doesn't think much of the slogan for Always maxi pads of 'Have a happy period'......... An Open Letter to James Thatcher, Brand Manager, Proctor and Gamble Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core™ or Dri-Weave™ absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing? As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period." Are you f#cking kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness—actual smiling, laughing happiness—is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us? Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always. Best, Wendi Aarons Austin, TX

March 19th, 2011, 01:04 AM	#88
Rick Danger Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: In the Chill lounge..... Posts: 1,725 Thanks: 6,794 Thanked 31,400 Times in 1,714 Posts	I just sat threw back to back automobile commercials, one for AUDI the other for Mercedes-Benz. The AUDI commercial shows an R8 blasting out of a snow choked driveway during one of the recent East Coast blizzards. The Mercedes commercial shows one of their cars racing along an icy lake passing competitors as they spin out helplessly. OK folks, I've been piloting all wheel drive vehicles for the last eighteen years. One was a Chevrolet Blazer, and my current car an AUDI A4 1.8T Quattro. FIRST, all wheel drive WILL NOT keep you from losing traction and control on sheet ice, at least not by itself. Studded tires or chains are the key. But frankly with those advantages most drivers would be in good shape. Secondly, if the snow is high enough to get underneath your chassis and lift the car the tires will not have sufficient traction to move you even if you have AWD. I had to dig my AUDI out of the service way behind my home three times during a recent storm. Once I got out to the street I had smooth sailing. Do I think AWD is an advantage in bad weather ? Without question it is. Have I gone into spins or lost traction because I pushed the limits too far ? Yes I have. Did I recently drive my wife's Front Wheel Drive Scion for two hours home safely through a snow storm ? Sure did. It absolutely burns me up to see commercials showing SUVs and other All Wheel Drive vehicles flying along like jet planes in horrific weather. And everytime I see an SUV crashed along the side of the road in a winter storm I blame these damn ads. Be careful out there .........