Post your corny jokes - Page 1239

**bp666** · June 10th, 2017, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anothercustom

I've just bought some Viagra tea bags.

They won't improve my sex life but they will stop my biscuits from going soft.

Yes, you don't want to be be eating a soggy biscuit!!

**Isegrim** · June 11th, 2017, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ball7

Mainly due to the Vulcan nerve pinch not working in reallife.

Oh, it could work ... the only problem is to find a girl that has (!) the nerve to date a Trekkie ...

**Isegrim** · June 11th, 2017, 08:00 AM

I found these two ads directly side by side on the same web page ... only one guy on earth is lying even more clumsily ...

**ball7** · June 11th, 2017, 04:53 PM

I dated a woman once.
But She kept on using the N-word.

In the end I said "You can call me a nig as much as you like, but don't say no to me ever again"

**anothercustom** · June 13th, 2017, 12:44 PM

UnFUCKINGbelievable. Theresa May spent all of yesterday putting together a new cabinet. The UK is in a total mess and she's fucking about with furniture.

**PJayBr** · June 13th, 2017, 04:31 PM

I was having a piss in a motorway service station last week, and in front of me was a poster that said,

"By the time you wash your hands, five children will have died of malnutrition"

so I thought, "Well I haven't splashed much, so I'll not bother and save some lives......."

**Mal Hombre** · June 13th, 2017, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anothercustom

UnFUCKINGbelievable. Theresa May spent all of yesterday putting together a new cabinet.

That's what you get shopping at IKEA..

**effCup** · June 13th, 2017, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal Hombre

That's what you get shopping at IKEA..

... or (shopping at) the DUP?

**gedly** · June 13th, 2017, 06:25 PM

I proudly took my son to his first demo yesterday. He kept asking me, "Daddy, Daddy, why are those people shouting, 'Nazi scum off our streets' at us?"

**effCup** · June 14th, 2017, 04:47 AM

Today's newsrag. included a reader-contributed 2-word "letter" on the UK election:

Theresa wrexit.

Not entirely original, but.

June 11th, 2017, 08:00 AM	#12383
Isegrim Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2016 Posts: 1,094 Thanks: 8,200 Thanked 11,679 Times in 1,099 Posts	I found these two ads directly side by side on the same web page ... only one guy on earth is lying even more clumsily ...

June 11th, 2017, 04:53 PM	#12384
ball7 Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: MIA Posts: 15,691 Thanks: 66,289 Thanked 210,001 Times in 15,731 Posts	I dated a woman once. But She kept on using the N-word. In the end I said "You can call me a nig as much as you like, but don't say no to me ever again"

June 13th, 2017, 12:44 PM	#12385
anothercustom Vintage Member Join Date: Dec 2016 Posts: 4,950 Thanks: 25,742 Thanked 123,773 Times in 5,161 Posts	UnFUCKINGbelievable. Theresa May spent all of yesterday putting together a new cabinet. The UK is in a total mess and she's fucking about with furniture.

June 13th, 2017, 04:31 PM	#12386
PJayBr Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: In front of my PC with my cock in my hand...... Posts: 1,312 Thanks: 41,761 Thanked 13,696 Times in 1,283 Posts	I was having a piss in a motorway service station last week, and in front of me was a poster that said, "By the time you wash your hands, five children will have died of malnutrition" so I thought, "Well I haven't splashed much, so I'll not bother and save some lives......."

June 13th, 2017, 06:25 PM	#12389
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,883 Thanked 69,318 Times in 3,171 Posts	I proudly took my son to his first demo yesterday. He kept asking me, "Daddy, Daddy, why are those people shouting, 'Nazi scum off our streets' at us?"

June 14th, 2017, 04:47 AM	#12390
effCup *Vintage Idiot* Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: History Posts: 22,136 Thanks: 226,731 Thanked 356,779 Times in 21,631 Posts	Today's newsrag. included a reader-contributed 2-word "letter" on the UK election: Theresa wrexit. Not entirely original, but.