Post your corny jokes - Page 1280

**gedly** · November 9th, 2017, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tun

Very sexist of the political correspondents to keep referring to the resigned minister as Pretty Patel - you don't hear them saying ugly Farage, but perhaps they should.

Yes and all these songs I hear on the radio like "She looks Priti In Pink", "You look so Priti as you were ridin' along" and "I want to love you, Priti young thing".

**mrfixit** · November 9th, 2017, 05:17 PM

**Mal Hombre** · November 9th, 2017, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gedly

Yes and all these songs I hear on the radio like "She looks Priti In Pink", "You look so Priti as you were ridin' along" and "I want to love you, Priti young thing".

Now She's resigned.She's Priti Vacant..

**ball7** · November 10th, 2017, 07:41 PM

A man goes to see his Rabbi in a panic, and he gets there and he says, “Rabbi you’ll never guess what! My son has run away to become a Christian!” And the Rabbi responds, “Well you’ll never guess what! My son has also run away to become a Christian!” So the man asks the Rabbi what to do and the Rabbi says that they should pray to G-d. So they pray and tell him of their plight and G-d replies, “You’ll never guess what!”
- An old Hasidic joke

From Trumble

captain fanta · November 10th, 2017, 10:11 PM

"What's your name?"
"Dave Fvcking Smith"
"Do you suffer from Tourette's, Dave?"
"No, but the vicar at my christening did."

**ball7** · November 10th, 2017, 10:16 PM

I like my chocolate
Like I like my ladyboys
With nuts

Aaron · November 11th, 2017, 04:59 AM

So the vampire had a loose tooth and went off to China. He heard they knew all about fang sway.

**rockernut** · November 11th, 2017, 11:26 AM

My grandfather told me that he saw The Titanic, and that from the beginning he warned all the people that the boat would sink, but they ignored him. However, they were warned again on several occassions, until they kicked him out the cinema.

**ball7** · November 12th, 2017, 09:07 PM

I saw two guys wearing matching clothing and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.

ajitpd · November 14th, 2017, 04:55 AM

A prostitute was having a baby at the hospital. In the delivery room her doctor was examining her.

"Can you tell me, ma'am," asked the good doctor, "who the father is?"

"Listen, doc," replied the sharp-tongued lady of the night, "if I ate a whole can of beans, how could I tell you which one made me fart?"

November 9th, 2017, 05:17 PM	#12792
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,774 Thanked 114,810 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

November 10th, 2017, 10:16 PM	#12796
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,690 Thanks: 66,280 Thanked 209,980 Times in 15,730 Posts	I like my chocolate Like I like my ladyboys With nuts Last edited by ball7; November 12th, 2017 at 09:09 PM..

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November 10th, 2017, 07:41 PM	#12794
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,690 Thanks: 66,280 Thanked 209,980 Times in 15,730 Posts	A man goes to see his Rabbi in a panic, and he gets there and he says, “Rabbi you’ll never guess what! My son has run away to become a Christian!” And the Rabbi responds, “Well you’ll never guess what! My son has also run away to become a Christian!” So the man asks the Rabbi what to do and the Rabbi says that they should pray to G-d. So they pray and tell him of their plight and G-d replies, “You’ll never guess what!” - An old Hasidic joke From Trumble

November 10th, 2017, 10:11 PM	#12795
captain fanta Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 79 Thanks: 39,777 Thanked 1,012 Times in 75 Posts	"What's your name?" "Dave Fvcking Smith" "Do you suffer from Tourette's, Dave?" "No, but the vicar at my christening did."

November 11th, 2017, 04:59 AM	#12797
Aaron Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: U.S. of A. Posts: 206 Thanks: 6,639 Thanked 2,740 Times in 201 Posts	So the vampire had a loose tooth and went off to China. He heard they knew all about fang sway.

November 11th, 2017, 11:26 AM	#12798
rockernut Veteran Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Stockholm, Sweden Posts: 6,958 Thanks: 69,662 Thanked 73,320 Times in 6,969 Posts	My grandfather told me that he saw The Titanic, and that from the beginning he warned all the people that the boat would sink, but they ignored him. However, they were warned again on several occassions, until they kicked him out the cinema.

November 12th, 2017, 09:07 PM	#12799
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,690 Thanks: 66,280 Thanked 209,980 Times in 15,730 Posts	I saw two guys wearing matching clothing and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.

November 14th, 2017, 04:55 AM	#12800
ajitpd Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 439 Thanks: 12,340 Thanked 3,494 Times in 381 Posts	A prostitute was having a baby at the hospital. In the delivery room her doctor was examining her. "Can you tell me, ma'am," asked the good doctor, "who the father is?" "Listen, doc," replied the sharp-tongued lady of the night, "if I ate a whole can of beans, how could I tell you which one made me fart?"