Post your corny jokes - Page 820

**SanteeFats** · July 6th, 2014, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by effCup

But wouldn't that make it a presidential responsibility? No vice once it's legal.
... novice?, hmmm.

No. Here booze, guns, and gambling are legal with in our laws but are still considered vices by the do gooders and the oversight is suppose to enforce the laws and bust the law breakers. It doesn't all that well but I was just making a joke.

**photoflex** · July 6th, 2014, 03:28 PM

Senior trying to set a password:

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters
USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character
USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case
character.
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case
character consecutively.
USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiv eMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER:
ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourA ssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

**retroanalyst** · July 6th, 2014, 03:54 PM

I once went to an open air Queen concert. There was a terrible electrical storm during the performance.

Thunderbolts and lightning. Very, very frightening.

**Mal Hombre** · July 6th, 2014, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by retroanalyst

I once went to an open air Queen concert. There was a terrible electrical storm during the performance.

Thunderbolts and lightning. Very, very frightening.

Still,Who wants to live forever ...

**gedly** · July 6th, 2014, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by retroanalyst

I once went to an open air Queen concert. There was a terrible electrical storm during the performance.

Thunderbolts and lightning. Very, very frightening.

I was there as well . I thought to myself "too late, my time has come". Still, it was nice to see all those Big Bottomed Girls.

**tamsmith** · July 6th, 2014, 10:45 PM

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.

**tamsmith** · July 6th, 2014, 10:51 PM

A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen.
The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins at the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked."

**tamsmith** · July 6th, 2014, 10:52 PM

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!

**gedly** · July 7th, 2014, 04:41 PM

Somebody had told me that Jim Kerr had passed away. I've since found out that he's still Alive and Kicking.

**gedly** · July 7th, 2014, 04:43 PM

I used to share a house with Wham! They always woke me up before they'd go-go.

July 6th, 2014, 03:28 PM	#8192
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,925 Thanked 127,779 Times in 3,570 Posts	Senior trying to set a password: WINDOWS: Please enter your new password. USER: cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters USER: boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character USER: 1 boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiv eMeAccessNow! WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. USER: ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourA ssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use. __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

July 6th, 2014, 03:54 PM	#8193
retroanalyst in memoriam Max Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Germany Posts: 3,586 Thanks: 121,989 Thanked 47,462 Times in 3,337 Posts	I once went to an open air Queen concert. There was a terrible electrical storm during the performance. Thunderbolts and lightning. Very, very frightening. __________________ Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

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July 6th, 2014, 10:45 PM	#8196
tamsmith Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Coming close to the Slippery Slope. Posts: 7,800 Thanks: 77,915 Thanked 280,413 Times in 9,078 Posts	Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.

July 6th, 2014, 10:51 PM	#8197
tamsmith Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Coming close to the Slippery Slope. Posts: 7,800 Thanks: 77,915 Thanked 280,413 Times in 9,078 Posts	A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has been stolen. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins at the bear and says "Oh, I forgot to tell you, today's the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked."

July 6th, 2014, 10:52 PM	#8198
tamsmith Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Coming close to the Slippery Slope. Posts: 7,800 Thanks: 77,915 Thanked 280,413 Times in 9,078 Posts	I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!

July 7th, 2014, 04:41 PM	#8199
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,883 Thanked 69,311 Times in 3,171 Posts	Somebody had told me that Jim Kerr had passed away. I've since found out that he's still Alive and Kicking.

July 7th, 2014, 04:43 PM	#8200
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,883 Thanked 69,311 Times in 3,171 Posts	I used to share a house with Wham! They always woke me up before they'd go-go.