What if you lived in Australia?

[Dr Pepper]

Originally Posted by trailmaster

Maybe David Oldfield is really a space alien in disquise. Under what looks like human skin is really lizard skin. He has been on Earth for hundreds of years acting like a regular human, sizing us up for the coming alien invasion. It's like that Twilight Zone episode "To Serve Man". Human scientists first thought that this book that the eight foot tall aliens gave them which they translated as "To Serve Man" was a book about helping us, but in the last minute they realized that the book was a cookbook. The aliens were bringing us to their planet to eat us!

But this was inefficient....and it was much better to process in situ for consumption later....TM is 100% correct ....this time! Here's proof:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/BadTaste

[blondifan]

Originally Posted by palo5

You know nothing about bureaucrats. Come to Russia, then you'll learn AUS is not so bad

But not great either. Like extremes you'll find anywhere, I could site severly handicapped that are denied any form of pension and for that matter Christmas and Manus Island, not to mention our indigenous.

... I had seen too many "Australia Customs Service" shows and thought they would arrest and deport me. From those shows, you'd think they ban you from AUS for life if you import a single foreign peanut

But actually, they didn't care

And yet they threatened to confiscate my dear dead dad's metal safety razor from my onboard luggage.
Had to go under in the hold.


Honestly, I wasn't really gonna give that hostie 'a Brazilian'

[RjG57]

Australia aint the place it use to be, so much bull shit, pettiness and what seems to be just plain meanness by not just business's and government, but some everyday people........... but it is still a great place to be, at the moment anyway....... I guess it's a trend happening everywhere.

[blondifan]

My nearest neighbour moved 'under downunder' a few months ago. When working beside him once he expressed that he feels safer here from threats of terrorism, etc.
I guess being a new father affected this 'tree change'.

Just wait 'till summer comes.

[trailmaster]

If I went to Australia on a vacation I would bring with me a special suitcase. It would have a secret compartment filled with guns, a pump shotgun, a Laws surface to air rocket gun and other ordinance. Customs would not be able to detect the weapons because the suitcase would have special lamination which would deflect radar, x-rays and other detecting radiation. You may say."Why am I bringing into the country this weaponry?". To protect myself from all the nasty critters and weird people. Of all the people who used to be in the former British Commonwealth the Australians are the strangest. Their language is almost impossible to understand. The land is filled with strange creatures all of whom want to do me harm. As a fearful American, coming from a country where almost every citizen owns a gun, and the police are no better than the worst kind of hoodlums I would feel the need for some type of protection. Also if you look at many of the Australian members of VEF most of them seem kind of wacky. That can only be from living in this strange nation known as Australia (and New Zealand)!

[palo5]

Originally Posted by trailmaster

Of all the people who used to be in the former British Commonwealth the Australians are the strangest

The former Commonwealth??

I thought it still existed -- did I miss something, or does it have a new name??

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by trailmaster

If I went to Australia on a vacation I would bring with me a special suitcase.

Yanks

Originally Posted by trailmaster

To protect myself from all the nasty critters and weird people.

Yanks

You only need one thing, sense

[trailmaster]

"Sense". Yes I can just see myself getting off a plane at the Sydney airport, going through customs and then one of your poisonous spiders bites me and I spend my vacation connected to tubes in the hospital for the next two weeks.

[bloke57]

Originally Posted by trailmaster

You may say."Why am I bringing into the country this weaponry?". To protect myself from all the nasty critters and weird people.

Hold on. You're American.

You are the weird people.

[Estreeter]

Originally Posted by trailmaster

"Sense". Yes I can just see myself getting off a plane at the Sydney airport, going through customs and then one of your poisonous spiders bites me and I spend my vacation connected to tubes in the hospital for the next two weeks.

That's OK Mate, think of it as an experience you'll never forget
Plus you can have a few of us Aussie members visit ya, bring get well soon cards, balloons, flowers and nurse ya back to health .... and chuck a Red Back in you're bed for added laughs Oh wait , the Red back is meant for palo