What if you lived in Australia?

[philll_77]

Originally Posted by tmee2000

English English mate. Except I remember we had "favorite" for some reason, and I still tend to use it.

Favorite? That's nearly as bad as "larger"

[effCup]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_English#Spelling_and_style

... "oxpentifylline" as opposed to "pentoxifylline"...

[Brecht]

Or knoife as opposed to knife.

[MaxJoker]

Originally Posted by xyzde69

A question to Australian people.

That`d be everyone except you then.

Originally Posted by xyzde69

Do you learn British English or American English at school?

Neither.
I learned Double Dutch

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by xyzde69

Do you learn British English or American English at school?

We don't learn anything

[trailmaster]

Kevin here. Let's try it again.

Jack and Jill had just come home to Hackensack, New Jersey after spending two weeks in Australia. They were both tired from their ordeal and were glad to be back in the good ole USA. Jack said to Jill. That was a great vacation. The Australian people are great , very friendly and cooperatve. Australia has fantastic beaches, golf courses, great restaurants, great hotels, and that outback tour we took was magnificient, especailly seeing Ayers Rock. Jill said she loved going to Rottnest Island to see the quokkas and wished quokkas could be seen in U.S. zoos.

Jack and Jill however were perturbed about several things that happened to them while in the "down under" continent. Jack said to Jill. Everything was great except for a few things, and Jill said I know what your going to say. It could have meant coming home early. Jack and Jill stayed at a luxury hotel in both Sydney first and then in Melbourne. One night when about to go to bed, they turned down the covers of their bed and there sitting in the middle of the bed was a big snake which promptly jumped off and chased Jill around the room. While Jill was screaming and running Jack had time to call the management and a security guard came up in just a few minutes and used a net to scoop up the snake. Because of this incident Jack and Jill did not have to pay the hotel bill. This occured in Sydney.

Jack and Jill then stayed in Melbourne. They went to some beaches, played golf , went to restaurants, saw the sights, took a lot of photos. Once though they ordered a pizza to be sent up stairs to their hotel room and when they opened the box the pizza was covered with worms. Oh no said Jill: not again. Again because of this Jack and Jill did not have to pay their hotel bill.

Lastly Jack and Jill took a flight to Uluru National Park to see Ayers Rock and were amazed, but Jack and Jill have seen many amazing things in the U.S. too, such as The Grand Canyon, the moving tower rocks in Colorado, Hoover Dam, Niagra Falls, many national state parks. One thing that never happened to them in the U.S,
was what happened to them near Ayers rock. During their stay in the national park along with their tour group a loud buzzing could be heard for many minutes, and all of a sudden a large black swarm of the biggest and meanest flies that Jack and Jill had ever seen attacked the tour group. The guide rushed everyone back into the bus, and tore out of there. The flies followed and attacked the bus often. Jack and Jill asked the driver"Does this thing happen often?" The bus driver said sometimes ,but usually in not such great numbers.

All and all despite these diversions Jack and Jill had a good time, but said they would not visit Australia again. Jack said to Jill. I know this really rich guy called Hiram Big who was recently in Australia. I am going to call him and see what he has to say about the trouble we had. The next day Hiram Big called Jack at home and said: "While my stay in Australia was ok too many weird things kept happening to me and I eventually had to leave. Australia is best left to Australians, and you know what. Thousands of Australians are leaving and emigrating to the U.S. Many of them have the same problems on a daily basis that you and your wife had during your two week stay and they are sick of it. Enough talk about Australia. Next time Jack and Jill will go to the U.K. Things might be safer there.

[Hikarufan]

Two weeks after returning home, Jack and Jill were involved in a police shooting. Jill plans to sue the state for Jack's untimely and unwarranted death at the hands of police.

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by trailmaster

Kevin here

G'Day Kev

Originally Posted by trailmaster

Australia is best left to Australians,

Huh But who we gonna get to have our wildlife bite, sting, eat or just generally annoy

[trailmaster]

Originally Posted by Estreeter

HuhBut who we gonna get to have our wildlife bite, sting, eat or just generally annoy

. The tourists. It's beyond me why tourists want to spend almost $2,ooo just for the jet ride over to Aussieland and then get pummeled by all the wildlife just to see a big red rock, and a few other sites. There is more than enough to see just in America!

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by trailmaster

and a few other sites.

A few

Few thousand, the ones that aren't quite as well known to people from overseas are the best ones,

Daintree Rainforrest
You've heard of Kakadu, but nearby Litchfield is better IMO
Kauziosko National Park
Barossa Valley
90 mile beach
Blue Mountains
Hunter Valley
Great Ocean Road
Canning Stock Route Forget that one, Yanks will perish there just out of being Yanks