Things to do before you die - Page 3

**BigBucket** · March 26th, 2009, 08:50 PM

You daft bugger!

MaxJoker · March 27th, 2009, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBucket

You daft bugger!

True , true

Yet no denials i see

MaxJoker · April 18th, 2009, 02:36 AM

1) Put a rude message in a bottle
2) Ride a camel across the dessert a`la Skull of Arabia
3) Be a foreman on a jury in a case where i committed the crime
4) Shower naked under a waterfall , at my local garden centre water features section
5) Teach someone who`s illiterate how to read , words that don`t really exist
6) Become a confederate and fight for the south
7) BBQ with lava
8) Go bowling
9) Find and date a presentable nymphomaniac , preferably female
10) Donate my body to science

HOUDINI · April 18th, 2009, 03:09 AM

1. FENWAY PARK
2. WRIGLEY FIELD
3. FLA. KEYS FISHING
4. BEER W/ BOTH EX-WIVES AND PRESENT WIFE
[ the changes in ones life

5. DEAL BLACKJACK IN VEGAS

MaxJoker · June 28th, 2009, 03:17 AM

1) Win the Eurovision contest with my catchy song “ Kill yourselves and do the world a favour “
2) Invent a new flavour , call it Brick
3) Marry a hairless heiress
4) Clone myself and kick his ass
5) Make a million buying products from the Pound shop and selling them on ebay for £1.50
6) Start a one man protest against protesting
7) Have penis shortening surgery so my lederhosen fit better
8) Appear on come dine with me , and poison the guests
9) Learn to lip read , womens vaginas
10) Say there`s a fortune in gold hidden under the ……………………

Rfan · June 28th, 2009, 06:38 AM

Do 'it' with my avatar.

Thats all I got.

Ok, I really need to get out more.

**brianwp** · June 28th, 2009, 07:47 AM

Cheat death. (This will give me a lot more time to do the other nine things).
Cheat the IRS.
Stay out of prison for cheating the IRS.
Restore Sophia Loren to her 1970's glory.
Screw the crap out of Sophia Loren.
Appear in a movie.
Make 20 million to appear in the movie.
Jam with Mick and Keith on my front porch with acoustics, a blues harp, and a lot of liquor.
Stick my elbow in my ear.
Screw the crap out of Sophia Loren.

**scoundrel** · July 2nd, 2009, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brianwp

Cheat death. (This will give me a lot more time to do the other nine things).
Cheat the IRS.
Stay out of prison for cheating the IRS.
Restore Sophia Loren to her 1970's glory.
Screw the crap out of Sophia Loren.
Appear in a movie.
Make 20 million to appear in the movie.
Jam with Mick and Keith on my front porch with acoustics, a blues harp, and a lot of liquor.
Stick my elbow in my ear.
Screw the crap out of Sophia Loren.

All enviable choices brian. However, unless you're Rupert Murdoch(

), cheating the IRS may be the second hardest and avoiding justice once you've done the hardest of all. Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs are also harder to shake off than a Rottweiler in rigor mortis.

To quote Benjamin Franklin:

''Certainty? In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.''

**DTravel** · July 3rd, 2009, 07:23 PM

#3) Investigate the disappearance of Item #2.
#4) Conquer the world
#5) Having conquered the world, impose an actual education system. Graduation requirement: While age 18 everyone has to pass a simple test (questions like a multiple choice "What is an atom?", things any 12 year kid should be able to answer), two tries allowed. If you fail both you get euthanized.
#6) Put down revolts that announcing #5 causes and re-conquer world.
#7) Don't die.
#8-#10) TBD

**retro72** · July 4th, 2009, 01:02 AM

Garotte Simon Cowell
Have all politicians wired to lie detectors before answering questions in public
Have all politicians wired to gelignite in case of lies regarding ^
Write a letter to Jimmy Saville asking for him to fix it so I can see him drive over a cliff
Blow up Keith Harris and Orville
Become a dalek with a sense of humour
Become a human being with a sense of humour
Make a fried egg that isn't too runny or too hard
Reverse all the stupid decisions I've made that have hurt others and myself
Make a list that was actually worth compiling and reading...

April 18th, 2009, 02:36 AM	#23
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,559 Times in 69,067 Posts	1) Put a rude message in a bottle 2) Ride a camel across the dessert a`la Skull of Arabia 3) Be a foreman on a jury in a case where i committed the crime 4) Shower naked under a waterfall , at my local garden centre water features section 5) Teach someone who`s illiterate how to read , words that don`t really exist 6) Become a confederate and fight for the south 7) BBQ with lava 8) Go bowling 9) Find and date a presentable nymphomaniac , preferably female 10) Donate my body to science __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

June 28th, 2009, 03:17 AM	#25
MaxJoker Beloved Brother Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Cemetery Gardens_Arterial Blood Lane_Rampton Secure Unit_Extra Violent F Wing_Cell 19 Posts: 69,106 Thanks: 372,713 Thanked 987,559 Times in 69,067 Posts	1) Win the Eurovision contest with my catchy song “ Kill yourselves and do the world a favour “ 2) Invent a new flavour , call it Brick 3) Marry a hairless heiress 4) Clone myself and kick his ass 5) Make a million buying products from the Pound shop and selling them on ebay for £1.50 6) Start a one man protest against protesting 7) Have penis shortening surgery so my lederhosen fit better 8) Appear on come dine with me , and poison the guests 9) Learn to lip read , womens vaginas 10) Say there`s a fortune in gold hidden under the …………………… __________________ My hypocrisy only goes so To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

June 28th, 2009, 06:38 AM	#26
Rfan Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: The Tyranny of Distance Posts: 78 Thanks: 463 Thanked 720 Times in 69 Posts	Do 'it' with my avatar. Thats all I got. Ok, I really need to get out more. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by Rfan; June 30th, 2009 at 07:48 AM.. Reason: crude language; apologies to members

July 3rd, 2009, 07:23 PM	#29
DTravel Lean Mean Screencap Machine Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Better you don't know. Posts: 23,804 Thanks: 10,480 Thanked 207,303 Times in 23,713 Posts	#3) Investigate the disappearance of Item #2. #4) Conquer the world #5) Having conquered the world, impose an actual education system. Graduation requirement: While age 18 everyone has to pass a simple test (questions like a multiple choice "What is an atom?", things any 12 year kid should be able to answer), two tries allowed. If you fail both you get euthanized. #6) Put down revolts that announcing #5 causes and re-conquer world. #7) Don't die. #8-#10) TBD __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I rage and weep for my country. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I can reup screencaps, other material might have been lost.

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March 26th, 2009, 08:50 PM	#21
BigBucket Vintage Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: The United Kingdom of Oppressed Peoples. Posts: 783 Thanks: 5,453 Thanked 11,405 Times in 770 Posts	You daft bugger!

April 18th, 2009, 03:09 AM	#24
HOUDINI Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 25 Thanks: 5,770 Thanked 242 Times in 23 Posts	1. FENWAY PARK 2. WRIGLEY FIELD 3. FLA. KEYS FISHING 4. BEER W/ BOTH EX-WIVES AND PRESENT WIFE [ the changes in ones life 5. DEAL BLACKJACK IN VEGAS

June 28th, 2009, 07:47 AM	#27
brianwp Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: United States Posts: 1,464 Thanks: 4,856 Thanked 25,701 Times in 1,431 Posts	Cheat death. (This will give me a lot more time to do the other nine things). Cheat the IRS. Stay out of prison for cheating the IRS. Restore Sophia Loren to her 1970's glory. Screw the crap out of Sophia Loren. Appear in a movie. Make 20 million to appear in the movie. Jam with Mick and Keith on my front porch with acoustics, a blues harp, and a lot of liquor. Stick my elbow in my ear. Screw the crap out of Sophia Loren.

July 4th, 2009, 01:02 AM	#30
retro72 Vintage Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Weirdsville Posts: 776 Thanks: 5,007 Thanked 9,135 Times in 774 Posts	Garotte Simon Cowell Have all politicians wired to lie detectors before answering questions in public Have all politicians wired to gelignite in case of lies regarding ^ Write a letter to Jimmy Saville asking for him to fix it so I can see him drive over a cliff Blow up Keith Harris and Orville Become a dalek with a sense of humour Become a human being with a sense of humour Make a fried egg that isn't too runny or too hard Reverse all the stupid decisions I've made that have hurt others and myself Make a list that was actually worth compiling and reading...