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Old March 12th, 2009, 12:36 PM   #1
NelsonsGoodeye
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Unhappy Things you can't do anymore....

All the things that 20/30 years ago were commonplace, but now? With a British slant here, (cos that's where I've lived all my life), But coming to your country, soon....

You can't lie in the sun in your garden or the park or at the beach without being lectured about Global Warming.

You can't lie in the sun in your garden or the park or at the beach without being moved on by some local council jobsworth armed with a £50 fixed penalty notice.

You can't lie in the sun in your garden or the park or at the beach without being told to wear Factor 1,000 in case you burn.

You can't lie in the sun in your garden or the park or at the beach without being harangued because it offends Islam.

You can't lie in the sun in your garden or the park or at the beach without being suspected of child abuse.

More to follow......
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Old March 12th, 2009, 03:44 PM   #2
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Unhappy More...

You can't stand up and cheer when your team score. They've given you seats, so you can fuckin-well sit in them.

You can't drive with your eyes on the road rather than the speedometer.

You can't do, write or say anything without looking over your shoulder in case someone doesn't like it.

You can't send out of the country people who've come here illegally or come as our guests and then commit crimes or plot to kill us.

You can't fly without being made to feel guilty.

You can't drive without being made to feel guilty.

You can't smoke without being made to feel guilty.

You can't eat without being made to feel guilty.

You can't put salt on your chips without feeling guilty.

You can't eat chips without feeling guilty.

You can't eat fish without feeling guilty (unless you're Japanese)

You can't have sex with a woman without being made to feel guilty because she isn't a man.

You can't drive a nice big car without some woman with a "tache dressed in dungarees giving you a hard time.
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Old March 12th, 2009, 03:56 PM   #3
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Default things you cant do anymore

You cant walk through the town/city centre pissed on a friday night with a traffic cone on your head

You cant put the cone on the head of the nearest statue either

You cant have a knee trembler in a shop doorway withot being caught on CCTV

You cant tell a joke in the pub cos everyones texting their mates and not listening

You cant smile at a pretty girl in the street without being slapped with a restraining order or be considered a stalker

You cant cuff some cheeky urchin in the street for damaging your car and expect not to get stabbed

Specs
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Old March 12th, 2009, 07:57 PM   #4
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You can't expect the law to punish the criminals and look after the victims. Somewhere along the line they switched it around.
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Old March 12th, 2009, 09:27 PM   #5
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You can not assume a school leaver who can neither read nor write is thick.
They have some kind of attention deficit disorder.

You cannot buy 3 packets of Paracetamol from a supermarket as that could be dangerous, but you can buy knives.

You cannot watch a movie on TV without some unfunny oik talking over the end credits or on one occasion recently the last few minutes of the actual movie itself.
You cannot watch 90% of the satellite channels without some unobtrusive logo in the way.

You struggle to find products to buy that were made in Britain although you cannot move for Chinese produce, which I would sooner avoid.

You can't walk down the streets without side-stepping piles of dog crap, probably as so many parks are closed or classed as no-go areas.

You don't see Police Officers walking the beat, (it's Specials) they never seem to want to attend incidents they do not consider serious enough, although someone, somewhere is probably monitoring this thread.

You cannot get Cream of Asparagus cupasoup with Croutons at my local Asda.
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Old March 12th, 2009, 09:27 PM   #6
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You can't be sure anymore that the lady you just bought this 'Tropical Rainforest Cocktail' has a jungle in her slip too.
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Old March 13th, 2009, 01:10 AM   #7
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You can run, but you can't hide...

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Old March 13th, 2009, 06:49 AM   #8
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you can't have your cake & eat it.

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Old March 13th, 2009, 07:23 AM   #9
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I can't shoot spunk over my shoulder like I could as a teenager while looking at Spick and Span mags !!
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Old March 13th, 2009, 07:55 AM   #10
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You can't punish kids the way we were
You can't light a smoke almost anywhere
You can't drive down a busy road without seeing a McDonalds

Much more coming
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