How did that happen? Scoundrel's guide to DIY vehicle maintenance for brain-donors

[scoundrel]

Had a bad moment on Saturday; my faithful 16 year old Mondeo refused to start in the local Homebase carpark and I felt constrained to call out the AA (again). It seemed a lot like a recurrance of the fuel pump problems I had last year. To my embarrassment and annoyance, the car started and ran sweetly as soon as the AA patrolman arrived and turned the key in the ignition.

AA Man: Tried to start and then died off?
Scoundrel: That's right.
AA Man: [surveying the extravagent clutter inside my car] Were you moving stuff off the back seat into the boot while you were waiting for me?
Scoundrel: Err...yes.
AA Man: Did you lean on the car and have it moving on its springs while you were moving stuff?
Scoundrel: Yes.
AA Man: If this happens again, reach under the back wheels and give the petrol tank a thump. It sounds likely enough that your fuel pump is sticking. They can start doing that when they're old. But if this happens again and thumping the tank gets you going, get yourself a new fuel pump; it won't improve over time.

AA Man pauses:

AA Man: The fuel pump is accessed by taking off the back seat; maybe you need to keep the inside of your car a bit clearer in case one of my colleagues has to look at it.



I have no idea what he meant...

[turat]

Originally Posted by scoundrel

Had a bad moment on Saturday; my faithful 16 year old Mondeo refused to start in the local Homebase carpark and I felt constrained to call out the AA (again). It seemed a lot like a recurrance of the fuel pump problems I had last year. To my embarrassment and annoyance, the car started and ran sweetly as soon as the AA patrolman arrived and turned the key in the ignition.

AA Man: Tried to start and then died off?
Scoundrel: That's right.
AA Man: [surveying the extravagent clutter inside my car] Were you moving stuff off the back seat into the boot while you were waiting for me?
Scoundrel: Err...yes.
AA Man: Did you lean on the car and have it moving on its springs while you were moving stuff?
Scoundrel: Yes.
AA Man: If this happens again, reach under the back wheels and give the petrol tank a thump. It sounds likely enough that your fuel pump is sticking. They can start doing that when they're old. But if this happens again and thumping the tank gets you going, get yourself a new fuel pump; it won't improve over time.

AA Man pauses:

AA Man: The fuel pump is accessed by taking off the back seat; maybe you need to keep the inside of your car a bit clearer in case one of my colleagues has to look at it.



I have no idea what he meant...

Try replacing the fuel filter first (if you think it hasn't been changed in a while). If it solves the problem, great. If not, then replace the fuel pump as well. Regardless, it's good to have a fresh filter with new pump.

[trailmaster]

I don't do car repairs myself. I used to go to car dealers but after all the warranties expire these guys just try to scam you. I now take my car to Midas Service Shops. Not only can they do any repair a car dealer service station can, but they also sell tires and repair or replace exhaust systems. I take my car in twice a year. In the Spring I take my car in to get an oil change plus a new oil filter, have all the fluids checked, have a tire rotation, and have the battery and other parts of the electrical system checked. In the Autumn I do the same thing, but also have the coolant checked, the battery terminals cleaned,and the belts tightened, and the alternator checked and the water pump checked. Not one of the cars I have owned has ever broken down, because I do this regular maintenance every year.

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by trailmaster

Not one of the cars I have owned has ever broken down, because I do this regular maintenance every year.

Mate You're not trying hard enough I loved buying crappy cars for an afternoon for a few hundred dollars and try and destroy the engine Worked every time except for one Chrysler that had a 265 hemi, that one went into a tree sideways before we could blow the engine up Cost us more to have the thing towed out of the national park than we paid for the damn thing

[trailmaster]

Originally Posted by Estreeter

Mate You're not trying hard enough I loved buying crappy cars for an afternoon for a few hundred dollars and try and destroy the engine Worked every time except for one Chrysler that had a 265 hemi, that one went into a tree sideways before we could blow the engine up Cost us more to have the thing towed out of the national park than we paid for the damn thing

this has to be a joke. Why would anyone in their right mind pay good money for a crappy car only to purposely try to then destroy it. Wouldn't it be better to save your money and use it to open your own Pizza Parlour. You could have your own pizza restaurant in the outback. Just think one of the special toppings for your pizzas could be kangaroo meat.

[9876543210]

trailmaster,

Originally Posted by trailmaster

this has to be a joke. Why would anyone in their right mind pay good money for a crappy car only to purposely try to then destroy it. Wouldn't it be better to save your money and use it to open your own Pizza Parlour. You could have your own pizza restaurant in the outback. Just think one of the special toppings for your pizzas could be kangaroo meat.

I can think of one reason. Never been to a demolition derby? Went to a couple back in the 70's and they were kind of cool. Given an opportunity today, I might even be interested in doing one. Could be a lot of fun.

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by trailmaster

this has to be a joke.

No joke Mate

Originally Posted by trailmaster

Why would anyone in their right mind pay good money for a crappy car only to purposely try to then destroy it.

2 reasons,

1, When you're 20 and stupid, you have to find a way to kill a Saturday afternoon

2, We would buy an old Ford, Holden or Chrysler that been put in the local classifieds that someone just wants to get rid of as it's a burden to them. We'd buy them and if the engine was already clapped out, we'd finish it off, strip the rest of the car and sell it for parts, most times we'd end up with a small profit

[9876543210]

Hey Estreeter,

Just wondering. Do you guys have demolition derby's over there?

[spicoli]

Originally Posted by Estreeter

No joke Mate



2 reasons,

1, When you're 20 and stupid, you have to find a way to kill a Saturday afternoon

2, We would buy an old Ford, Holden or Chrysler that been put in the local classifieds that someone just wants to get rid of as it's a burden to them. We'd buy them and if the engine was already clapped out, we'd finish it off, strip the rest of the car and sell it for parts, most times we'd end up with a small profit

I did that also. We called our old cars "brush runners". They all died one way or another. Usually rapidly.

The best one was a 50's Buick - it just did not give up - it's final resting spot was between two trees, where it probably still is. The space between the trees was a little bit too narrow. The car was so far out in the woods that it was hardly worth it to strip the parts.

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by 9876543210

Hey Estreeter,

Just wondering. Do you guys have demolition derby's over there?

I've never seen it, I think it was or still is done here at dirt speedway events.

Originally Posted by spicoli

I did that also. We called our old cars "brush runners". They all died one way or another. Usually rapidly.

The best one was a 50's Buick - it just did not give up - it's final resting spot was between two trees, where it probably still is. The space between the trees was a little bit too narrow. The car was so far out in the woods that it was hardly worth it to strip the parts.

We call what we did "Bush Bashing", was great fun then, Where I grew up just out of Geelong there are a lot of dirt and gravel roads, made for a great way to break road laws and break engines that were on their last legs. The only one we didn't kill out of 12 or so cars was that one Chrysler. As for the cash, buying a running wreck that someone had in their backyard for around $300, having fun with it for an afternoon, then stripping it of the diff and or axle, gearbox, seats, dash, doors, carbies and whatever else was worth something made for a modest profit now and then ........ and spent on alcohol and other fun things that 20 year old's do