They Still Love Your Wife/Girlfriend...

[bloke57]

Originally Posted by bloke57

But I always got on really well with her parents. So much so that I used to visit them independently and enjoyed many a dinner with them - I even house/cat sat for them a couple of times.

A bit of a sad update on my story above.

My ex-girlfriend's mother has recently died leaving her father old, alone and unwell. I visited yesterday and we had a long chat and a reminisce about better times. We had a great afternoon and I hope he felt better for it. I will call again for his sake and do a bit of gardening for him when I can.

[KissArmy]

Originally Posted by KissArmy

Wow.

In my house, my wife and I have settled into an unspoken agreement... she doesn't carry on her lovefest with her ex's family in my face, and I don't criticize either them, the shithole town they still live in, or their home country.

I hope things will taper off when the ex's mother dies. But damn, she's got those Nordic genes and she'll probably live to 100.

Cleaning out the attic today... turns out a year after my wife and I married, the ex's sainted mother sent my wife a picture of her son- at his wedding reception. Some poor girl married the piece of shit.

Kind of presumptuous, I thought- the sainted mother knew her son cheated on my now-wife, that my now-wife recovered quite well and was now married, but that surely my wife would want a picture of him with his latest victim, er, bride.

(Got permission to throw the picture out... but wisely chose not to ask my wife why she kept it)

(Oh, and the piece of shit son cheated on the girl in the picture too- and gave her herpes (or was that his second wife?)(yeah, she left him).

[KissArmy]

Originally Posted by KissArmy

Cleaning out the attic today... turns out a year after my wife and I married, the ex's sainted mother sent my wife a picture of her son- at his wedding reception. Some poor girl married the piece of shit.

Kind of presumptuous, I thought- the sainted mother knew her son cheated on my now-wife, that my now-wife recovered quite well and was now married, but that surely my wife would want a picture of him with his latest victim, er, bride.

(Got permission to throw the picture out... but wisely chose not to ask my wife why she kept it)

(Oh, and the piece of shit son cheated on the girl in the picture too- and gave her herpes (or was that his second wife?)(yeah, she left him).

Yesterday's email to my wife from the sainted mother announced the birth of her other child's grandchild. My wife isn't close to that child either. "I know- you hate her" said my wife when she saw me looking at the email. No, I don't hate the sainted mother, I just don't like that she was willing to let a young girl get abused and cheated just because she really wanted the girl as a daughter in law. Damn, own that your son is a piece of shit and just go away [end of rant].

[KissArmy]

The Sainted Mother died last week. Her daughter notified Mrs. KissArmy, but didn't plea for Mrs. KissArmy to fly to their country for the memorial service. She did, though, ask Mrs. KissArmy to write a memories letter to be read aloud at the service.

Mrs. KissArmy was saddened at the news but didn't go overboard. She made a donation and provided the memories letter (she asked me to write it ), but that was it. The daughter thanked Mrs. KissArmy via text, said the memorial service was nice, and that was it.

So everyone handled the closing of this chapter pretty well. No "you were the daughter that got away!", no "I really wanted to marry into your family!", no plane fare, and no mention of the Sainted Mother's piece of shit son that brought Mrs. KissArmy into the family orbit when Mrs. KissArmy was an 18 year old girl. No contact by the piece of shit ex either. So I guess I misjudged all the players here.

For the other contributors to this thread, I would just say trust that even though they still love your wife/girlfriend, they will be mature about it. They've moved on too. Only get pissed off, only do something, when it's clear that your wife/girlfriend and the other family are clearly relegating you to second place. Which probably wont' happen.