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September 23rd, 2018, 04:40 PM | #13871 |
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19
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Whoever said laughter is the best medicine ,
Clearly hasn’t tried curing chronic diarrhea with a tickle fight.
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September 24th, 2018, 03:20 PM | #13872 |
Beloved Brother
Join Date: Mar 2008
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September 24th, 2018, 09:49 PM | #13873 |
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When I was a teenager, I used to pray every night that the girl next door would fancy me so that I could make love to her. When I grew up, I realised that God didn't work like that, so I raped her and prayed for forgiveness.
Why is a bible like a penis? You get it forced down your throat by a priest. We call our grandad "Spiderman". He hasn't got any super powers-he just finds it difficult to get out of the bath. British weather: it's just like a Muslim, Sunni or Shi ite. |
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September 25th, 2018, 08:24 PM | #13874 |
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Apologies in advance for this.
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A Labracadabrador. |
September 25th, 2018, 09:05 PM | #13875 |
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Italians are fantastic people, really.
They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera. -Don Rickles |
September 25th, 2018, 11:35 PM | #13876 |
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This addiction to sandpaper is really wearing me down
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September 26th, 2018, 02:10 PM | #13877 |
Beloved Brother
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September 28th, 2018, 09:27 AM | #13878 |
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yolk
Q/ why do women wear make-up and perfume ?
. . A/ because they're ugly and they stink . |
September 28th, 2018, 09:30 AM | #13879 |
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angry dress
My wife accused me of being a cross dresser . .
I got so mad I packed her clothes and left . |
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September 28th, 2018, 09:31 AM | #13880 |
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dog toof
Guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He sees a jar full of $100s and asks about it. Bartender says, "It's a manhood test. Put in your $100 and if you can pass all three tests all the money is yours. Test one, knock out the bouncer with one punch. Test two, go out back and pull the infected tooth from our pitbull's mouth. Test three, go upstairs and sexually satisfy this old hooker; she's never been satisfied." Guy slams his beer, puts his $100 in the jar and walks over to the bouncer and BOOM!! Bouncer's down... Guy slams another three beers and heads out back. They can hear dog barking and growling and the guy is yelling and screaming. There's things being broken and just general mayhem and destruction. Guy walks back in the bar and he is torn up and bleeding from head to toe. He slams another beer and asks, "OK, where's the hooker with the infected tooth ?"
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